Too Picky?

[Texas101]

The longer and more detailed the list, the fewer the available candidates. One of the problems encountered by many singles is not being able to find "the one". They tend to look outward for the reason why and fail to realize that maybe the problem is within.

 

[AwesomeSock]

Maybe we're picky, but when we find each other it'll be wonderful.

 

[CCHIPSS]

The longer and more detailed the list, the fewer the available candidates. One of the problems encountered by many singles is not being able to find "the one". They tend to look outward for the reason why and fail to realize that maybe the problem is within.

Sometimes one have to look at their list and say "So let's say I do find someone like this. What will their list look like? What will they be looking for? Do I have what it takes to attract someone like this?"

 

[RedDragon4444]

I find all this list making to be shallow and offensive.

 

[ReesePiece23]

Here's a thought. It's not necessarily accurate, but it's worth consideration.

Pickyiness in this case, could just be procrastination in disguise. You're picky because you're searching for an excuse to justify why you're single. The anxiety of getting into a relationship is the REAL road block, not because someone has a few 'ideals' out of place.

If that provoked a reaction, ask yourself why.

 

[Ubuntu]

Being “picky” is immature, but on the other hand I believe that there are certain deal breakers out there. And by “deal breakers” I'm mainly referring to whether or not a person behaves like a Christian. If a person is superficial and vain, disinterested in the Bible, manipulative, violent, flirtatious with other people, etc, then I'd steer away from that person.

 

[sisbarn70]

I try to view online dating as an opportunity to meet new people. You just have to remember there are always going to be people that portray themselves in a better light. Oh...and people rarely read your profile...so put something ridiculous in there just for fun

 

[MehGuy]

Online profiles ask for your height.. Why not your weight? If women need number data for finding men, then men need number data too.

 

[sisbarn70]

I think they should ask for your IQ too Really why worry about the physical so much...does it really matter what they look like if you click?

 

[MehGuy]

I think they should ask for your IQ too Really why worry about the physical so much...does it really matter what they look like if you click?

IQ is fine. I'm not sure what you're implying but I'm not lacking in that area.

As far as weight goes, many women can be tricky about it. While they can lie about their number (like men can lie about their height) I do feel like it would nudge some people to be a little more honest. Being a short guy, listing your height can be daunting, and if I must suffer others should too.

If women can be shallow and it's ok, then we men can be too.

 

[sisbarn70]

Sorry was being facetious. My real point is don't bank on people being truthful in their profiles... Who wouldn't use the opportunity to take their stick figure personality into a Picasso? Until you really talk to and meet a person you're never going to know what a gem they are

 

[MehGuy]

Sorry was being facetious. My real point is don't bank on people being truthful in their profiles... Who wouldn't use the opportunity to take their stick figure personality into a Picasso? Until you really talk to and meet a person you're never going to know what a gem they are

Nah. I've had too many girls view me as dirt for my height to do anything like turn the other cheek to them.

People lie on their profiles sure, but I think that asking things like weight would put a little more pressure on people being a little more honest about their figure.

 

[sisbarn70]

I doubt it...ever been shopping with a lady? I've caught myself thinking I'm a size smaller than I am and having to face some harsh truths in the dressing room lol. Sometimes it takes a dose of reality to make us see the light. That being said I'd never exaggerate my weight or post an old pic of myself either. Others may not be so comfortable with that.

 

[MehGuy]

Which is why you'd get your measurements ahead of time..

If that's not a good idea, perhaps it's not a good idea to ask for a guy's height on dating sites. I just don't see why some numbers are ok to demand, and others are not..

When we need a quick summary on whether or not we need to click "skip", it needs to work both ways..

 

[sisbarn70]

You'd think I'd know my measurements before I went shopping but alas women's clothing sizes are just weird and subject to change without notice. Guess that's true of our physical appearance too sometimes. I know its not fair to be skipped over because of height, weight, ethnicity, etc. But if you're online its going to happen sometimes. I guess you just have to hope that someone out there will see value in who you are...it can happen, may take awhile but it can.

 

[RedDragon4444]

Date the hot girls. I noticed a trend. The better the girl felt about her own looks, the better she felt of my looks. Girls who don't feel good about their own looks seemed to always think their SO's were settled for and not as good.

 

[keith99]

The longer and more detailed the list, the fewer the available candidates. One of the problems encountered by many singles is not being able to find "the one". They tend to look outward for the reason why and fail to realize that maybe the problem is within.

That rather depends if the list is a bunch of traits you like (or dislike) or a list of must have (or not have).

Yuo are right if one wants 100% of the list. If instead someone thinks of 90% as am 'A', 80% as a 'B' and 70% as a 'C' length does not matter. Oh and C means passing, worth talking to and giving them a chance to show traits not on the list or to show adjustments you missed.

For example if 'Must love football' is a guy's list it just might be that he finds out that liking to host events means she is quite happy throwing a great spread for big games and her 'liking to cuddle with her man' happens to work for her, even if he is watching the game. Or he might learn that has to love football really is not what he wanted, accepting that he loves football is what he really needs.

 

[Raiyuu]

So I am wondering just how picky people are. Christians specifically. I finally put myself on an online dating site. No one will respond to me except non-Christian guys (even though I wrote that I was specifically looking for a Christian guy). Kind of funny. Not! And the one or two Christian guys that I have briefly talked to have vanished without so much as a word...

It's like they want someone perfect? I don't know. When I look at profiles it's like they want a girl to be everything: cook, clean, give them kids....but you better be attractive (meaning slender/athletic and model!), be into sports and every other activity that they do....blah blah blah. I consider myself to be a well-rounded individual and many of these things. Yet, I just can't help but wonder if people are just too picky? Or Christians? I hate saying this because I am a Christian. In the past I was WAY too picky but have come to my senses (Somewhat, lol). I'm sorry but I can't help but thinking that Christians are more picky than non-Christians, and sometimes less forgiving. We each have our deal breakers, but in the end we have all sinned and if we are saved by God...

I just don't get what I am doing wrong. Or maybe it's just God saying this is not my time.

I think what each of us need to come to grips that this does not mean that we are unwanted, or that we are unloved. It means that it is not the right time, or that perhaps a relationship is not best for us. Letting God hold the pieces is often difficult.

Lol to the wanting the perfect woman who cooks, cleans, etc.
It reminds me of this video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JlXha9KdxW0

 

[MehGuy]

As people grow older they get less picky.

Go after the 40-50 year olds.

 

[sisbarn70]

Sometimes it's all about developing friendships and timing too. I've done my share of online dating and have made a few good friends that way. Sometimes you just have to take that and not worry about the rest. The older I get I'm starting to realize that maybe I've spent too much time worrying about dating, when maybe there were other things that needed my attention.