Truths

[DragonFox91]

This morning is hard..........

 

[DragonFox91]

The biggest obstacle is seeing someone consistently to build up to asking her.

You’re either pulled to other things, or she is.

I don’t understand how you can ever build up to asking when people don’t follow routines & patterns to see each other consistently.

That is the new hurdle. For a while it was meeting singles in general. Now it’s you try to see them consistently & either you’re pulled elsewhere or they are. I know several Christian single ladies, but when you only see them once a month, good luck building to asking them!....but, aye, Christians don't believe in luck

 

[DragonFox91]

It is challenging today......

 

[DragonFox91]

It is hard sometimes.

 

[DragonFox91]

Most people were never single, that’s why they get divorced
Purpose & Priority of singleness -> God did not create a married person first! Adam was so busy doing what God was calling him to do, God interrupted him. Foundation of God’s design for the family. Built entire human race on one person, one man, so established the importance of a single person! Man is foundation
1st thing God gave Adam was himself. 2ND thing God gave Adam was work. Hebrew word for work means to become. Clear understanding of who they are.
Man to have vision, & woman to be helper. If he has nothing to do, she has nothing to help with, so she helps herself.
Divorce -> death of a relationship, perpetual, resurrects anger, why God hates it, divorce has no burial,
Being single required to be married, so your marriage no better as your singleness -> exposes it. You bring what you are, so stop concentrating on it
Good to be single – NOT GOOD to be alone. Never confuse single w/ being alone -> relationships get better the more single you become
Singleness is a state to pursue, run to it! To be single should be the goal of every married person b/c singleness increases value you bring, the more worth you are to another person
People asked Jesus about divorce, Jesus goes back to when God created man & woman. The product (marriage) isn’t wrong, the ingredients are. The problem isn’t the divorce, the problem is you.
God knows how to make it work because he made it.
You should leave your mother & father if you find someone -> in other words, singleness was God’s original plan (my own thought -> I’m not sure how this follows)
“What God has joined together” – God does it
If you don’t change to get her, you won’t keep her
Unless they commit adultery, you are locked into it in heaven
Knowledge protects against divorce
Love wife like Christ loves his wife -> clean her, wash her, restore her, cultivate her, improves her, gives her the Word, develops her
God won’t give you woman you want b/c you’re called to cultivate her like Christ chose us & married & cultivated us sinners
Protect!
Would you marry you? Are you in the Garden? Are you working? Are you cultivating? Can you protect? Do you have the Word?
God says “it’s not good for the man to be alone” What man? The one in the Garden, working, cultivating, protecting, in the Word!

Notes from a video bella shared

 

[DragonFox91]

Today is hard......

 

[DragonFox91]

The Group is going well. Haven't really had a chance to talk to any of the single women there the past couple times, but it is what it is. I'm liking the Group anyways & dating isn't why I'm going, it's just good to fellowship w/ other people who want to follow Christ. All believers should be doing that.

 

[bèlla]

I've provided the resources you require for your edification. And if you absorb them you'll know the way forward and won't be heavy laden. I leave the last in the hope the message is recognizable and you'll see the parallels with the Kingdom. That is the Crown we serve. You may wish to read the statement for greater insight.

When I received my calling I didn't focus on the heroes. I looked at the failures. How did they miss the mark? Why did they abdicate? How could they forsake the Lord? The answers are found in her words.

Many have fallen due to an inability (or unwillingness) to separate personal indulgences from duty. Duty isn't personal choice or interpretation. It's the principles God established for the world.

It doesn't matter what we want...what we think or feel...who we like or dislike...our loyalties or beliefs.

In every instance...in all scenarios...no matter the circumstances or parties involved. The Crown must win. It must ALWAYS win. And when it does you've found the Kingdom.

When we approach our faith with that in mind and the Kingdom is first we needn't wonder about our duty or how to proceed.

Whatever our crown...whatever we place at the forefront and exalt...is our trajectory. Everything that follows is an outgrowth of that decision. Life replicates the commitment through our experiences.

If we want the Kingdom and all it provides the Crown must win. It must always win. There is no compromise.

God bless.

~bella

 

[DragonFox91]

I've provided the resources you require for your edification. And if you absorb them you'll know the way forward and won't be heavy laden. I leave the last in the hope the message is recognizable and you'll see the parallels with the Kingdom. That is the Crown we serve. You may wish to read the statement for greater insight.

When I received my calling I didn't focus on the heroes. I looked at the failures. How did they miss the mark? Why did they abdicate? How could they forsake the Lord? The answers are found in her words.

Many have fallen due to an inability (or unwillingness) to separate personal indulgences from duty. Duty isn't personal choice or interpretation. It's the principles God established for the world.

It doesn't matter what we want...what we think or feel...who we like or dislike...our loyalties or beliefs.

In every instance...in all scenarios...no matter the circumstances or parties involved. The Crown must win. It must ALWAYS win. And when it does you've found the Kingdom.

When we approach our faith with that in mind and the Kingdom is first we needn't wonder about our duty or how to proceed.

Whatever our crown...whatever we place at the forefront and exalt...is our trajectory. Everything that follows is an outgrowth of that decision. Life replicates the commitment through our experiences.

If we want the Kingdom and all it provides the Crown must win. It must always win. There is no compromise.

God bless.

~bella

What's this all mean, it's confusing, a "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" parallel?

 

[bèlla]

What's this all mean, it's confusing, a "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" parallel?

The Kingdom of God isn't metaphorical. Heaven is a kingdom and earth is God's second territory. We are sons and daughters of the King. Which makes us princes and princesses in that realm. God doesn't reside on earth. It's our domain and we were given dominion for this plane. That's rulership.

It's impossible to ascend the throne in heaven because the King cannot die. But in this realm we can. We rule in His stead with the aid of the Holy Spirit and the principles He set forth in the word. That's why Christ came and why He's called the second Adam. He restored the dominion we lost (in the garden) and He's King of kings for that reason.

The video articulates the principle through monarchy. The two Elizabeth's should have immediately brought the old and new man to mind. That's the dichotomy we have. Much like her duty was to the institution we bear a similar responsibility to God upon salvation.

The Crown in this instance is the Lord. When I said the Crown must always win I'm acknowledging the necessity of putting Him first and placing His wants above ours. Even when they conflict. Kingdom's aren't democracies. There's no negotiation. He has the final word.

She noted the failures to reinforce the consequences of compromise. We're guilty of the same. Look at the numerous things believers question or try to work around when the bible is clear. They make it fit their perspective instead of surrendering their will for His.

Most believers aren't conversant in the subject. They weren't born in kingdoms and never studied the monarchy in depth. Nor were they reared in families where duty and mission were mainstays. When you understand what a king embodies you'll realize you're not autonomous.

When He said seek ye first the Kingdom of God and its righteousness it means what it says. Kingdom principles should be our primary focus. We should be learning how the Kingdom works and preparing for our assignment and serving where we're placed. The position is influential. The things we touch should bring heaven on earth. That's why we're here.

And by doing so the other things are provided on our behalf. That's why He admonished them about worrying what they'd eat or drink. Provision is a byproduct of citizenship. He knows what you need and it's His responsibility to provide it. You don't have to beg or wring your hands. He isn't a miser.

If you recognize you're in service to the King (God) and embrace your duty (representing the Kingdom on earth) through the work (your assignment/purpose) you've been given to perform and bear in mind the responsibilities of representation (influence) and live with that in mind the Crown comes first.

If you want to do things your way or prefer a life with liberties beyond the ones the King permits you've chosen a different path. It doesn't matter if you call it faith or something else. All that matters is what the King says. He makes the rules we don't.

Life is easier when we know our place and follow the rules. Most are focused on the things and miss the Kingdom in the process. But when you live your life from that perspective you'll draw the rest automatically.

I shared a resource who teaches Kingdom principles for believers. I have others who do the same for entrepreneurs and several who do so for investments. The same applies with home, relationships, health, productivity, inspiration and so on. See the pattern? Whatever we feed will grow.

From the moment I said yes three things occurred. I spent time in His presence and immersed myself in the word. That was first. I didn't join anything or seek a spouse. I pursued Him instead. Classes followed with opportunities for fellowship and service. That wasn't my starting point. Communion was the priority.

I didn't go to church seeking a companion or friends and I didn't have either at the time. I relinquished them (friends) as a result of my convictions. I wanted to follow Him and surrounding myself with people who felt otherwise was foolish. I let them go and trusted His provision and He provided.

I went to church with giving in mind. I wasn't looking for others to do things for me. I was there to serve and did so in many ways. It wasn't limited to gifts or expertise. I saw a need and got involved. Lack wasn't an impediment or excuse.

I volunteered to be a wedding coordinator but I didn't have a spouse. I've taught, been on leadership teams, went through a missionary prep program, served in that community and supported a missionary in France. I've assisted with prayer meetings, conferences, evening service, bible studies, trained in outreach for Muslims, did street ministry, prayer walking, and ministered to the homeless and the lost. That doesn't include the courses I've taken for spiritual growth. I served liberally until He gave me my assignment.

I made prayer a priority and learned how to hear from God and how to pray and fast in that season. I wasn't worried about the things others were focused on. Deepening our relationship was the priority.

Many years passed before I read a marriage book. I spent years advising people and helping them overcome their problems. I understood a relationship is the sum of its parts. I didn't look to authors or pastors for the truth. I went to the word to hear His perspective. I discovered the qualities He esteemed and what marriage entailed. He's the Authority.

When I want to know something I go to the Source. Christ said He does what the Father does. That's His benchmark and mine. The video is a visible depiction of submission. She yields to the monarchy and I yield to the King. That's why the Crown comes first. It's not about me. It's what He doing through me for His glory.

Kennedy's words come to mind, "Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country." If more believers did the same with the Kingdom in mind the world would be a better place.

~bella

 

[DragonFox91]

If you want to do things your way or prefer a life with liberties beyond the ones the King permits you've chosen a different path. It doesn't matter if you call it faith or something else. All that matters is what the King says. He makes the rules we don't.


~bella

This is all that needs to be said!

 

[DragonFox91]

So much joy in the Lord right now, & peace. I s/ otherwise be grumbling about being single, it wants to be upset but aye, I am unable to be upset.....even tho yes, I do still would like one.

 

[bèlla]

I'm reading this now. You may find it edifying and easier to follow than a video.

The biblical blueprint for what it looks like for you to live as an empowered Kingdom citizen. You will learn how to:

• Identify and access your royal rights as a citizen of God’s Kingdom
• Exercise your authority as an ambassador of Christ in your sphere of influence
• Change atmospheres around you with the climate of Heaven

The Kingdom is not just about going to Heaven one day after you die...it is about walking in the purpose and power of Heaven today while you are still living on Earth!

 

[DragonFox91]

I can put it on my list. I'm a slow reader. I like to digest it & process it. Read all day at work, reading isn't always what I want to do in the evening. I try to read a few pages every night tho. I can put it on my list. I'm finding wisdom in the videos.

So:
Bella shared these videos. They are about how God's ideal is for the Single man to be thriving, in him, with a clear God-given purpose already at work, before a wife. This all has Biblical basis from Genesis.
This makes a lot of sense to me. When I started this thread, I was wrestling w/ 'it'll happen when it happens' & why that seemed bad advice to me & any other single man: You have to get ready for her, because you have to be ready for her. You in your current state are not ready for her & that'll only lead to problems
The videos go into a lot more than that. I post them here for Single men & encourage they listen & apply.

Notes from 1st video above. I'm currently 1/2 way thru second video. So wise.

 

[DragonFox91]

Part 2:
What you’ve been taught about singleness (that it’s bad & is to be gotten rid of) is the source of your problem
Singleness is not the same as unmarried.
All instructions God gave Man were given only to a single man at first
Genesis describes God as presenting Eve to Adam -> Adam chose her!
“Not good for this man to be alone”. Hebrew: “not for this man to be all one”. Composition
When God begins something, it’s already finished to him. When he began something, he finished it.
Everybody came from Adam, so when God spoke to Adam, he spoke to everybody.
When God wanted more, God pulled out of Adam
God didn’t say “it’s not good for this man to be single”
Single: separate (apart), unique (special), whole (complete). Would you like to stop being those? These make you attractive! Be these! God said it’s not good for this man to be alone!
Alone: exclusive, isolated, solitary -> God said not good for man to be those
Love can only be complete when the reciver is just like the giver. “You cannot give pearls to swine”. Value of gift can’t be appreciated
Adam (man) created in image of God’s love. But Adam (man) can’t dwell all as one. Adam (man) already has God, so he needs another body b/c love has to give. The man is built to give. Woman is built to receive. God commands husband to love wife. If you can’t give to her, leave her alone!
Adam was complete spirit-to-spirit, but w/ woman he’s complete flesh to flesh. Your spirit don’t need wife, b/c you worship God spirit-to-spirit.
The head of the child is the woman, the head of the woman is the man, the head of the man is Christ. For protection. When you take wife, you are not alone -> God promises if you cover her, he will cover you
When you are perfectly single, God gives you opportunity to give yourself away
When you are whole, you are not a burden to your wife. You have so much excess, you have to give it. If you’re nobody, nobody got married.
Marriage exposes your bad traits. Magnified by marriage. Magnifies you are not separate, unique, & whole
It was God who said it wasn’t good for Adam to be alone -> Genesis doesn’t say Adam said he didn’t want to be alone! You are ready when you don’t need to be. It’s a privilege for the other person. Would be foolish to leave. God says he is a Light & so are you.
BUT: God gave Adam another human. That is why you can never get married & be fulfilled, because all you need is other humans to give
Pursue being separate, unique, & whole! Love your neighbor as much as yourself! (my own thought: practice & prepare!)

 

[DragonFox91]

This is all that needs to be said!

We do not obey because of a desire for legalism, but we are convicted of our sin by our King

 

[DragonFox91]

Another video from bella I encourage single men (& women I suppose) to listen to.

This video discusses man’s role in the household. What happens after marriage. But what you should already be practicing.

Notes:
God gave man dominion over the earth. He did not give man dominion over woman. He gave same command to woman
“Helpmate” best translated as “help that is fit (compatible) for him”
We do it opposite & go from church to church looking for wife – but we are supposed to be preparing ourselves. “Seek ye first the kingdom” – Jesus
We don’t know if Eve had talked to the Serpent before, nor where Adam was
If you don’t have knowledge & capability to teach woman the word, you are not ready for marriage.
We tend not to sin alone because we would otherwise feel guilty
Eve picks fruit first, but God asks for Adam, God says Adam is the one responsible! The man is responsible. Get the man out, everything is destroyed

God picked Abraham because he knew Abraham. What he knew about Abraham: he will direct his children, & his household, & his servants, all in the way of the Lord. How can you do this if you spend your time not in the way of the Lord?
Commanded in Deuteronomy to teach to your children & their children (your household). But not just teach, do it yourself
If you tell children ‘I can do this but not you’ on things you shouldn’t be doing, they see the double-standard
God is concerned about how your children are being taught. Didn’t say send them to church or school or a godparent. YOU teach them
At mealtime. In the morning. Before bed. At work. At leisure. Whatever’s in your thoughts. Whatever your hands do.
“On your doorposts.” Means what holds your household up! So whoever comes in, they must pass thru God’s Word. Be careful who you let in!
World thinks man who speaks about God is a sissy & not ‘cool’. No! A real man has devotions & when he finishes, he talks about God. Don’t be ashamed!
When you wake up, you tend to think about what you were thinking about before bed…….Think about the word of God before sleep!

Submit means to willfilly give your will to another. Submission NOT forceful or pressure. Decision by the one who is submitting.
Submission by force & fear is slavery. Perfect love casts out fear. If man has to use fear, he does not love her. She has to submit to him as long as he is following the Lord. 1 Corinthians says if he is not, remove yourself.
We follow Jesus! He doesn’t force us, pulling us like on a rope against our will. We submit to his authority
Jesus says “if you sin, I am faithful”
No woman to submit to you until you submit to Jesus
Earn her! Ask her! You want a fine woman – you become a fine man. Prepare yourself for who God is preparing for you, then you’ll have something to give -> don’t focus on what you want because then you’ll have nothing to give.

 

[DragonFox91]

if you are not happy single it's 1 person not happy. When you're not happy married its 2 people not happy

 

[LoveDivine]

I believe the truth is often very simple. God knows the desires of our hearts and that includes marriage. I think a single person really just needs to focus on loving God and developing a deeper relationship with him and making their petitions / wishes for a spouse in prayer. There are definitely ways we can improve our lives while we are still single, but I don't think we need to view singleness as some quest to become deserving of the right partner. I think that overcomplicates things and can become a trap for self-importance and thinking too highly of ourselves.

 

[DragonFox91]

Language has been so corrupted, it makes me wonder if the original word wasn't single but unmarried. That the word single is a man-made creation by marrieds (or unmarrieds who don't want to be unmarried) to degrade those unmarried, that they are not complete, unique, & whole. For when you are married, you are still an individiual. So it makes me think the word single is actually a perversion of the orignal word. I don't know tho, it's hard to tell, maybe it's just our understanding of the word that's been perverted or I'm being overly analytical or sensitive.