Ugh. Getting worse every day.

[pitseleh]

The thoughts, and the breakdowns have become a daily thing for me. I cannot even function. It's gotten to the point where I'm so mixed up that I think that anytime I feel peace that I have lost my salvation because I'm not noticing sin as much or something like that. I'm still bothered by sin though in my life. But, if I don't gasp everytime I hear a cuss word come out of someone else's mouth that I am in danger.

I'm staying up all night having breakdowns and torturing myself. I told God that I'm leaving it up to him to heal me of this problem. But, when I feel any sense of peace I start worrying all over again. God wants me to be peaceful. So, why am I so afraid of it?

Pray for me please. That God still has me and that I don't lose him and he don't lose me. I'm trying my best to keep on pushing through.

xo,
pitseleh

 

[raven1]

I will be praying for you.

 

[wpage]

Stay positive and on the sunny side!

God loves you and wants you to be happy...

 

[pitseleh]

Now I just ran across this webpage that makes me feel that I am useless to Christ and not even saved. I'm about ready to cry.

Mental Illness

Look but I warn you don't take it to heart. I don't think they are right in this case.

 

[tripletiger1200]

I've felt what you're feeling too pitseleh. You just have to stick it out. The enemy will try to rob you of your peace and keep you from being an effective servant for Christ. You just have to just relax. For me, it helps to imagine myself dropping a box with the word "problem" on it. When I lose peace, I try to think of that, and that I'm taking my hands off of the situation and letting it go.
And as for that site, it seems like mostly garbage to me. It seems to be advocating works based salvation, and the Bible clearly states otherwise.

 

[Kid A]

Don't listen to the nonsense some people put out - mental illness is real, I unfortunately am fully aware of this myself. If you like, I could provide you with my e-mail address or other contact info, and you can contact me ANY time at ALL (day or night) if you need someone to talk to. I know what it's like to need that. I'll pray for you. God Bless.

 

[pitseleh]

Thank you all.

I'll be praying for you all as well.

 

[pitseleh]

Still having the same issues. Trying to rely on God. It's just so hard when you feel like you are pure evil.

 

[LovesTheLord4Life]

I know it's tough, I can empathize with your struggle. What exactly is your biggest OCD fear/obsession? Does it revolve around salvation? Blasphemy? just curious as those are my big ones. I have found it extremely helpful to just repeat the fearful obsession in my head as of late, which has eased the situation a bit. The spikes keep coming though, this is something that doesnt just go away overnight. Praying for you!

 

[pitseleh]

blasphemy and salvation. Also, whether it's me or the disease doing it.

I cannot tell. I know I love Jesus though. So, I'm thinking it's just the disease.

I just want to get better.

 

[kaykay9.0]

I will just add this....my counselor had quite a bit of experience in ministering deliverance to people, but she also felt OCD did NOT fall in this category. Certainly not all
Christians or Christian counselors believe that mental illness doesn't exist. Sure, the demonic realm is real and can influence, but that doesn't mean that's all there is. Just like sometimes physical disease may be caused by demons, it doesn't mean it all is. Daniel 4 speaks about Nebuchadnezzar, the king, losing his sanity and then regaining it when he acknowledges God. It doesn't mention demons causing this. I just think what the website says is an overstatement and over simplification of a problem.

 

[dabro]

Yup been going thru kinda the same stuff. Alot of stress in my life and overwhelming anxiety which IDK how to get rid of. It's all just one big mess.

 

[bluestormz]

I hope he heals you, he gave up on me or so it feels that way. If I had the faith I had before my big breakdown. I'd feel invincible. I'm at the lowest point myself.

 

[billyblueeyes]

hi pitseleh! I am praying for you. I know all too well the despair you are feeling and the enemy will try to kick you when you are down. Sometimes it helps me to go into soldier mode....the more ocd i'm experiencing, the more spiritual armour i have to wear;and remember life is never static...God will make you stronger to deal with the ocd.I'm certain God doesn't want any of us to remain stuck in mental illness....and think of all the people YOU will help for having suffered. billyblueeyes