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Trying to Trust

Discussion in 'Obsessive Compulsive Disorder' started by TenthAveN, Nov 24, 2020.

  1. TenthAveN

    TenthAveN Active Member

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    So I decided Sunday, after a (in my opinion) powerful sermon by our young adults pastor at our church, that I would begin trying to put my full trust in Jesus. However, there’s always worries plaguing my mind.

    1) How do I know if I’m actually trying to trust in Him, or if I’ve just been given a strong delusion, since I’m fairly certain we’re in the last days, and the reason I’ve become so desperate for saving after a period of doing whatever I wanted (though not taking it “too far”) is because I’m afraid of being left behind. It just seems so wrong.

    2) A part of me feels like I’m only doing ERP to gratify my desires, and trying to convince myself that I’m not trusting if I’m restricting myself from things based on fear. I’ve just started self-ERP today, and I’ve only been able to eat a few things that I’m normally afraid to eat. I tried to wear my Vans hoodie today, but I’m afraid that by wearing it, I’m associating myself with California, which seems to represent things that are contrary to the Christian faith.

    3) I’m still very anxious and afraid about sharing my faith and submitting to God’s will. I’ve struggled with the concept of faith before works. People often tell me that I do love God, contrary to my belief that I don’t. They say that I have the Holy Spirit, but I disagree. It’s frustrating. How could i love God and have the Holy Spirit, yet be so reluctant to do God’s will?

    Answers and prayers are appreciated, thank you.
     
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  2. St_Worm2

    St_Worm2 Member Supporter

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    Hello @TenthAveN, "trying" to more fully trust God is, in a sense, what we all do as He sanctifies us/grows us up in Christlikeness during our lives here. It's not like we just decide one day that we are going to fully trust Him and boom, that's what we do. Like all other relationships, trusting someone fully takes time, just like fully surrendering our lives to God does, and/or fully accepting that He always has our good in mind/always wants the very best for us, even in the midst of things appearing to go horribly wrong in our lives (which we are able to do as we rest in His great promise to us that He works ~ALL~ things in our lives, both the good AND the bad, together for our good :amen: .. Romans 8:28).

    Trusting God, surrendering our lives to Him, and accepting what happens to us, come what may (accepting the things that we have no control over as something that God ordains, is in control of, and intends for us to go through .. for our good), is obviously all related, yes?

    So make it your intention to trust Him as best you can today, 1. by looking to the Cross and remembering everything that He did for you there (and how very much He loves you), and then 2. by trusting/believing/obeying what He has to say in the Bible (~especially~ when your feelings tell you not to) :preach: And if you fail to do so, no worries, just ask Him to forgive you and trust that He will do just that (because He promised us that He would .. 1 John 1:9). God is always patient/long-suffering towards us, in part because He knows that learning to fully trust Him takes time.

    I have a couple of other comments, but I'll need to come back after work today to make them. One last thing, does your reluctance to do God's will have to do with your reluctance to witness and evangelize (principally/specifically)?

    Thanks!

    God bless you!

    --David

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Nov 24, 2020
  3. Jeshu

    Jeshu Bought by His Blood Supporter

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    That is because we have unrighteousness dwelling in us by nature. Paul says in exasperation now the things i don't want to do i do and the things i do want to i don't. And then he posses the question.... who can rescue us from such reality? Jesus can!

    So understand that in your human nature you are anti God, or that is where the goats dwell and we have our faithful times with God and the Holy Spirit in charge.

    Now Jesus wants your whole heart to be in a relationship with Him. Wrong and all! So that His loving grace can renew you each day a bit more.

    That is called sanctification.

    So give the Holy Spirit control over all of your heart and let God's loving truth decide what is right and what is wrong. The living word will divide the sheep from the goats, you don't have to worry about that.

    Hebrews 4:12-13
     
  4. timothyu

    timothyu Well-Known Member

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    Following Jesus is simply a way of life that tries not follow the usual patterns of man... self interest, self defining good and evil to suit self, gain at the expense of others. In other words loving all as self. Understanding which way is better is what is important in declaring your allegiance to putting God's will before man's. Don't get hung up on other details. At least for now til you settle in.
     
    Last edited: Nov 24, 2020
  5. GirdYourLoins

    GirdYourLoins Well-Known Member

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    Whats ERP?
     
  6. TenthAveN

    TenthAveN Active Member

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    I don’t know, it’s just that every time I think about submitting and following Jesus, I just get this anxious feeling in my chest that screams “NO”. And that anxious feeling triggers more anxiety like “How can I be useful and produce fruit if this is my reaction every time?”
     
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  7. TenthAveN

    TenthAveN Active Member

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    Exposure Response Prevention. It’s exposing yourself to that which makes you anxious, like for me it’s eating a food that my overactive conscience says not to, or wearing a shirt that makes me anxious (like my NY Giants t-shirt).
     
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  8. timothyu

    timothyu Well-Known Member

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    Is that not a natural reaction to what is perceived as an alien/outside threat? (although perhaps in your case a tad exaggerated through no fault of your own). We have a dual nature and one side, our animal instinctive nature seeks to protect itself. It is normal for our animal side to clash with our spiritual side but for the most part we maintain a balance.

    But consider what you said about the NO and submitting to Jesus. Again that is your worldly side reacting to an outside influence. Jesus represented a counter-culture to the natural ways of mankind. He was rebellious to the system. Man's ways are self serving while His ways, the ways of the Kingdom are all about serving each other. So if the self serving ways are threatened they will react. Perhaps, and this is just a theory, that serving others instead of self (producing fruit) will actually subdue that anxiety if put into practice, and the anxiety side of you out of self preservation, doesn't want you to go there. Not an enviable position you are in but my best wishes in your getting a handle on it..
     
  9. TenthAveN

    TenthAveN Active Member

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    Perhaps that’s why my reluctance is startling. I think most of my anxiety stems from initiating the conversation. I think I’d be fine answering questions, though there are instances in which I’ve initiated the conversation before.
     
  10. timothyu

    timothyu Well-Known Member

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    Oh I see. You've been told to get out there and convert people, like the rah rah of some Amway enterprise. Don't worry about being a salesperson. Be yourself. Be someone people are not intimidated by. If people allow you close enough for conversation you can always ask them what it is about the world they hate. That always opens the door to offering simply the wisdom of Jesus as a solution to man's self serving ways. "There once was this guy who taught that treating enemies as if they were your friends went a long way in establishing a working relationship, especially when they could trust you would not seek gain at their expense". You've addressed their concerns about the world and offered a solution and didn't need to sell them a thing. :)
     
  11. St_Worm2

    St_Worm2 Member Supporter

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    Hello @TenthAveN, I'm with @timothyu, if you're having trouble initiating conversations (witnessing and/or evangelistic), why not use leading questions to (in essence) get the people you are witnessing to to initiate the conversations for you instead :oldthumbsup:

    I believe this method of teaching is known as the Socratic method, and it works by using questions to see where similarities and differences lie in knowledge and understanding, and it's also useful to help people engage/think critically about a topic and look beyond the obvious/look at an old topic in an entirely new way, etc.

    IOW, instead of just giving them the facts, you ask them questions that will help them reach the answers that they need to know on their own :)

    If you are interested, here's a book to get you started that details exactly how to do this.

    Finally, don't forget that there is a difference between "witnessing" and "evangelism". All of us are called to be witnesses, but not all of us have the gift of evangelism. For witnessing, put yourself in a courtroom scene, almost like you are a witness for the prosecution. You don't talk about what you don't know as a witness, rather, witnessing is all what you know and have experienced, personally, and in this case its what you know and have experienced about the Lord, about the Christian faith, and about what your life was like as an unbeliever in contrast to what it's like now since you've become a believer.

    It's YOUR story, and all the Lord is really asking us to do is share our "story" with others. Of course, you should be prepared to tell them how you came to saving faith in Jesus if it gets to that point (to help them come to saving faith too, if they want to), as that is certainly an important part of your story as well.

    Also, pray that the Lord would lead you to people who need to hear the Gospel, and then keep your eyes open for people (incl family and friends) who are clearly upset/hurting. That's what the guy who led me to the Lord did :) He saw that I was hurting for some reason, tried to get to the bottom of my pain and did, and then he told me that he thought he had the answer that I was looking for, but that he didn't think I was ready to hear it ... which, of course, made me want to hear it all the more ;)

    God bless you!

    --David
    p.s. - remember too that it's your job to plant seeds (or water seeds which have already been planted) by sharing your story and what you've come to know about God and about the faith (with others who desperately need to hear it), but it's the Holy Spirit's job to bring them to saving faith. So witnessing/evangelism is most often about just that, planting seeds/watering, not harvesting a crop (so to speak), though we can hope that the Lord will allow us to be part of the latter (seeing people come all the way to saving faith) at least some of the time.
     
    Last edited: Nov 24, 2020
  12. christinemurphy

    christinemurphy New Member

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    Thanks! This is a relief
     
  13. St_Worm2

    St_Worm2 Member Supporter

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    Hello @TenthAveN, in thinking back to the topic of trying to trust God, don't forget that ~YOU~ are what's most important to Him, NOT what you do for Him. He is, after all, our Abba (loving Heavenly Father), who sees us like a loving parent does and values us because of who we are, His family/His adopted sons and daughters, as human "beings", not as human "doings" :amen:

    Hopefully your parents didn't drop kick you out the front door whenever you did something that they didn't like, and your Heavenly Father is the same, patient with you, forgiving of all of your foibles, always wanting the very best for you, truly loving you. It's all about the growing relationship that we have with Him, and that He has with us, and it's through that relationship in Him and with Him, with all of the ups and downs that all relationships have at times, that we grow up in Him/in Christlikeness and are sanctified.

    God bless you!

    --David
     
    Last edited: Nov 25, 2020
  14. Novis

    Novis Newbie

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    Sometimes we have the right goals, good ones that God has put in us, but our strategy for fulfilling those goals are completely off. There were times I tried to share faith and ended up doing it completely wrong (as far as I can tell), possibly even entrenching the other people's original positions. So, while I don't know the whole of your situation, these reactions might be a response to some sense you're getting that says, rightly or wrongly, that you're using the wrong approach.

    That's not to say the God won't sometimes lead you to do something unpleasant, but those are also the time when you need to rely most on His guidance rather than your own decision making.
     
  15. GirdYourLoins

    GirdYourLoins Well-Known Member

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    I was extremely shy when I was younger as a result of suffering traumatic violent abuse throughout my childhood. Challenging myself to do things that I knew affected me was a major part of my healing. Teaching yourself that there is no need to fear those situations. Then I also became a Christian and had massive healing. To the point of giving presentations to rooms full of people, being able to do public speaking and not caring if I offend people. Maybe it was even a bit too effective, lol.

    With sharing faith there is another aspect at work as well though, the battle against the flesh. The flesh is sinful by nature so can rise up when you try to share your faith.
     
  16. TenthAveN

    TenthAveN Active Member

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    I think that’s my problem
     
  17. Mari17

    Mari17 Well-Known Member

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    I think it's great that you're trying to do "self-ERP"! It's hard to do, but definitely a path to freedom from the tangled "jungle" that OCD creates in our brains. How is that going for you?
     
  18. TenthAveN

    TenthAveN Active Member

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    Idk, someone in another thread mentioned sinning against my conscience so I’ve kind of stepped back a bit
     
  19. Mari17

    Mari17 Well-Known Member

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    Sinning against your conscience in what way?
     
  20. TenthAveN

    TenthAveN Active Member

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    ERP is going against what your (overactive) conscience tells you.
     
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