Too cowardly to save

[TenthAveN]

Over the past four years I’ve struggled. There have been several cycles of me thinking I’m finally saved, having every intention to tell someone about Jesus, then fail miserably, and eventually just go my own way. Then after a few months (or even a whole year) I suddenly remember that the rapture is near, and that I need to return. So then the cycle begins anew, and I fail every time because I’m a coward.

I want to be saved, I don’t want to be a coward anymore, and my only reason for following God is fear of hell, and I don’t know how to change my image of God. We must be willing to follow Jesus if we are going to ask for forgiveness, right? How can I freely give my life if I feel like I have no other choice but to do so, and I’d gladly continue on sinning if there were no consequences? There’s been times that I’ve been so afraid of hell that I’ve hoped God wasn’t real. I feel like I’m the worst person to every exist, and I also feel like God has stopped talking to me, and said ‘I’m done.’ My prayers feel empty, and I feel hopeless.

Any advice is welcome, as are prayers, if it’s even possible to pray for me anymore.

 

[HTacianas]

Over the past four years I’ve struggled. There have been several cycles of me thinking I’m finally saved, having every intention to tell someone about Jesus, then fail miserably, and eventually just go my own way. Then after a few months (or even a whole year) I suddenly remember that the rapture is near, and that I need to return. So then the cycle begins anew, and I fail every time because I’m a coward.

I want to be saved, I don’t want to be a coward anymore, and my only reason for following God is fear of hell, and I don’t know how to change my image of God. We must be willing to follow Jesus if we are going to ask for forgiveness, right? How can I freely give my life if I feel like I have no other choice but to do so, and I’d gladly continue on sinning if there were no consequences? There’s been times that I’ve been so afraid of hell that I’ve hoped God wasn’t real. I feel like I’m the worst person to every exist, and I also feel like God has stopped talking to me, and said ‘I’m done.’ My prayers feel empty, and I feel hopeless.

Any advice is welcome, as are prayers, if it’s even possible to pray for me anymore.

You say that you have every intention of telling someone about Jesus but then you don't. My first question for you is "why are you doing that"?

 

[TenthAveN]

You say that you have every intention of telling someone about Jesus but then you don't. My first question for you is "why are you doing that"?

Like I said, I just get scared. I play my Christian music out loud hoping that somebody will strike up a conversation with me, but it doesn’t pan out like that.

 

[HTacianas]

Like I said, I just get scared. I play my Christian music out loud hoping that somebody will strike up a conversation with me, but it doesn’t pan out like that.

I think I confused you with the wording of my question. Why is it that you are out telling people about Jesus? That was my question, and not why do you stop.

 

[TenthAveN]

I think I confused you with the wording of my question. Why is it that you are out telling people about Jesus? That was my question, and not why do you stop.

Because I feel like if I don’t, my faith isn’t genuine, and I’m just fooling myself. Or that God will be angry at me if I don’t.

 

[HTacianas]

Because I feel like if I don’t, my faith isn’t genuine, and I’m just fooling myself. Or that God will be angry at me if I don’t.

The only requirement you'll find in the bible for a layman in that regard is "...always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you...", see 1 Peter 3:15.

 

[TenthAveN]

The only requirement you'll find in the bible for a layman in that regard is "...always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you...", see 1 Peter 3:15.

But we’re supposed to let our light shine before men. If anyone asked me if Jesus is the Son of God (or put in terms they’d understand, Jesus is God, the Messiah, that He died as a propitiation for the sins of the world, and whosoever should believe in Him will not perish, but have everlasting life, I would not deny it. My problem is initiating the conversation. I think being an introvert is a poor excuse, but I definitely am one.

 

[HTacianas]

But we’re supposed to let our light shine before men. If anyone asked me if Jesus is the Son of God (or put in terms they’d understand, Jesus is God, the Messiah, that He died as a propitiation for the sins of the world, and whosoever should believe in Him will not perish, but have everlasting life, I would not deny it. My problem is initiating the conversation. I think being an introvert is a poor excuse, but I definitely am one.

Letting your light shine before men is here:

Mat 5:16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.

It means to do good works. And those works are to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, etc., see Matthew 25:31-46. When people see you doing those things they will give thanks to God for it. Note the stern warning at the end for people who don't do those things.

 

[Sabertooth]

@TenthAveN, you can leave tracts around. I used to leave them around IRL and, now, I include them in my web pages & profiles, including secular interests.

 

[friend of]

I feel the same. Like I'm a coward. I freeze up when the opportunity to present the gospel arises. I'm thinking "what if they get offended?" Or "what if what I say doesn't make sense?" If someone were to initiate the conversation about spiritual things, I would certainly defend my faith and tell them I belong to Christ. It just feels like I'm not doing enough for God.

But then it is not so much what we do for God, but what He has done for us.

We all have the ability to serve in some capacity, no matter how small. Just pray and meditate and ask God what you could be doing. For me, I just bought a bunch of tracts and I leave them in the foyer at my workplace. It's not much, but if I do that for a number of years maybe, hopefully, someone who needs it will get the message and reflect on their spiritual life and come to faith. God provides the growth. We scatter the seed.

Blessings

 

[TenthAveN]

I feel the same. Like I'm a coward. I freeze up when the opportunity to present the gospel arises. I'm thinking "what if they get offended?" Or "what if what I say doesn't make sense?" If someone were to initiate the conversation about spiritual things, I would certainly defend my faith and tell them I belong to Christ. It just feels like I'm not doing enough for God.

But then it is not so much what we do for God, but what He has done for us.

We all have the ability to serve in some capacity, no matter how small. Just pray and meditate and ask God what you could be doing. For me, I just bought a bunch of tracts and I leave them in the foyer at my workplace. It's not much, but if I do that for a number of years maybe, hopefully, someone who needs it will get the message and reflect on their spiritual life and come to faith. God provides the growth. We scatter the seed.

Blessings

I’ve started reading my Bible in the break room at work. Started today, in fact. I really hope something will come of it. Thanks for the advice

 

[timewerx]

Like I said, I just get scared. I play my Christian music out loud hoping that somebody will strike up a conversation with me, but it doesn’t pan out like that.

Playing Christian music loudly might actually be a bad thing and would only annoy other people despite your good intention.

You don't need to force yourself to tell the Gospel to other people. You don't lose your salvation for not doing it.

Many churches over-hype "evangelization" maybe because the perspective is biased by strong desire to grow attendance / membership. Pastors, church leaders aren't always the authoritative knowledge in the the study of God's words. They may even lead you astray.

What's far more important than evangelization is studying God's Word. Many "able" Christians who possesses far more eagerness in sharing the Gospel than discernment usually ends up sharing half-baked truths and ends up deceiving many. Despite their good intentions.

"The road to hell is paved with many good intentions". If there's any one teaching that can be added to the Bible, I vote for that quote.

 

[TenthAveN]

Playing Christian music loudly might actually be a bad thing and would only annoy other people despite your good intention.

You don't need to force yourself to tell the Gospel to other people. You don't lose your salvation for not doing it.

Many churches over-hype "evangelization" maybe because the perspective is biased by strong desire to grow attendance / membership. Pastors, church leaders aren't always the authoritative knowledge in the the study of God's words. They may even lead you astray.

What's far more important than evangelization is studying God's Word. Many "able" Christians who possesses far more eagerness in sharing the Gospel than discernment usually ends up sharing half-baked truths and ends up deceiving many. Despite their good intentions.

"The road to hell is paved with many good intentions". If there's any one teaching that can be added to the Bible, I vote for that quote.

I don’t think it’s THAT loud, but hopefully loud enough for someone else to hear.

 

[timewerx]

I don’t think it’s THAT loud, but hopefully loud enough for someone else to hear.

It's ok to do it in some places public where people can easily get away from you if they don't like what they hear.

Otherwise, it can actually be seen as inconsiderate especially if you play the music in places you share spaces with other people. For example, your neighbors can hear the music or your roommate in a dorm room can hear it.

Annoying other people is probably not the best way to win people to Christ.

My dad won quite a few people into Christianity without evangelizing and without playing Christian music where unbelievers can hear it. Purely by good works alone and being a peacemaker in our neighborhood.

 

[Shrewd Manager]

This might surprise you, but God is good, and a god who tortures his creatures forever in no way fits that description. So your growth in faith is being disrupted by ugly theology, it's paralysing you with fear and anxiety. Plus, how can you spread that gospel if in your heart you know it's not good news?

Fear of hell is no basis for the faith. Jesus teaches that all will be salted with fire, and salt is good, so be at peace (Mk 9:49-50). The divine fire is a strange fire that destroys sin and purifies the sinner. Jesus baptises with fire and the spirit (Mt 3:11). God's ministers are flames of fire (Ps 104:4). God himself is described as a consuming fire and a refiner's fire. To be on fire for God is to have a passion for God's glory, His word, the love of the riches of His grace.

 

[Brad D.]

Over the past four years I’ve struggled. There have been several cycles of me thinking I’m finally saved, having every intention to tell someone about Jesus, then fail miserably, and eventually just go my own way. Then after a few months (or even a whole year) I suddenly remember that the rapture is near, and that I need to return. So then the cycle begins anew, and I fail every time because I’m a coward.

I want to be saved, I don’t want to be a coward anymore, and my only reason for following God is fear of hell, and I don’t know how to change my image of God. We must be willing to follow Jesus if we are going to ask for forgiveness, right? How can I freely give my life if I feel like I have no other choice but to do so, and I’d gladly continue on sinning if there were no consequences? There’s been times that I’ve been so afraid of hell that I’ve hoped God wasn’t real. I feel like I’m the worst person to every exist, and I also feel like God has stopped talking to me, and said ‘I’m done.’ My prayers feel empty, and I feel hopeless.

Any advice is welcome, as are prayers, if it’s even possible to pray for me anymore.

So I have a question for you. If all the conditions you described above remained the same except that today you finally got the courage to go out to " tell someone about Jesus " do you feel everything would change? It seems to me what I hear you saying is, " I feel like I am the worst person to ever exist, but if it wasn't for this hell thing I would gladly go out and sin as I always did. I have no true desire to follow Christ. To know Christ. To give my life to Christ. But perhaps if I could go out and tell someone about Jesus, then I would show God I have the courage to be saved. I don't really want to be saved. I just don't want to go to hell. So I wish I could show him I had enough courage to be saved so I wont have to go to hell, but then I wish He would just leave me alone and let me be."

If those conditions don't change, nothing will change, no matter how many people you tell about Jesus. I see you are single. Would you enter into a relationship with someone if they came up to you and said, "look I have no desire to be with you, but it looks as if you have some ambition and might go somewhere in your life and be able to provide me with some nice things, so here I am, look I'll go out and do a couple of nice things for you just to prove myself worthy to you, so lets get married and you can make my future secure, but just let me be after that, and know how I feel ok?" Would that be the person you would want to marry? Would you then be perplexed if that person were to come to you and say, "look what's wrong with you, why don't you answer my calls, I can never seem to get through to you."

So my prayer for you is, " Lord, I pray this young person would begin to see you anew. I pray they would begin to see their need for you anew. Let them see how selfish they have really been. Pierce them with your love precious Lord. Draw them to your Love. Then and only then will they be melted by that love. Convicted by that love. Melt their heart precious Lord. Let them weep in joyful Godly repentance. Bring them to the saving knowledge of you. Show them your nail scarred hands. Show them what it really cost you, what the fall and nature of sin has cost, show them their complete and utter need. Let them be broken at the cross by their need. Let them see the thing they have become. Show them precious Lord how deep it really goes. Let them cry the cleansing sweet tears of repentance. Let them see the thing as it really is. Then precious Lord put a passion in their heart, in your great love for them to follow you all of their days. A Mary Magdalene passion, for the mercy you have shown, for the forgiveness you have given. Not for what they get out of it, but for what you get out of it. Let them rise from that place, with no other desire, but to please you, whatever the cost, whatever the cost, all of their days. In the mighty name of Jesus I do pray."

 

[2PhiloVoid]

Over the past four years I’ve struggled. There have been several cycles of me thinking I’m finally saved, having every intention to tell someone about Jesus, then fail miserably, and eventually just go my own way. Then after a few months (or even a whole year) I suddenly remember that the rapture is near, and that I need to return. So then the cycle begins anew, and I fail every time because I’m a coward.

I want to be saved, I don’t want to be a coward anymore, and my only reason for following God is fear of hell, and I don’t know how to change my image of God. We must be willing to follow Jesus if we are going to ask for forgiveness, right? How can I freely give my life if I feel like I have no other choice but to do so, and I’d gladly continue on sinning if there were no consequences? There’s been times that I’ve been so afraid of hell that I’ve hoped God wasn’t real. I feel like I’m the worst person to every exist, and I also feel like God has stopped talking to me, and said ‘I’m done.’ My prayers feel empty, and I feel hopeless.

Any advice is welcome, as are prayers, if it’s even possible to pray for me anymore.

Do yourself a favor and don't worry about telling everyone and their aunt about Jesus. You're value as a person and as a Christian is not dependent upon whether or not, or how many, people you drop the Gospel message upon. Besides, we live in a day and age where people are not readily open and willing to hear what fundamentalist Christians of any stripe have to say and they don't expect to have to.

Just concentrate on being a caring, helpful, compassionate person, and if the Spirit leads, folks will naturally inquire about your faith in Christ. THEN, you'll have a natural rather than a forced opportunity to share your faith, Tenth.

As for sin, and being that you're single, just take it one day at a time and do your best to focus on Jesus as much as you can, brother!

 

[Brihaha]

I’ve started reading my Bible in the break room at work. Started today, in fact. I really hope something will come of it. Thanks for the advice

That could be your saving grace. Read your Bible. Thru osmosis your mind will begin to understand what is required of you. I'll tell you honestly that you are not the only person with faith who struggles occasionally. All of us struggle. Stay persistent in your faith and you will certainly be rewarded with more faith. God bless you my friend.

 

[d taylor]

Over the past four years I’ve struggled. There have been several cycles of me thinking I’m finally saved, having every intention to tell someone about Jesus, then fail miserably, and eventually just go my own way. Then after a few months (or even a whole year) I suddenly remember that the rapture is near, and that I need to return. So then the cycle begins anew, and I fail every time because I’m a coward.

I want to be saved, I don’t want to be a coward anymore, and my only reason for following God is fear of hell, and I don’t know how to change my image of God. We must be willing to follow Jesus if we are going to ask for forgiveness, right? How can I freely give my life if I feel like I have no other choice but to do so, and I’d gladly continue on sinning if there were no consequences? There’s been times that I’ve been so afraid of hell that I’ve hoped God wasn’t real. I feel like I’m the worst person to every exist, and I also feel like God has stopped talking to me, and said ‘I’m done.’ My prayers feel empty, and I feel hopeless.

Any advice is welcome, as are prayers, if it’s even possible to pray for me anymore.

-
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If you can not simply believe God's promise that anyone who trust in His Son, The Messiah (Jesus) will receive God's free gift of Eternal Life salvation. Then there is no help that can be given to you.

 

[Maria Billingsley]

Over the past four years I’ve struggled. There have been several cycles of me thinking I’m finally saved, having every intention to tell someone about Jesus, then fail miserably, and eventually just go my own way. Then after a few months (or even a whole year) I suddenly remember that the rapture is near, and that I need to return. So then the cycle begins anew, and I fail every time because I’m a coward.

I want to be saved, I don’t want to be a coward anymore, and my only reason for following God is fear of hell, and I don’t know how to change my image of God. We must be willing to follow Jesus if we are going to ask for forgiveness, right? How can I freely give my life if I feel like I have no other choice but to do so, and I’d gladly continue on sinning if there were no consequences? There’s been times that I’ve been so afraid of hell that I’ve hoped God wasn’t real. I feel like I’m the worst person to every exist, and I also feel like God has stopped talking to me, and said ‘I’m done.’ My prayers feel empty, and I feel hopeless.

Any advice is welcome, as are prayers, if it’s even possible to pray for me anymore.

Many people fear missing the rapture and use this event as the reason to believe in Jesus Christ of Nazareth. But this is building on a very weak foundation. As the dates come and go people fall away discouraged because their faith and love does not exist on His solid foundation, Love. "Love has no fear and God is Love." Go back to your first love , build a solid foundation with the Good News He has provided us and receive His Holy Spirit so He can make His home in you.
Blessings.