Hi all, I'm new here, it's very nice to meet you all. I think I should preface my post by saying I'm not technically a Christian, but I'm trying to explore the faith. Unfortunately, however, much of my experience so far has been centered around my OCD.
Recently, I've been struggling with an obsession that has upset me for almost a year now. Up until now, I've played a certain video game that has given me a sense of identity and purpose in my life. However, a year ago, when I was praying to God, a random voice popped into my head, saying, "If I play this character in the video game, then my little brother was going to die." Since it occurred during prayer, I was almost certain God was talking to me.
As such, I wanted God to show me it was really him. That night, I prayed to Him to make it rain tomorrow if the voice I heard in my head was really His will. That morning, it did. I think part of me was reluctant to accept this as fact, so I did so two more times, and both times, it rained. Part of me thinks this is a coincidence, but the other part of me thinks that God just proved himself three times over. I haven't touched that game since.
The funny thing is, after leaving that game, I realized that my life had turned around quite a bit. Although I began to realize that I was lacking a sense of purpose, identity, and joy in the real life, leaving the game made me very depressed as well, since I didn't experience those things in the real world.
Since then, I've decided that I want to try to incorporate a healthy balance between the real world with love for the video game, since I realize it's a bit hard to do one without the other. However, the thing holding me back is worrying if God will really let my brother die if I play this video game. Most of me really thinks that the thought in my head is really his will.
The people I've talked to suggested I look towards scripture for guidance. But I'm not really sure where to begin. If anything, I feel like some parts of the scripture have sections where God provides a dire consequence for an individual, then sends signs confirming his will (think of Pharaoh).
I would really appreciate it if Christians who are more experienced with the Scripture let me know if they think this is God's will or my OCD messing me up. I would also really appreciate it if you could find certain Bible passages that support your claim. Thank you in advance, Amen!
Recently, I've been struggling with an obsession that has upset me for almost a year now. Up until now, I've played a certain video game that has given me a sense of identity and purpose in my life. However, a year ago, when I was praying to God, a random voice popped into my head, saying, "If I play this character in the video game, then my little brother was going to die." Since it occurred during prayer, I was almost certain God was talking to me.
As such, I wanted God to show me it was really him. That night, I prayed to Him to make it rain tomorrow if the voice I heard in my head was really His will. That morning, it did. I think part of me was reluctant to accept this as fact, so I did so two more times, and both times, it rained. Part of me thinks this is a coincidence, but the other part of me thinks that God just proved himself three times over. I haven't touched that game since.
The funny thing is, after leaving that game, I realized that my life had turned around quite a bit. Although I began to realize that I was lacking a sense of purpose, identity, and joy in the real life, leaving the game made me very depressed as well, since I didn't experience those things in the real world.
Since then, I've decided that I want to try to incorporate a healthy balance between the real world with love for the video game, since I realize it's a bit hard to do one without the other. However, the thing holding me back is worrying if God will really let my brother die if I play this video game. Most of me really thinks that the thought in my head is really his will.
The people I've talked to suggested I look towards scripture for guidance. But I'm not really sure where to begin. If anything, I feel like some parts of the scripture have sections where God provides a dire consequence for an individual, then sends signs confirming his will (think of Pharaoh).
I would really appreciate it if Christians who are more experienced with the Scripture let me know if they think this is God's will or my OCD messing me up. I would also really appreciate it if you could find certain Bible passages that support your claim. Thank you in advance, Amen!
