Trickery

[TheMainException]

Satan's minions are trying to trick me. He works nonstop to pull me in anyway away from God, even just to compromise with him. "One drink is okay." "You can have one, you aren't addicted anymore." "You're 21 now, have a true celebratory drink with your brother now that you've finally gotten to see him since you had your birthday." Oh the trickery! He thinks I'm fool enough! What he just doesn't get is that I'm too cool for him.

I'm out to encourage myself, to encourage those who struggle and receive encouragement from others as well. You know you're too cool! Don't drop to his level. Your old man screams at you from the grave, having lost power over you through blood and sacrifice. That's what this weekend is about, isn't it? Jesus has conquered more than the grave. Satan has no true power over us. Our old selves are done away with and yet...we run thirsting after one last drop in the bucket...anything to get away. His lies can harm us no more though. We don't need to give in. Strive onward. We have victory.

 

[BobW188]

Friend'o'mine, you'll do better to keep it in your head that God is too cool for him!

There's nobody - other than you - happier about your ten, working on eleven days than me, and I know it ain't been easy, but keep your head somewhere near sea level.

We all forget. Most of us, most of the time: that victory was won for us

 

[madison1101]

This precious weekend is all about how I desperately messed up my life because I was gullible enough to fall for Satan's lies, and how God provided me with a way up and out of the mess my life became because of my poor choices. I am nothing, without God. I must constantly empty myself, because my pride just will trip me up in a minute.

I have only come to realize, after 19 years in AA, and over 8 years without a drink one time, and 6 years without a drink another time, that I can't stop once I start. YET, I am still very, very vulnerable to drinking, as testified in my previous post. I wanted a drink. I looked at the bottles. I even touched one to see the price. All the while, I heard myself saying, "You can start over tomorrow." Lies, lies, lies. I could be dead tomorrow. Or, in prison.

The first step is very simple for me, yet I can forget it it easier than I forget to follow the speed limit. Paraphrased by my rehab therapist it goes like this: I can't stop drinking once I start, AND, when I drink bad things happen. It has been three months today since my last drink, YET, I am not celebrating an anniversary because I did some drug seeking a few weeks ago, and got Vicodins at the ER to avoid drinking alcohol. MY sponsor gave me the option of deciding whether or not to change my sobriety date. After a week of agonizing, I fessed up to going to the ER, and decided that I needed to change the date in order to be totally honest with myself.

I am not cool at all. I am a hopeless alcoholic in need of the Holy Spirit's power to prevent me from ever picking up another drink or drug.

 

[BlessEwe]

Lord Bless you all this Easter

Glory to God and praise Him, coming to earth to show us that we can live sober and defeat the enemies power over us. We are children of God, and through God ( not the world) we can live through life knowing He is with us 100%no matter what.

Christs sufferings and severe pain opened the doors of life for us, He died so we may live

His gentle Hand moved pulled me out of the destruction I got myself into, like a lost lamb being carried over the Shepard's shoulder to safety again.

 

[Bellicus]

Hey, Happy birthday!

I can't say much useful right now, but at least I know that wanting to have something to drink is actually a lot better to be drinking.

 

[TheMainException]

There was no forgetting in that post, Bob (nice new pic btw). The very fact that in one instant, I was sitting in the midst of people I didn't know with a few I had just met in the past week, crying my eyes out when, one at a time, people prayed for me. I had three random people pray for me. Only one of which did I tell what I actually needed prayer for. Finally, I went to the guy who had spoken that night, the guy who had been addicted to everything he could get his hands on for 22 years and was now free for four and a half years and he prayed for me. By the time I left that barn church, I knew I was done.

How could I claim victory by my own hands when I did nothing but drink myself into stupors, stagger with a cigarette across a dry and tobacco-prohibited campus, lie in bed too high too move, and barely talk to God enough to prove to anyone I actually love Him? The list of faults is higher than the sky, deeper than the sea. I'd surely have drowned had a miracle not saved me. The victory is OURS and I am the victor, but it is not because I have done anything more than come to His feet and cry for His kingdom within me to grow too large for any other thing to stay.

I had a dream last night that I drank. I was later very upset about it (while sleeping). When I read "your ten, working on eleven days" I got upset momentarily trying to figure out if I had really had something to drink. Scary.

And, I am indeed too cool for little old Satan, as a child of the King, I have every right to scorn him and wrap my arms around Daddy's legs and call that loser a fool. And I think I just might. The only reason I'm too cool though, is simpy cuz I hang out with the Dude who created cool.

Madison....read what I just wrote in this post above, as I read your post below mine, I realized this was for you. You can be free of true addiction. God can wipe it from you. Satan still whispers to me...but the true thirst is gone. In two years, I'm finally able to say no and mean it. I believe that God wants to deliver us all from our own personally hells that we have created for ourselves. God will bash those thoughts. Pray in thanksgiving, not in war. The war has been fought and won, these are just the dying thrashings of an army of disease and death. You are free indeed, don't forget it. God's with you helping you out and you know it. Keep it up.

 

[BobW188]

I had a lot of drinking dreams in the early days, and still a few each year. Some are just reminders of our vulnerability but if you pay attention to what else you're doing in the dream, you can get clues on how you're acting "just like the old days."

Just keep it in perspective, gal.

 

[TheMainException]

Oh I will. Saw the dude I spoke of in my last post again last night. He's incredible. Most amazing person I may have ever met. When I see people like that, with Daddy inside of them...I want to be just like that...I want people to see how much Daddy loves them...just like he showed me in the three times I've seen him speak. So much encouragement, so much love...oh man. Guys...we are amazing. How could we not see it before? How could we let the evil one make us so blind? It's true...He does love us.

 

[madison1101]

There was no forgetting in that post, Bob (nice new pic btw). The very fact that in one instant, I was sitting in the midst of people I didn't know with a few I had just met in the past week, crying my eyes out when, one at a time, people prayed for me. I had three random people pray for me. Only one of which did I tell what I actually needed prayer for. Finally, I went to the guy who had spoken that night, the guy who had been addicted to everything he could get his hands on for 22 years and was now free for four and a half years and he prayed for me. By the time I left that barn church, I knew I was done.

How could I claim victory by my own hands when I did nothing but drink myself into stupors, stagger with a cigarette across a dry and tobacco-prohibited campus, lie in bed too high too move, and barely talk to God enough to prove to anyone I actually love Him? The list of faults is higher than the sky, deeper than the sea. I'd surely have drowned had a miracle not saved me. The victory is OURS and I am the victor, but it is not because I have done anything more than come to His feet and cry for His kingdom within me to grow too large for any other thing to stay.

I had a dream last night that I drank. I was later very upset about it (while sleeping). When I read "your ten, working on eleven days" I got upset momentarily trying to figure out if I had really had something to drink. Scary.

And, I am indeed too cool for little old Satan, as a child of the King, I have every right to scorn him and wrap my arms around Daddy's legs and call that loser a fool. And I think I just might. The only reason I'm too cool though, is simpy cuz I hang out with the Dude who created cool.

Madison....read what I just wrote in this post above, as I read your post below mine, I realized this was for you. You can be free of true addiction. God can wipe it from you. Satan still whispers to me...but the true thirst is gone. In two years, I'm finally able to say no and mean it. I believe that God wants to deliver us all from our own personally hells that we have created for ourselves. God will bash those thoughts. Pray in thanksgiving, not in war. The war has been fought and won, these are just the dying thrashings of an army of disease and death. You are free indeed, don't forget it. God's with you helping you out and you know it. Keep it up.

There were plenty of times when I thought and truly believed I was done drinking. No urges, no temptations, no desire whatsoever. I would then stop going to meetings, and stop contacting my sponsor and stop thinking I needed to do anything to work my program. Alcoholism is insidious. It waits patiently, just like the Enemy who uses it to trip us up. Once it took me three years before I picked up my first drink, and I had been sober for over 8 years. I stopped going to AA meetings, and the disease waited for three years before I got tempted and gave in. Then, it took three more years before I realized I needed to go back to AA. This last time, I only stopped going to AA and working my steps for three weeks, before my first drink. This time, It took me longer and longer just to get three months without a drink together.

Do not be deceived. Alcoholism is cunning, baffling and powerful, and will wait patiently. I keep going to AA to remind me that I am powerless over alcohol. I am also powerless over Satan. I can only resist temptation with Christ's power in me. If I try to do things on my own strength, I am doomed.

God bless.

Trish

 

[TheMainException]

There were plenty of times when I thought and truly believed I was done drinking. No urges, no temptations, no desire whatsoever. I would then stop going to meetings, and stop contacting my sponsor and stop thinking I needed to do anything to work my program. Alcoholism is insidious. It waits patiently, just like the Enemy who uses it to trip us up. Once it took me three years before I picked up my first drink, and I had been sober for over 8 years. I stopped going to AA meetings, and the disease waited for three years before I got tempted and gave in. Then, it took three more years before I realized I needed to go back to AA. This last time, I only stopped going to AA and working my steps for three weeks, before my first drink. This time, It took me longer and longer just to get three months without a drink together.

Do not be deceived. Alcoholism is cunning, baffling and powerful, and will wait patiently. I keep going to AA to remind me that I am powerless over alcohol. I am also powerless over Satan. I can only resist temptation with Christ's power in me. If I try to do things on my own strength, I am doomed.

God bless.

Trish

I agree with you. But unlike so many, I am healed. I'm cleared. My name has been removed from the alcoholism/drug addiction list. I have no power over alcohol. Christ, living within me, is the one who claims power over it. I'm free because of him. The disease that was passed on to me has been cured for me. Not many find the cure, but many find treatment. I don't know how the difference can be made since it is the same Spirit living within all of us in His body. But for me, I am free of the curse. I believe that and I know it is so. 13 whole days of freedom. Watch the rest of my life and it will be freedom. I will watch carefully for signs of its return and will be alert even until the end. I will not end up like my father or my mother or my brother. By the power of Christ within me, I will reign over it as His tiny child reigning over a rattle snake, protected by a mighty Spirit shield. I am His and I am free.

 

[madison1101]

I agree with you. But unlike so many, I am healed. I'm cleared. My name has been removed from the alcoholism/drug addiction list. I have no power over alcohol. Christ, living within me, is the one who claims power over it. I'm free because of him. The disease that was passed on to me has been cured for me. Not many find the cure, but many find treatment. I don't know how the difference can be made since it is the same Spirit living within all of us in His body. But for me, I am free of the curse. I believe that and I know it is so. 13 whole days of freedom. Watch the rest of my life and it will be freedom. I will watch carefully for signs of its return and will be alert even until the end. I will not end up like my father or my mother or my brother. By the power of Christ within me, I will reign over it as His tiny child reigning over a rattle snake, protected by a mighty Spirit shield. I am His and I am free.

I do believe that God heals some of His children of any and all diseases. I also believe that He allows others to have the diseases to teach others about Him. Alcoholism is not just an emotional illness. It has a physical, genetic, biological component in the brain. I pray for you, because I am not sure you totally understand alcoholism, or just how insidious this disease is, and how the enemy uses it.

God bless.
Trish

 

[TheMainException]

I do believe that God heals some of His children of any and all diseases. I also believe that He allows others to have the diseases to teach others about Him. Alcoholism is not just an emotional illness. It has a physical, genetic, biological component in the brain. I pray for you, because I am not sure you totally understand alcoholism, or just how insidious this disease is, and how the enemy uses it.

God bless.
Trish

I do not ask you to stop praying for me...I thank you deeply. But I know alcoholism is pure trickery. I've seen how it works through my father, my mother, and now my brother. I've seen how some drink because they like it and can't stop, some drink because they hate themselves, some because of past hurt, some to escape. I'm a mix of all of that, or I was anyway. I had it all in me. The genes were set up, Satan was against me (I have a huge destiny, he has a whole pack of wolves on me instead of just one little demon, I know it, I've seen them work individually and together, it's hideous), social factors were playing their part. What Jesus Christ has healed me of IS the biological portion. He has healed me of that. Otherwise, I'd still want it more than ever. I have two alcoholic parents. I had a 20% chance of not having the missing chemical in my body. I lacked the chemical, bam, I went straight down the alcoholic path, starting with salvia, then pot, then alcohol, then DXM and purchasing as many drugs as I could which my mom found and threw out. I study chemicals, addictions, psychology, and the mind for FUN and for my degree. It's what I do. I've watched chemicals suck people up and I've watched them spit the people back out...some make it out alive, some just barely, and others not at all. I've seen it work it's way within me. I've felt the vile claws grapple for my soul. In my weakest and most shameful point, I knew I needed help and by the grace of God was led to the room of my friend who prayed for me and dumped my alcohol. He got me where I needed to be the next night where I entered into Kingdom salvation and received healing from the curse.

Jesus healed everyone who was brought to him or came to him. They never left lacking or broken. They were always made whole. God does not leave some people still struggling because he wants them as a testament to others. You can be cured. This is no Job story. This is a Jesus story..and Jesus always healed everyone while he walked the earth. His Spirit walks the earth and that means that His people need to return to that place of entire healing. It can happen if His people move into that revelation. I hope that people come into your life with that revelation. I want to see AA's cleared out and the old alcoholics running up and down the streets praising God and clearing out bars. That's my dream. I thank God for sending the right people into my life at the right time. He sent the perfect saved and cured addict to the right place on the right night and He got me there to be received back into wholeness. I believe everyone can be cured, not just some.

 

[madison1101]

I do not ask you to stop praying for me...I thank you deeply. But I know alcoholism is pure trickery. I've seen how it works through my father, my mother, and now my brother. I've seen how some drink because they like it and can't stop, some drink because they hate themselves, some because of past hurt, some to escape. I'm a mix of all of that, or I was anyway. I had it all in me. The genes were set up, Satan was against me (I have a huge destiny, he has a whole pack of wolves on me instead of just one little demon, I know it, I've seen them work individually and together, it's hideous), social factors were playing their part. What Jesus Christ has healed me of IS the biological portion. He has healed me of that. Otherwise, I'd still want it more than ever. I have two alcoholic parents. I had a 20% chance of not having the missing chemical in my body. I lacked the chemical, bam, I went straight down the alcoholic path, starting with salvia, then pot, then alcohol, then DXM and purchasing as many drugs as I could which my mom found and threw out. I study chemicals, addictions, psychology, and the mind for FUN and for my degree. It's what I do. I've watched chemicals suck people up and I've watched them spit the people back out...some make it out alive, some just barely, and others not at all. I've seen it work it's way within me. I've felt the vile claws grapple for my soul. In my weakest and most shameful point, I knew I needed help and by the grace of God was led to the room of my friend who prayed for me and dumped my alcohol. He got me where I needed to be the next night where I entered into Kingdom salvation and received healing from the curse.

Jesus healed everyone who was brought to him or came to him. They never left lacking or broken. They were always made whole. God does not leave some people still struggling because he wants them as a testament to others. You can be cured. This is no Job story. This is a Jesus story..and Jesus always healed everyone while he walked the earth. His Spirit walks the earth and that means that His people need to return to that place of entire healing. It can happen if His people move into that revelation. I hope that people come into your life with that revelation. I want to see AA's cleared out and the old alcoholics running up and down the streets praising God and clearing out bars. That's my dream. I thank God for sending the right people into my life at the right time. He sent the perfect saved and cured addict to the right place on the right night and He got me there to be received back into wholeness. I believe everyone can be cured, not just some.

Why did not God heal Paul of his thorn?

 

[TheMainException]

We don't know what Paul's thorn was. But as an example of Jesus...I see no place where He didn't heal a person. Paul's thorn could have been a person, it could have been healed before he died, he might not have asked, it might not have been as much of a thorn as we think it was in the bad sense but something he continually thought of or tried to improve. Because we don't know what it was, I can't answer that. I take only the example of Jesus when it comes to healing.

 

[madison1101]

We don't know what Paul's thorn was. But as an example of Jesus...I see no place where He didn't heal a person. Paul's thorn could have been a person, it could have been healed before he died, he might not have asked, it might not have been as much of a thorn as we think it was in the bad sense but something he continually thought of or tried to improve. Because we don't know what it was, I can't answer that. I take only the example of Jesus when it comes to healing.

I know many Christian women and men who have loved the Lord, and sought healing for cancer, yet died due to the disease. If they came to Jesus for healing, why were they not healed? I believe that God is soverign and heals who He chooses, while allowing others to not be healed for His greater glory. Romans 8:28 says that "All things work together for good," not some.

If God does not heal all cancer patients who come to Christ and seek His healing, then I am safe in assuming that not all alcoholics will be healed of the disease of alcoholism as well.

Trish

 

[BlessEwe]

One wonderful man comes to mind right now, the director of City Team ( Christian outreach) mens program.

He lived on the streets homeless for years addicted to meth, his testimony is heartbreaking what happened to him.

God brought him into a recovery program to heal and work on why he did drugs in the first place. He worked very hard for a few years, and worked his way up through the latter and is now very strong in his recovery. He feels God healed him, but it also took a lot of working on himself and his own character defects the things that bring him down, and would still bring him down today. He is a director now reaching many men.

There are also many who stop, but never work on their character defects... These people are called dry drunks because they still do the things they did while drunk... but not actually drink or use drugs.

Being in recovery not only supports the person, but it works on the whole being.
Spiritual, Mental, and Physical

If one of these is missing a relapse is very possible, or they live unbalanced.

God can move mountains, and some do heal. Just like Madison said Paul had a thorn... I actually used that one to keep using drugs..lol saying well Paul had a thorn, so can I.. Thats addict self talk, and kept me in my disease.
Madison is right, God does not heal everyone. So with that I work hard on my recovery with the grace of God because if I use again it could very well be the end of my life. A life that God wants to use to help others suffering and sharing my testimony.

 

[TheMainException]

I'm not going to debate you as to whether or not God heals all people because the evidence of Jesus is all I'm looking at. The evidence of what is seen is that no...not everyone is healed...but that's not to say that God doesn't want all people to be healed. I am healed, many are not. I've realized that God has a desire to heal all people and not just some. I used to believe in the "wounded healer." Now I believed in the once wounded, now healed healer. Can't I do more as a healed human than a broken one? Absolutely. If I am healed of alcoholism, walking into a bar is no longer an issue because I am not compelled to drink. I can go in there and talk with people about God's wonderful gifts and not ever drink a drop or be constantly attacked by the rows of hard liquor lining the walls and the labels of beer on tap and the smell of alcohol and cigs lingering through the air. Most of those who are in treatment can't go near alcohol without fear of relapse. I refuse to stand in that place.

Why aren't some people healed? I don't know. I'm not big on lying to myself or anyone else and I don't think I'm lying to myself or you when I say I'm cured. I hate liars and would hate myself for lying. I tend to take everything and evaluate the claim, analysis the truth and lies and everything that is said or prayed. Psychology has nothing on this one...I can't work it so that it works out in favor of mind over matter. Mind's are powerful things, but God's got one up on it....cuz, he created it.

Not everyone is healed...I'm not sure why. But I promise you...you'll start seeing more and more people healed of addictions in radical ways in the near future.

Blessewe: darn right...we are created in the image of God, we are three parts and all need to be taken care of as we grow closer towards perfection.

 

[TheMainException]

I went over to a friend's place tonight to watch movies. He respects my sobriety and is happy for me, but drinks while I'm around. I'm not sure why, but I haven't confronted him about it. I started to stare down the wine he had left sitting on the counter and realized that I had a choice to give in to the feelings of "I need to have that" or to know that it's just a giant lie...staring down the glass of wine and thinking myself into a spiral is just going to return me to a place I have been rescued from.

I think, second to God, one of the biggest reasons for me to not drink and to want such a thing is because of my friend who started the ball rolling and got me help. It means a lot to me for him to have helped me out and it's important to me that I am able to tell him honestly how many days I've been straight edge. It's that extra boost when the sweet smell of wine drifts towards my nose. I'm able to resist and not think about it again. Not thinking about it again is one of the biggest awesomeness factors...

 

[BobW188]

Accountability like that is a big plus; and it's a chief reason solo attempts usually fail. We tend to look on the expectations, even the hopes of others for us as a burden and an imposition; but under the right circumstances they are a motivator.

Still, approach situations like that with great caution. Get his feedback on it, and also that of your fellow church members and the former addict. It won't always be as easy as it was this time.

 

[BlessEwe]

Except for my own home, I can not expect others not to drink around me. So I have to pick safe places for myself, especially in the begining.
Relapse is tricky, we can be in the mode for along time before we actually use. Watching someone drink can get the ball rolling, so keep that in mind if you continue to hang with others who use, it may be setting you up in your subconscious part of the brain. The only defense we have is to keep our conscious part of the brain focused on recovery and safe people.