Tips/suggestions to attract the opposite gender

[Gnarwhal]

This thread is like watching a train wreck......

You could've stopped there and I still would've pinned the 'winner' medal on you.

 

[LoveDivine]

This. This right here is EVERYTHING to me. Do you want to know why? I will tell you why.

I have sixty pounds to lose. Not a big deal, right? Ordinarily, it wouldn't be...but I have two thyroid diseases that are not curable and are part of the reason why I have difficulty in losing weight. I also have PCOS which has a huge contribution in my difficulty to lose weight. I do not have the luxury of having the money or car to attend a gym and have to be creative in order to meet my fitness goals, along with keeping my calories in the range I need them to be in order to lose at least half a pound each week. I have also experienced three times - not one but three times of a man, a Christian man, treating me in the most unfair and unGodly manner all because of my weight. I do not know you, @ImAllLikeOkWaitWhat, and I will not judge you or any man that has taken part of this thread, no matter how horrified or hurt I am by some of these responses and remarks. I like to think you have good intentions behind this and you are a good person, and have strong faith in the Lord. I am not here to argue. I am not here to start anything. In fact, I had told myself I wouldn't read this thread for my own sake but I am here anyway, and...yes. I am not quite sure what to say. I guess I just wanted to give insight into my own life and experiences. Never judge anyone by their weight and never break up with someone or make a 'compromise' with them, all because of their weight. That is all I have to say.

Sadly these threads and discussions just end up hurting or offending people and driving the female members away. Lately the threads have been very negative for women. I doubt most of us will continue to post in this atmosphere

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

Sadly these threads and discussions just end up hurting or offending people and driving the female members away. Lately the threads have been very negative for women. I doubt most of us will continue to post in this atmosphere

Yeah I agree I think some guys on here can be insensitive to the issues women face on a daily basis and you guys know who you are.

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

I have to agree with the ladies here, this is why I try to avoid threads like these where you try to offer serious relationship/attraction advice. It's only going to rub some the wrong way. We're all different and can't possibly all follow the same advice due to factors outside our control.

My Asperger's affects my muscle tone, motor skills, and immune system plus the medications I'm on made me gain weight like crazy so I can never be athletic enough to make people physically attracted to me. Having poor social skills resulting from the Asperger's also impacted how I interact with people so that also severely affects me, especially in the confidence department. I had no control over any of this and so the cards are effectively stacked against me no matter how much advice you give me on how to be attractive.

Maybe in a perfect world we can all be 'good enough' if we just try hard enough. Unfortunately no one is made equal and some are going to have a harder time in certain areas than others.

 

[Travelers.Soul]

Yeah I agree I think some guys on here can be insensitive to the issues women face on a daily basis and you guys know who you are.

Dude.....

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

Dude.....

Yeah I'm here whats going on tonight?

 

[LoveDivine]

I have to agree with the ladies here, this is why I try to avoid threads like these where you try to offer serious relationship/attraction advice. It's only going to rub some the wrong way. We're all different and can't possibly all follow the same advice due to factors outside our control.

My Asperger's affects my muscle tone, motor skills, and immune system plus the medications I'm on made me gain weight like crazy so I can never be athletic enough to make people physically attracted to me. Having poor social skills resulting from the Asperger's also impacted how I interact with people so that also severely affects me, especially in the confidence department. I had no control over any of this and so the cards are effectively stacked against me no matter how much advice you give me on how to be attractive.

Maybe in a perfect world we can all be 'good enough' if we just try hard enough. Unfortunately no one is made equal and some are going to have a harder time in certain areas than others.

You are one of the nicer guys here so don't be hard on yourself. Most of us in Singles aren't stunningly beautiful or handsome so these threads are, frankly, useless and just bizarre. Most guys who have liked me and dated me pursued me because they liked my personality. The obsession with looks in these recent threads is just immature and shows a real lack of real life dating experience

 

[Travelers.Soul]

I am pretty sure this topic may be one of those....

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

I do not know you, @ImAllLikeOkWaitWhat, and I will not judge you or any man that has taken part of this thread, no matter how horrified or hurt I am by some of these responses and remarks. I like to think you have good intentions behind this and you are a good person, and have strong faith in the Lord. I am not here to argue. I am not here to start anything. In fact, I had told myself I wouldn't read this thread for my own sake but I am here anyway, and...yes. I am not quite sure what to say. I guess I just wanted to give insight into my own life and experiences. Never judge anyone by their weight and never break up with someone or make a 'compromise' with them, all because of their weight. That is all I have to say.

Hi Journey.In.Grace, I am sorry to hear about your experiences with men, christian men no less, I just want you to know not all of us are like that. While I think it can be a mistake to think because someone is a christian they will act better than someone who doesn't believe in Jesus Christ, I think we can just look around at all the christians we do in fact know to see that is not true. Many unbelievers follow Gods commandments better than a lot of christians. So I think sometimes we see someone is a christian and assume they will be a good person but while we would like that to be true, I think people are people regardless of what they believe and act accordingly to that.

I honestly don't think weight is a big deal to me personally, or matters to anyone who has a good heart. If God says he looks at peoples heart while we as humans judge eachother based off of outward appearance, I think if we want to be more like our heavenly father we need to think like him and act like his example he set before us. I completely understand there being health reasons and other reasons why a person can't lose weight. I have made a thread in the health forums just about this very issue that I dealt with personally. So while I am not overweight anymore I totally know what it is like to be overweight and to struggle in that area. I meant no offense to anyone female or male by my response which I tried as much as I could to make it as reasonable as possible.

Everyone has preferences and these aren't always set in stone. So please don't take offense by what I said if you did because I did not mean it that way. I think everyone is beautiful regardless of outward appearance and have complimented you on your appearance because you are beautiful and I hope you can see it as well. God bless you.

 

[leothelioness]

People shouldn't say things they don't mean. The hurt it causes others is sometimes irreparable.

 

[Journey.In.Grace]

Hi Journey.In.Grace, I am sorry to hear about your experiences with men, christian men no less, I just want you to know not all of us are like that. While I think it can be a mistake to think because someone is a christian they will act better than someone who doesn't believe in Jesus Christ, I think we can just look around at all the christians we do in fact know to see that is not true. Many unbelievers follow Gods commandments better than a lot of christians. So I think sometimes we see someone is a christian and assume they will be a good person but while we would like that to be true, I think people are people regardless of what they believe and act accordingly to that.

I honestly don't think weight is a big deal to me personally, or matters to anyone who has a good heart. If God says he looks at peoples heart while we as humans judge eachother based off of outward appearance, I think if we want to be more like our heavenly father we need to think like him and act like his example he set before us. I completely understand there being health reasons and other reasons why a person can't lose weight. I have made a thread in the health forums just about this very issue that I dealt with personally. So while I am not overweight anymore I totally know what it is like to be overweight and to struggle in that area. I meant no offense to anyone female or male by my response which I tried as much as I could to make it as reasonable as possible.

Everyone has preferences and these aren't always set in stone. So please don't take offense by what I said if you did because I did not mean it that way. I think everyone is beautiful regardless of outward appearance and have complimented you on your appearance because you are beautiful and I hope you can see it as well. God bless you.

It is one thing to say you are a Christian. 'Being' a Christian can mean many things - you are not a full believer but you believe in God, you believe in God but are not religious, or even being a follower of Christ. But if you say you are a Christian and a follower of Christ, but act completely opposite of what you claim to be, then that is where the issue is. I am not saying we as followers of Christ are perfect and our mistakes are jaw-dropping. Let's face it, we are sinners. We are going to do very human things and we are going to sin one way or another; Jesus died on the cross so that we do not have to bear those ugly sins and have a chance. What my problem is that these 'devoted' Christian men say the words and play the part, but when it comes to acting like the Christian he claims to be, then it is completely the opposite. I get it, physical appearance and attraction has somewhat of an important role, but we should not value it so much to where we treat someone like crap because of their weight or be so superficial about it.

 

[MehGuy]

I have to agree with the ladies here, this is why I try to avoid threads like these where you try to offer serious relationship/attraction advice. It's only going to rub some the wrong way. We're all different and can't possibly all follow the same advice due to factors outside our control.

My Asperger's affects my muscle tone, motor skills, and immune system plus the medications I'm on made me gain weight like crazy so I can never be athletic enough to make people physically attracted to me. Having poor social skills resulting from the Asperger's also impacted how I interact with people so that also severely affects me, especially in the confidence department. I had no control over any of this and so the cards are effectively stacked against me no matter how much advice you give me on how to be attractive.

Maybe in a perfect world we can all be 'good enough' if we just try hard enough. Unfortunately no one is made equal and some are going to have a harder time in certain areas than others.

Still don't understand why this very sub-forum has had height threads where women had no qualms being open about not liking a shorter dude. In one such thread, there was even a post that had a lot of likes that pretty much was "uh oh.. MehGuy isn't going to be happy about this thread.. lol". It's like.. if someone made a thread solely about weight the white knights would be there probably before anyone else could post.. but as a short guy all of a sudden I'm expected to be quiet and accept this double standard.

 

[LoveDivine]

Still don't understand why this very sub-forum has had height threads where women had no qualms being open about not liking a shorter dude. In one such thread, there was even a post that had a lot of likes that pretty much was "uh oh.. MehGuy isn't going to be happy about this thread.. lol". It's like.. if someone made a thread solely about weight the white knights would be there probably before anyone else could post.. but as a short guy all of a sudden I'm expected to be quiet and accept this double standard.

I really think you need to stop your bitter campaign against women. No one here makes fun of your height and you are just insulting on a regular basis. Let it go. It's getting really old and unoriginal. Go rant about fat women elsewhere

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

I get it, physical appearance and attraction has somewhat of an important role, but we should not value it so much to where we treat someone like crap because of their weight or be so superficial about it.

Well I would not treat you like crap or anyone else because of their weight.

 

[Sketcher]

Over the long run, women tend not to get thinner. Baby weight is a thing. It's more often compounded rather than lost. If she's heavy enough to give you second thoughts now, you should probably move on and look for someone thinner.

 

[Travelers.Soul]

Still don't understand why this very sub-forum has had height threads where women had no qualms being open about not liking a shorter dude. In one such thread, there was even a post that had a lot of likes that pretty much was "uh oh.. MehGuy isn't going to be happy about this thread.. lol". It's like.. if someone made a thread solely about weight the white knights would be there probably before anyone else could post.. but as a short guy all of a sudden I'm expected to be quiet and accept this double standard.

Meh....when, lately, has this happened? Have I missed it? I do remember a man bashing thread about 5-6 months ago (maybe more) about dead beat men but most of the ladies currently active were not a part of that and a few even spoke up for guys. Yet there have been a few of these "we only want women who are a certain way" type threads over that same time period. I have nothing against guys having a preference but this just seems to be getting out of hand honestly.

 

[MehGuy]

I really think you need to stop your bitter campaign against women. No one here makes fun of your height and you are just insulting on a regular basis. Let it go

Yeah I think heightism against men is so accepted it goes deeper than simply "making fun of short men". Even though a few such posts actually do exist here.. lol.

If we're not going to gasp in horror when a female says she prefers taller men, don't expect me to gasp in horror when a man says he prefers a thinner woman.

My brain simply doesn't have what it takes to be a male feminist and let these double standards go.

Lol seriously.

 

[Travelers.Soul]

Yeah I think heightism against men is so accepted it goes deeper than simply "making fun of short men". Even though a few such posts actually do exist here.. lol.

If we're not going to gasp in horror when a female says she prefers taller men, don't expect me to gasp in horror when a man says he prefers a thinner woman.

My brain simply doesn't have what it takes to be a male feminist and let these double standards go.

Lol seriously.

No one is asking you to gasp in horror and my boyfriend is shorter than me...sooooo...yeah.

 

[MehGuy]

No one is asking you to gasp in horror and my boyfriend is shorter than me...sooooo...yeah.

The way some posters have reacted it seems like they expect me too. Lol.

And your boyfriend is shorter than you.. that's cool. I don't see what this has to do with anything.

 

[Sketcher]

I would rather people just be themselves and act/dress according to what's important to them, and then they'll attract the people who are a good match for them.

Or they'll just remain single.