Too cowardly to save

[Blade]

I can guess but will say I don't truly understand what you mean "Too cowardly to save". Well that thought, desire never came from you but Him. You come exactly as you are. He does not expect you to do anything. We just know when we come to Him we have not been living right and for that past we repent. John 3:16-17 Rom 10:9-10. Then from that moment on what HE starts in you He will finish.

Again just come to Him as you are no more no less. That's it. There is no judgement no condemnation. No "never sin again". Jesus Christ is real! You will find after that .. so many things you loved to do for some odd reason you don't any more. There is NO fear in God.

 

[TenthAveN]

I can guess but will say I don't truly understand what you mean "Too cowardly to save". Well that thought, desire never came from you but Him. You come exactly as you are. He does not expect you to do anything. We just know when we come to Him we have not been living right and for that past we repent. John 3:16-17 Rom 10:9-10. Then from that moment on what HE starts in you He will finish.

Again just come to Him as you are no more no less. That's it. There is no judgement no condemnation. No "never sin again". Jesus Christ is real! You will find after that .. so many things you loved to do for some odd reason you don't any more. There is NO fear in God.

It just feels like when I try to give my life to Him, there’s something in my heart that holds me back, and when I say it it feels insincere. I feel like a hostage to my pride.

 

[Sabertooth]

It just feels like when I try to give my life to Him, there’s something in my heart that holds me back, and when I say it it feels insincere. I feel like a hostage to my pride.

(I don't remember if you answered this before.)
Are you going to church?
Have you brought this up with any counseling elder?
It could also be a form of OCD known as religious scrupulosity.

(This is assuming that you have already been Born Again...)

 

[TenthAveN]

(I don't remember if you answered this before.)
Are you going to church?
Have you brought this up with any counseling elder?
It could also be a form of OCD known as religious scrupulosity.

(This is assuming that you have already been Born Again...)

I’m unofficially diagnosed with OCD because I show symptoms of it. I’ve recently started trying to get to church on time because I always fall asleep too late.

 

[Sabertooth]

I’m unofficially diagnosed with OCD because I show symptoms of it. I’ve recently started trying to get to church on time because I always fall asleep too late.

This anxiety will continue to grow if

1. you continue to isolate yourself from church &
2. you do not seek out psychiatric treatment (not just a psychologist).

The Church & Mental Illness...

 

[FutureAndAHope]

Over the past four years I’ve struggled. There have been several cycles of me thinking I’m finally saved, having every intention to tell someone about Jesus, then fail miserably, and eventually just go my own way. Then after a few months (or even a whole year) I suddenly remember that the rapture is near, and that I need to return. So then the cycle begins anew, and I fail every time because I’m a coward.

I want to be saved, I don’t want to be a coward anymore, and my only reason for following God is fear of hell, and I don’t know how to change my image of God. We must be willing to follow Jesus if we are going to ask for forgiveness, right? How can I freely give my life if I feel like I have no other choice but to do so, and I’d gladly continue on sinning if there were no consequences? There’s been times that I’ve been so afraid of hell that I’ve hoped God wasn’t real. I feel like I’m the worst person to every exist, and I also feel like God has stopped talking to me, and said ‘I’m done.’ My prayers feel empty, and I feel hopeless.

Any advice is welcome, as are prayers, if it’s even possible to pray for me anymore.

What I would say is first you are saved by grace when you come to Christ. Not by your own effort. Telling someone about Jesus does not save you. The cross, God's offer of forgiveness saves you. Telling people is a result of growing in your walk with God. First rest in God's grace, knowing you are saved when you call upon Jesus. Then pray, daily, continually, "Thank you God for my salvation", and "God help me overcome my fears", God will help you open up to people around you.

 

[TenthAveN]

What I would say is first you are saved by grace when you come to Christ. Not by your own effort. Telling someone about Jesus does not save you. The cross, God's offer of forgiveness saves you. Telling people is a result of growing in your walk with God. First rest in God's grace, knowing you are saved when you call upon Jesus. Then pray, daily, continually, "Thank you God for my salvation", and "God help me overcome my fears", God will help you open up to people around you.

But don’t you have to be willing to follow Jesus before you can be forgiven? My will feels inconquerable

 

[Brad D.]

But don’t you have to be willing to follow Jesus before you can be forgiven? My will feels

You know TenthAveN here is the thing. Just because you are so willing to come back night after night and try and work this thing out Jesus this very night might award you that unmerited grace Even Though You have Repeated Time And Time Again You Have No Desire to Follow Him, No Desire To Really Know Him, You Simply just Don't won't to Go To Hell. HE IS who He Is and He May Just Show You that Mercy If You Ask Him tonight. But then where are you at after such Love has been shown you and you are still not moved? Conversion is one thing, but then walking out our Salvation is quiet another.

[For if we sin willfully after we have received the knowledge of the truth there no longer remains a sacrifice for our sins. But a certain fearful expectation of judgement and fiery indignation... Anyone who has rejected Moses Law dies without mercy... how much worse punishment do you suppose , will he be thought worthy who has trampled the Son of God underfoot, and counted the blood ... a common thing and insulted the Spirit of Grace.... It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God (Hebrews 10:26-31). ]

I am not trying to be harsh. I actually have much love and compassion for you and I and my family since you posted have been praying fervently for you. But if I love you in His love, then I would be remiss if I cheapened His grace to make you feel better. This thing is serious you are entering into. It means something to Him. So much more is wrapped up in it than you realize now. If He is still so willing to save you tonight remember that. And pray with all you have that He changes your heart towards Him. Do not despise His grace. With all you have consider what I am saying. If I led you in error just to make you feel better would I have really loved you. I am praying for you.

 

[TenthAveN]

You know TenthAveN here is the thing. Just because you are so willing to come back night after night and try and work this thing out Jesus this very night might award you that unmerited grace Even Though You have Repeated Time And Time Again You Have No Desire to Follow Him, No Desire To Really Know Him, You Simply just Don't won't to Go To Hell. HE IS who He Is and He May Just Show You that Mercy If You Ask Him tonight. But then where are you at after such Love has been shown you and you are still not moved? Conversion is one thing, but then walking out our Salvation is quiet another.

[For if we sin willfully after we have received the knowledge of the truth there no longer remains a sacrifice for our sins. But a certain fearful expectation of judgement and fiery indignation... Anyone who has rejected Moses Law dies without mercy... how much worse punishment do you suppose , will he be thought worthy who has trampled the Son of God underfoot, and counted the blood ... a common thing and insulted the Spirit of Grace.... It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God (Hebrews 10:26-31). ]

I am not trying to be harsh. I actually have much love and compassion for you and I and my family since you posted have been praying fervently for you. But if I love you in His love, then I would be remiss if I cheapened His grace to make you feel better. This thing is serious you are entering into. It means something to Him. So much more is wrapped up in it than you realize now. If He is still so willing to save you tonight remember that. And pray with all you have that He changes your heart towards Him. Do not despise His grace. With all you have consider what I am saying. If I led you in error just to make you feel better would I have really loved you. I am praying for you.

I appreciate you Brad, and your family. I’m not trying to go around finding somebody that’s going to tell me lies that make me feel good. I understand that it isn’t easy to be a follower of Jesus; that lukewarm isn’t an option. I see how happy other people are, even unto the point of death. They welcome death, not necessarily because they’re going to heaven, but because they’re ready to finally meet Jesus face-to-face. I want to experience that love too.

 

[Brad D.]

Then pray to Him tonight 10th. Cry out to Him. That was a beautiful repentant statement you just made. Be honest with Him, tell Him you see your need, plead with Him to soften and change your heart. This very night you just might see Him come in. I pray He will so touch you in His love You will never be the same.

 

[FutureAndAHope]

But don’t you have to be willing to follow Jesus before you can be forgiven? My will feels inconquerable

You are forgiven, then you follow Jesus. But we all have parts of our will that are hard to conquer, God does not throw us out because we are stuck in our ways. He helps us change.