to afraid to be me

[hungryman]

i have self diagnosed myself with social anxiety disorder are these symptoms?i feel like everyone i meet is judging me and that most people are better than me and i am scared of being around large groups of people.i have been suffering with this my whole life its so bad that i get my wife to talk to people like at the movie store or something i wont talk to them i will get my wife to do it because i am too afraid of what the people will think of me..it is really a burden and it has stopped me from being able to witness to people and i am really sick of it..its no fun when i am too afraid to be me

 

[goldenviolet]

how about at church or around family? do you put yourself in social settings? alot of people struggle with social issues. for me, i started trying to open up at church. i shared my nervouness with church staff. it really helped to have their encouragement. after i got comfy some i began to discover that lots of people feel the same way! there is just so much discouragement in the world. anyhow. surround yourself with God's people. we are commanded to build eachother up.

also, your age. you probly haven't heard this in a while, but you are young. we as men and women start to get more secure in who we are with age. some of your struggle may just be gone all on it's own in time.

at any rate, just know you are not alone or odd or different. you are a blessed son of God.

 

[mikeforjesus]

i have self diagnosed myself with social anxiety disorder are these symptoms?i feel like everyone i meet is judging me and that most people are better than me and i am scared of being around large groups of people.i have been suffering with this my whole life its so bad that i get my wife to talk to people like at the movie store or something i wont talk to them i will get my wife to do it because i am too afraid of what the people will think of me..it is really a burden and it has stopped me from being able to witness to people and i am really sick of it..its no fun when i am too afraid to be me

I recommed this book

http://nehemiah.gospelcom.net/shyness.htm

(be careful what you read though maybe not everything he says in the book is true... I believe Orthodox beliefs I think)

I myself I think have struggled with social anxiety and still do to some degree I think..

We are not to fear mens opinions
Ephesians 6:6 (King James Version)

6Not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart;


Some Christian monks I think on purpose did things to humilate themselves... maybe you need to get u'sed to making a fool of yourself...

Also reach much from the bible..
The more Love of God you have from spening time with Him and His word the more love you will have for others I think and you will become more concerned about other people than yourself, and this makes you less self-conscious and more Christ-conscious!

Isaiah 26:3-4 (King James Version)

3Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.


4Trust ye in the LORD for ever: for in the LORD JEHOVAH is everlasting strength:

From
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Isaiah%2026:3-4;&version=9;

Some of what I wrote I think comes from this site
http://www.thefamily.org/word/treasures/index2.php3?refid=19

 

[UnitynLove]

The Cause and Cure for Worry



Worry, feeling uneasy or troubled seems to plague multitudes of people in our world today. It is human nature to be concerned about the bad situations in our world and in our personal lives but if we're not careful, the devil will cause us to worry beyond what is reasonable. Worry is like a rocking chair, it is always in motion, but it never gets you anywhere. So why do we struggle with it...and what good does it do? Worry is the opposite of faith, and it steals our peace, physically wears us out, and can even make us sick. When we worry, we torment ourselves—we're doing the devil's job for him! Worry is caused by not trusting God to take care of the various situations in our lives. Too often we trust our own abilities, believing that we can figure out how to take care of our own problems. Yet sometimes after all our worry and effort to go it alone, we come up short, unable to bring about suitable solutions.

At a young age, I discovered firsthand that people hurt people, and so I didn't trust others. Therefore, I tried to take care of myself, deciding not to depend on anyone who would hurt or disappoint me. Too often our experiences in the world teach us this, and even after we become Christians, it takes a long time to overcome it. It is difficult to learn how to trust God, but we eventually must learn that trying to take care of everything ourselves is too big a task.

CAST YOUR CARES ON THE ONE WHO CARES FOR YOU

First Peter 5:6,7 says, Therefore humble yourselves [demote, lower yourselves in your own estimation] under the mighty hand of God, that in due time He may exalt you, casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully. Since Jesus invites us to cast all of our care and worries on Him, why do so many of us refuse to let go? Apparently, we are not yet fed up with being miserable.

The only way to have victory in our lives is to play by God's rules, and He says we must quit worrying if we want to have peace. So when things come our way that cause us to be concerned, we need God's help. How do we get it? First Peter 5:6,7 lists two important steps: 1) humble yourselves, and 2) cast your care on Him. That seems pretty clear and simple, yet some continue struggling because they are too bullheaded to ask for help. But the humble get the help. So if your way isn't working, why not try God's way? All of us would be better off if we would learn to lean on God and ask for His help. But as long as we try to do everything ourselves, God will let us. He will not take care of our problems and worries—our cares—until we turn loose of them and give them to Him. Either we are going to do it or God's going to do it, but both of us are not going to do it. Now, casting your care doesn't mean you're to be irresponsible. God will not do for you what you can do yourself. You must do what you can do and then trust God to do what you cannot do. When we humble ourselves and ask for His help, then He is able to release His power in our situations. And it is only then that we can really enjoy life. So the cure for worry is humbling ourselves before God, casting our cares on Him, and trusting Him. Instead of making ourselves miserable trying to figure everything out on our own, God wants us to place our trust in Him and enter into His rest, totally abandoning ourselves to His care. I know that when we are able to believe and say, "God, I trust You," it will literally change our lives. Psalm 37:3(KJV) says, Trust in the Lord, and do good.... God didn't create us to worry about helping ourselves all the time. He wants us to sow good seed by reaching out to help others. When we simply trust God and get busy doing the good things we know to do, then He will bring a harvest of blessings in our lives and meet our needs.

DEVELOP AN ATTITUDE OF FAITH AND PRAYER

I have learned that my attitude has a lot to do with living a worry-free life. There will always be situations that cause us concern, but with God's help, we can live above all of it and enjoy life. Cast your care on the Lord and say, "God, I trust You, and I'm going to enjoy the life You have given to me." When you give your problems to God, you must also decide to be satisfied with His answers. Trusting God to do what's best for us involves dying to self. Paul said, ...it is no longer I who live, but Christ (the Messiah) lives in me; and the life I now live in the body I live by faith in (by adherence to and reliance on and complete trust in) the Son of God, Who loved me and gave Himself up for me (Galatians 2:20). You can trust God to do what's best for you, so you don't have to worry about it. When you get a positive attitude and keep your faith in God, you cannot be defeated.

We must stop trying to make things happen the way we want them to happen and get to the place where we want to please God more than ourselves. The Christ in us has to supercede what we want. Faith and the Word of God will help you overcome worry. Worrying involves negative thoughts but speaking positive things out of your mouth will interrupt those negative thought patterns. When we are full of the Word of God, we can speak it out of our mouths in faith. Faith is stronger than doubt, negativism, and unbelief. Faith has a positive attitude that can overcome your past and lead you into a great future. Faith is a powerful force that cannot be conquered. Another powerful force is prayer. When you're under pressure, it is always best to pray about it instead of talking about it. Prayer is the blueprint for a successful life. During His time on earth, Jesus prayed. He trusted everything to God, even His reputation and life. We can do the same. We don't have to explain all the problems to Him; we can just give them to Him and ask Him to take care of everything. Don't complicate prayer just have confidence in simple, believing prayer.

Look at Paul's instructions in Philippians 4:6,7: Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition (definite requests), with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God. And God's peace [shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace] which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. If you're a Christian who goes around burdened down all the time, something is wrong. You may have had faith in Christ for salvation, but you haven't moved into walking in faith daily for the life that God has given you. The Bible tells us that God is faithful, that's one of His major characteristics. He can be counted on to come through for us, so we should trust Him totally and completely. When we do, we will be ready for anything that may come our way.

ALLOW GOD TO GIVE YOU PEACE AND REST

In Matthew 11:28, Jesus said, Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened, and I will cause you to rest. [I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls.] Jesus wants to ease our burdens and give us rest. The Message Bible says it this way: Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me, watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly (Matthew 11:28-30). That sounds good, doesn't it? I've had enough heavy stuff in my life, and I want to be free. It's nice to know that we don't have to figure out everything. We need to get comfortable with saying, "I don't have a clue, but I'm not going to worry about it because God is in control. I'm going to live free and light!" When we are overloaded with the cares of this life struggling, laboring, and worrying we need some help. Our minds need to rest from worrying about how to take care of problems. Our emotions need to rest from being upset all the time, and our wills need a rest from stubbornness and rebellion. So we need to be humble enough to call out to God and say, "I need help!" Your beginning doesn't have to dictate your ending. Get God involved in every area of your life and allow Him to lead you into rest.

WORRY OR WORSHIP?

Worry and worship are exact opposites, and we would all be much happier if we learned to become worshippers instead of worriers. Worry opens the door for the devil, but worship is reverence and adoration for God that leads us into His presence. Worship comes from a feeling of love that is so strong that we can hardly express it. God created us to worship Him, and I don't believe we can walk in victory if we don't become worshippers. Sometimes when we don't have what we need or want, the enemy tries to discourage us and keep us from worshipping God. But when we know that God has our best interests at heart, we can worship Him regardless of our circumstances. Remember God is good even when our circumstances are not! God doesn't always give us our heart's desire right away. He wants us to develop a deep, personal relationship with Him and an outrageous love for Him so much so that we can't live without it. This kind of relationship and love brings the worshipful attitude that God wants us to have. To worship means to reverence, or to defer to. We are to have reverential fear and awe of God. We are to respect and honor Him...and defer to Him submitting and obeying Him, and adapting ourselves to His will. We must realize that Christ living in us has come to lead and guide us into a special lifestyle of worship and victorious living. When Satan throws worry on you, I challenge you to stop what you're doing and get down on your knees before God and begin praising Him. Worship is a spiritual weapon, a warhead or bomb you can use against the enemy. Your prayers and worship will get you heavenly help, and you won't have to fight your own battles. God's grace and power can make things happen with ease that you can't bring about no matter how much you struggle. So stop worrying about everything, give it to God, and live in grace. Grace is not just divine favor, it is power! Don't waste another day of your life in worry. Determine what is your responsibility and what is not. Don't try to take on God's responsibility. When we do what we can do, God steps in and does what we can't. So give yourself and your worries to God and begin enjoying the abundant life He has planned for you.

 

[gracechick]

Another great post of word & advice to live by

My former pastor always said "if you can trust God with your eternal soul why shouldn't we be able trust Him with everything else."

& reading this made me think about how when we can be so busy trying to work everything out ourselves how quickly we can birth Ishmael problems in our lives.
If Abraham hadn't taken Sara's maid & had a child with her bfore Issac was born..his life would've been a whole lot easier. & who hasn't tried to "help God out" with things in their lives. I just think this Biblical story is a powerful lesson about doing our best to wait on God no matter how things look in the natural. Bcause He knows how to get us straight to our blessings. & us..it's just our best guess...

 

[SolitarySoul]

Everyone has had better advice than what I suggest, but if you still need help, or just want extra help, it can always help to talk to a therapist. Social anxiety disorder has more than just mental symptoms, it has physical symptoms as well such as sweating, excessive blushing, trembling, chest pains, aches, headaches, rapid heart beat, and even other conditions such as increase in acne. If you did go to a therapist, I'd not take meds, or at least wait for that as a last resort. Medications such as Paxil, Zoloft, or Effexor XR have proven to help in some occasions, but, it's never fun to be 'drugged up' just to make yourself feel better, and besides, I believe I am a living example that faith can do more good anyway. I've never seen a therapist, but I've been told many times that even just talking to them about it could help, even though, it usually costs money to see therapists, unlike here where it's free for me. Social anxiety disorder is a bigger "problem" than most people think. The definition of it states that the sufferer realizes that his/her fear is irrational and pointless, yet, no matter what they tell themselves, they can't overcome it. It's thought to be caused by an imbalance of chemicals in the nervous system. Recently in Psychology we were studying the parts of the brain, and there is one part that specifically controls emotions, which I remember seeing the name of in social anxiety and depression articles before. It is thought that a full blown anxiety/depression disorder is when that part of the brain is not functioning correctly. So it isn't neccissarily something that we can help very much, but, then again, as goldenviolet stated, there is a lot of discouragement in the world, as well as lack of faith I believe, so that's definatly a factor in these disorders. Of course it doesnt mean the sufferer is stupid, and I believe it can still be at least partially overcome with enough faith.

One thing that I like to try that I've found helps a little, is to go out now and then alone to someplace out of town where I don't know anyone and they don't know me, and I'll probably never see them again, and I just take my chances. I pray and have as much faith as I can and I just do my best to talk to people and not worry about what happens, because even if I were to completely humiliate myself and cause everyone within sight to literally fall over laughing, i'll just laugh along with them (you'd be suprised how big of a difference it makes if you laugh at yourself if you do do something embarrasing ... even though it doesn't even happen to me much, i've actually made some friends that way ... when they would normally laugh and tease, they realized i was laughing too, so it seemed more like a joke to them, and they said i'm cool and started talking to me) and even if the worst case scenario occurs, chances are you will never see those people again, and you can just brush it off and use it as a boost of confidence because you have that much more experience.

 

[goldenviolet]

Everyone has had better advice than what I suggest

solitarySoul all of us work for the good of eachother. ... all of the advice is given in fellowship and just as important as the next post... !!

hungryman hey! how have you been?

 

[superadria2686]

i have self diagnosed myself with social anxiety disorder are these symptoms?i feel like everyone i meet is judging me and that most people are better than me and i am scared of being around large groups of people.i have been suffering with this my whole life its so bad that i get my wife to talk to people like at the movie store or something i wont talk to them i will get my wife to do it because i am too afraid of what the people will think of me..it is really a burden and it has stopped me from being able to witness to people and i am really sick of it..its no fun when i am too afraid to be me

I am a lot like that..the only thing is I cant let myself get that close with a person in a relationship, I get scared that they dont like me and so its really hard for me to be in relationships! I have had some tho! lol