trying to get straight on everything...

[Caty]

i really want this to be over, im having really bad thoughts again, and i feel like im blaspheming when i have them, i dont want them but im terrified that they are from me. i think about religious stuff 24/7 so its not like they jsut "pop-up" like everybody else's. I feel like God is laughing at me because ill probably go to hell, now i dont think i really had any bad intentions when i posted about my thoughts, but it seems like everything i do i feel guilty and feel like why should i have even be born if i was just going to hell, you cant help being born. i wish i could turn back time and not worry over the little things and maybe i would be where i am right now, how do i know everything is okay with me & God?

 

[kaykay9.0]

I think everything IS ok between you and God, but you may not FEEL like it's okay until your OCD struggles are better controlled. The problem is with the OCD. It's not really a spiritual issue. Your OCD has just latched onto spiritual things (which is most common for Christians.) I know it may not feel that way, but as someone with a long history with this mess, it is. Praying for you, caty.

 

[Caty]

how do you know its ocd, what if its spiritual...how can you tell the difference????

 

[seajoy]

Caty, have you been diagnosed with ocd? If so, it is the ocd. Ocd is the "doubting disease". We doubt we are saved, doubt we are forgiven etc.... God understands ocd, and does not hold it against us.

What type of meds and therapy are you doing, if any? Both would help you so much. Therapy is hard, but it is the standard treatment...and it works. I barely even think of the bad thoughts anymore...and yes, I had them 24/7 like you. I even dreamed them. I spent many days in the hospital because of my ocd. There is help, and God can and does use meds, therapy, and His Word to help in our recovery.

You are a dearly loved child of God. Treat yourself the same way you would treat anyone here. With compassion. It's how Jesus treats you. He does not condemn His own, but holds them dear. You are no different than the rest of us.

 

[Nicolas N.]

All you need Caty is to rebuild your relationship with God. He loves you just as He does any of His children. The only thing that keeps us far from him is sin. This makes us guilty and rob us of his blessings and God's promises in our lives.

Nicolas.

 

[Nicolas N.]

All you need Caty is to rebuild your relationship with God. He loves you just as He does any of His children. The only thing that keeps us far from him is sin. This makes us guilty and rob us of his blessings and God's promises in our lives.

Nicolas.

 

[Caty]

i went to a counseulor and she said i experianced symptoms of people with ocd and people that have a lot of phobias (which i do) she wouldnt put me on medication because she felt i was too young, so i worry if i do have ocd or if ive just committed the unforgivable sin and this is my punishment.

 

[seajoy]

i went to a counseulor and she said i experianced symptoms of people with ocd and people that have a lot of phobias (which i do) she wouldnt put me on medication because she felt i was too young, so i worry if i do have ocd or if ive just committed the unforgivable sin and this is my punishment.

How old are you, Caty? You really do have classic ocd symptoms. I think your counselor was right in her diagnosis.

 

[Caty]

16

 

[Caty]

i hope i have ocd, if not then i fear im in a lot of trouble w/God.

 

[seajoy]

i hope i have ocd, if not then i fear im in a lot of trouble w/God.

You are not in a lot of trouble with God. You have an illness. Jesus always had mercy on those who were sick.

 

[Caty]

i just have the "what if" im not sick? I have bitter feelings every now and then because i was trying to get close to God but I feel like ive been forced away from him.

 

[seajoy]

i just have the "what if" im not sick? I have bitter feelings every now and then because i was trying to get close to God but I feel like ive been forced away from him.

That's just your tricky ocd mind telling you lies and doubting. You have not been forced away. Jesus is holding you right now. He understands ocd, because He is God. We can take comfort in that.

 

[Caty]

i guess since ive always felt this way i have a distorted view of God, but i feel way too terrible an unforgivable for Jesus to want.

 

[seajoy]

i guess since ive always felt this way i have a distorted view of God, but i feel way too terrible an unforgivable for Jesus to want.

I suggest you talk with your parents about seeing a psychiatrist so you can get proper therapy for your illness. There is no need for you to suffer so. It has been known for quite some time what works to help OCD. In this day and age one should get the help that is out there. Make sure your parents know exactly how bad your ocd is. I'm sure they will get you some help - or talk to a trusted adult who can speak to your parents with you.

 

[Caty]

i mean my mom knows how bad i am & the counselor knows, but they both said that meds were a bad idea because im young, i wouldnt care to be put on them, but i dont know how to tell the counselor that, because im tired of feeling so anxious & stuff.

 

[seajoy]

i mean my mom knows how bad i am & the counselor knows, but they both said that meds were a bad idea because im young, i wouldnt care to be put on them, but i dont know how to tell the counselor that, because im tired of feeling so anxious & stuff.

Talk with your mom again and see if you can get in to see another doctor. It took me several doctors before there was one who understood ocd. Even if you cannot go on meds at this point, you should be doing some form of therapy. It would help you lots. To just send you home with the anxiety you have is just plain wrong.

 

[Caty]

i guess ill say something & just hope when they look into it farther its ocd & not spiritual.

 

[kaykay9.0]

i hope i have ocd, if not then i fear im in a lot of trouble w/God.

Caty, as seajoy just said, you have classic OCD symptoms, very classic. Sometimes we doubt that it is OCD causing our issues cause when we are spiking it seems so real and logical to us. And yes, as I've said before, our OCD struggles usually have some basis in reality but we have overblown what is reality or truth to the point that it actually becomes error. Does that make any sense to you?

 

[kaykay9.0]

I suggest you talk with your parents about seeing a psychiatrist so you can get proper therapy for your illness. There is no need for you to suffer so. It has been known for quite some time what works to help OCD. In this day and age one should get the help that is out there. Make sure your parents know exactly how bad your ocd is. I'm sure they will get you some help - or talk to a trusted adult who can speak to your parents with you.

I agree. Some counselors don't even recognize the OCD when it's the purely obsessional type such as religious OCD (not like handwashing compulsions etc.)