Too Picky?

[keith99]

I think they should ask for your IQ too Really why worry about the physical so much...does it really matter what they look like if you click?

Meh,

I'll judge their IQ by their posts. And for that matter learn a lot about their character.

In a way the physical is all that is left to be concerned about when it comes to fears about a shock upon meeting, especially if one counts wealth and the like as part of physical.

One may eventually learn the character projected is false, but it is doubtful that will be obvious upon meeting.

Ironically the very first person I met as an individual from online was from a site where there were check off lists for the physical. We had both checked off 'Carrying a few extra pounds'. We both had been honest. We were both concerned the other one might be lying or fooling themself. We both laughed over it.

 

[sisbarn70]

I've met a few that were very intelligent, but were lacking in...mmm for want of a better word social graces. Meaning they were smart enough to be interesting but they talked too much about their previous life (wealth, old flames, or how special everyone else found them to be). Leave something for the prospective date to discover

 

[akgrandma]

what in the world is going on…I've been on a couple of Christian singles sites & nobody trusts anyone or…as you said, expectations are so unreal that nobody human is going to fulfill needs expected. I AM human with human hurts, needs & wonder if God is telling me that all I need is him. That is fine with me & I've praying long for an answer. God never intended for us to be lonely. Have I been single for too long? Is there someone out there meant for me to spend the rest of my life with? Let Us Pray…...

 

[BlessedLYT]

So I am wondering just how picky people are. Christians specifically. I finally put myself on an online dating site. No one will respond to me except non-Christian guys (even though I wrote that I was specifically looking for a Christian guy). Kind of funny. Not! And the one or two Christian guys that I have briefly talked to have vanished without so much as a word...

It's like they want someone perfect? I don't know. When I look at profiles it's like they want a girl to be everything: cook, clean, give them kids....but you better be attractive (meaning slender/athletic and model!), be into sports and every other activity that they do....blah blah blah. I consider myself to be a well-rounded individual and many of these things. Yet, I just can't help but wonder if people are just too picky? Or Christians? I hate saying this because I am a Christian. In the past I was WAY too picky but have come to my senses (Somewhat, lol). I'm sorry but I can't help but thinking that Christians are more picky than non-Christians, and sometimes less forgiving. We each have our deal breakers, but in the end we have all sinned and if we are saved by God...

I just don't get what I am doing wrong. Or maybe it's just God saying this is not my time.

I think what each of us need to come to grips that this does not mean that we are unwanted, or that we are unloved. It means that it is not the right time, or that perhaps a relationship is not best for us. Letting God hold the pieces is often difficult.

Those men sound petty. Really petty. So lets first thank God for protecting you from their nonsense. Thank You YHWH! I can only speak for me. I am not picky. Love God. Love me. Everything esle will fall in place if a man really loves God he will love as God says love and obey God's command.

 

[BlessedLYT]

what in the world is going on…I've been on a couple of Christian singles sites & nobody trusts anyone or…as you said, expectations are so unreal that nobody human is going to fulfill needs expected. I is not for everyone. M human with human hurts, needs & wonder if God is telling me that all I need is him. That is fine with me & I've praying long for an answer. God never intended for us to be lonely. Have I been single for too long? Is there someone out there meant for me to spend the rest of my life with? Let Us Pray…...

People are unreal with themselves sometimes so it is just a matter of fact that they will except something unreal from the next person. Most people lie on those sites just like they lie to themselves and expect the most. I thought about going to a dating site but everything is not for everyone. I will be super let down if a Christian ask for nudes talking about that is how life is. Life is real i must not be bout that life.

 

[blackribbon]

I have looked at the dating websites but it feels too much like "shopping" for a mate. A person is so much more than a list of pros and cons although I do believe that an awareness of these things is important when actually deciding whether or not to enter into a relationship with someone...however, they miss out totally on the "human connection". I am also realizing that most of us really don't know what we are looking for...we have this unrealistic list of how our needs need to be met but a successful marriage isn't about "what is in it for me". It is about mutually agreeing to attempt to meet the other person's needs without measuring it against how our needs are being met. It is about loving and not about being loved...though I'd never marry someone whom I didn't believe loved me as much as I loved him.

I also have realized that the men I have loved in my life never look anything like what I think I want. On the surface, my husband looked like a horrible mis-match but it turns out he was exactly what I needed. It wasn't easy but it in someways it was because we belonged together. I can guarantee, I would never have picked him off a website and he wouldn't have picked me either. The friendship side came first and with that a love that even the hardest times never broke. I need the human side first to date because most of the men I have dated for a period of time and grown to care about or even love definitely have flaws...and so do I. Sometimes the real list isn't a grocery list of good and bad but rather how your own flaws interact with someone else's to either minimize the other's flaws or maybe even turn a flaw into a strength.

 

[Messy]

Being “picky” is immature, but on the other hand I believe that there are certain deal breakers out there. And by “deal breakers” I'm mainly referring to whether or not a person behaves like a Christian. If a person is superficial and vain, disinterested in the Bible, manipulative, violent, flirtatious with other people, etc, then I'd steer away from that person.

Yes

 

[RedDragon4444]

not for sale.

 

[GQ Chris]

 

[sisbarn70]

Lol that's not always true...sometimes the women are scary too lol