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This Is My Fireproof Thread
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JaneFW
Well-Known Member
Okay, well I don't think that either of them behaved well. I just don't hold with some of the horrible things said, particularly in the blog linked by someone else that suggested she issued divorce papers to force her husband to fight the OM over her (??) and also that she wanted to be 'bought' - and also that her mother didn't need a hospital bed. Like, really? Do they know this is a movie, and that they are creating a completely different sub-text? I mean, go make your own movie showing those events, but don't re-write this movie to fit your own world view. (Not addressed to you CW.)
My point is as irrelevant as all the other points that address events that didn't happen in the movie. I agree that her actions were wrong. They were clearly wrong. I don't think for a moment that the movie makers wanted to suggest they were right. The movie showed slyness, subterfuge, meanness - and half of that was the wife's misbehavior. It wasn't hidden or excused. No voice over ever said "[whatever her name was] is only doing this because her husband doesn't meet her needs." If someone thinks the movie was saying that, it's because it's in their head.
I didn't answer the question because I didn't think it needed to be answered. Of course nobody who is treated like crap by their spouse feels respected.
Again, it's a movie. They didn't write in her apology. Somebody needs to get those guys and slam their heads together and tell them to write it better next time. But I do believe that their hearts are in the right place.
That said, I hate this movie.
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Romanseight2005
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First of all would you like a little cheese with your whine?
I will be the first to say that yes, women can be lusty cheaters. While I agree with some of your points, I also would have to say that neither is it true that what the scenario was in the premise of the movie's beginning, never happens. It does happen, and it happens a lot. But I want to remind everyone again, that the movie made it clear that the situation was reversed in the parents scenario.
Maybe they will decide to make a prequel, if you will, and show the story of Caleb's parents. Oh wait, then everyone would be upset that the woman looked good again, because she was the one that showed Christlike love first.
I don't get it, honestly. With all of the complaints that people have for making men look bad, the reality in this movie was that he was the one who got it together first. He was the one who was Christlike first, and frankly, he is the one who comes out of it looking like the better person. I would think that should make all of the people who don't like the way that men are portrayed, happy that they showed the man to be the Christlike one. She didn't change until the end.
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chaz345
Well-Known Member
Both behaved badly, both pretty much equally contributed to the state that their marriage was in, and yet it was only through his changing that things could get better. And her wrongs were very much portrayed as an understandable response to his wrongs. I'm not saying that they were portrayed as ok or anything, but the undercurrent that they wouldn't have happened if not for his wrongs was very clear.
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Romanseight2005
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Well in the beginning he expected her to take care of all of the household issues, including his laundry, groceries, cleaning, etc. and work. When she didn't do those things, he threw a fit, if that is not trying to control, then I don't know what is. So yes he was selfish, but in his selfishness, he definitely tried to wield his manly aggression to make her be a perfect little maid, who only existed to serve him. Again, that is the definition of controlling.
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hijklmnop
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Yes, he was! He was trying to control her with his explosive outbursts at her! Did he not even at one point YELL at her about how she should be submitting to him?
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hijklmnop
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This made me LOL.
So much anger (others, not you) about the undercurrents and hidden messages some people think is in a movie...a MOVIE!
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hijklmnop
Guest
First of all would you like a little cheese with your whine?
I will be the first to say that yes, women can be lusty cheaters. While I agree with some of your points, I also would have to say that neither is it true that what the scenario was in the premise of the movie's beginning, never happens. It does happen, and it happens a lot. But I want to remind everyone again, that the movie made it clear that the situation was reversed in the parents scenario.
Maybe they will decide to make a prequel, if you will, and show the story of Caleb's parents. Oh wait, then everyone would be upset that the woman looked good again, because she was the one that showed Christlike love first.
With all of the complaints that people have for making men look bad, the reality in this movie was that he was the one who got it together first. He was the one who was Christlike first, and frankly, he is the one who comes out of it looking like the better person. I would think that should make all of the people who don't like the way that men are portrayed, happy that they showed the man to be the Christlike one. She didn't change until the end.
Re. the first bolded: I agree. Oooh, we are rare, apparently, do you feel as special as I do? LOL
re. the second bolded: TOTALLY!!!! I can so see that happening..."Oh, sure, now the husband is the bad one and the wife is all holy and Christlike and doing everything right and saving the marriage and making the bad husband change...how typical...wahhh..."
And ITA with the third bolded too.
IMO those moviemakers cannot win. I think their intentions were good but some people are going to feel attacked pretty much all the time anyways, so what can ya do. :
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chaz345
Well-Known Member
Where was it ever strongly and clearly stated that her EA was wrong? We had the scene where she was out with her secular friends and it was ALL about how he was the whole problem, that she was doing no wrong. Granted there was the one scene with the older Christian lady in the hospital cafeteria, but that was hardly a strong rebuke of obviously wrong behavior. A scene where someone "got in her face about it" like his co-worker did would have made the movie miles better IMO.
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I feel bad for every man that is married to such a manipulative, childish woman.
It is regrettable that women so often do not want to fully own their sin, and must always find some way to make the man at least partially responsible.
This kind of passive power-tripping is often present in women - while men express control directly, women express it indirectly. This by no means makes women more innocent than men in this regard.
Personally, I could care less if the man in a fictional account was a portrayed fairly or not.
What I do notice is that it ultimately comes down to the woman approving of or disapproving of the man's actions, and that the man's submission to God is measured by his wife's level of contentment. Too many men have handed control of their marriages over to the woman, who feels entitled to have final veto on every issue.
Women complain about wanting a leader, but refuse to follow unless the leader does exactly what her desires are. This is not a woman looking for a leader. This is a woman looking for a Chauffer - someone to do the actual work, but at her direction.
The Bible gives a prescription for bringing a husband back into God's will. I seem to remember part of it included the phrase " they may be won over without words". Or something like that.
The woman in this movie is not following the correct prescription.
As to the accusation that I am whining, nice try. I am rebuking. Rebuking a soft, Christian feminism that has made the whims of the female the final determinant of Godliness.
I do not expect to win over a single woman to my views, of course. I plan to win over the men. To point out to men how this type of message (along with the feminist promise keeper claptrap) has corrupted mens' thinking and led them further from a true relationship with the Lord.
Women are, in no place in the Bible, called upon to be the judges of their husband's behavior, nor are they called to be the moral arbiters of of a Godly culture.
Men SHOULD try to please their wives. But they need to do this from a position that is judged by the Lord and by scripture, and not by the pop-culture attitudes that are indistinguishable from the secular world's view of men and relationships.
My guess is that Oprah the Christ-denier would approve of this movie.
It is regrettable that women so often do not want to fully own their sin, and must always find some way to make the man at least partially responsible.
This kind of passive power-tripping is often present in women - while men express control directly, women express it indirectly. This by no means makes women more innocent than men in this regard.
Personally, I could care less if the man in a fictional account was a portrayed fairly or not.
What I do notice is that it ultimately comes down to the woman approving of or disapproving of the man's actions, and that the man's submission to God is measured by his wife's level of contentment. Too many men have handed control of their marriages over to the woman, who feels entitled to have final veto on every issue.
Women complain about wanting a leader, but refuse to follow unless the leader does exactly what her desires are. This is not a woman looking for a leader. This is a woman looking for a Chauffer - someone to do the actual work, but at her direction.
The Bible gives a prescription for bringing a husband back into God's will. I seem to remember part of it included the phrase " they may be won over without words". Or something like that.
The woman in this movie is not following the correct prescription.
As to the accusation that I am whining, nice try. I am rebuking. Rebuking a soft, Christian feminism that has made the whims of the female the final determinant of Godliness.
I do not expect to win over a single woman to my views, of course. I plan to win over the men. To point out to men how this type of message (along with the feminist promise keeper claptrap) has corrupted mens' thinking and led them further from a true relationship with the Lord.
Women are, in no place in the Bible, called upon to be the judges of their husband's behavior, nor are they called to be the moral arbiters of of a Godly culture.
Men SHOULD try to please their wives. But they need to do this from a position that is judged by the Lord and by scripture, and not by the pop-culture attitudes that are indistinguishable from the secular world's view of men and relationships.
My guess is that Oprah the Christ-denier would approve of this movie.
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Romanseight2005
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I was responding to Chaz with this post, but I would say that it didn't make her look better. It made him look better because he got it together first, and did the sacrificial thing first. The only part that I can see as showing that the wife might be understood is in her desire to care for her parents, rather than buy herself expensive toys, like the expensive boat that he wanted. But I think that the movie started at a point where both of them were fed up with each other, also, she showed her selfishness when she started flirting with the doctor, so so it was pretty even. Thus, I don't really think what comes across as the main theme of the movie has anything to do with one being better than the other. The main them was that they both needed Christ.
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hijklmnop
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Um, it's a movie. Maybe the pretend wife apologizes to the pretend husband in the pretend future. I'm fairly amused at the lack of ability to get over the fact that an hour-and-a-bit-long movie does not show everything involved in a broken marriage being healed and reconciled, which typically takes years. "The pretend woman didn't rebuke the pretend wife firmly enough to make it even!" LOL This is getting a little ridiculous. A lot ridiculous.
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Romanseight2005
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Re. the first bolded: I agree. Oooh, we are rare, apparently, do you feel as special as I do? LOL
re. the second bolded: TOTALLY!!!! I can so see that happening..."Oh, sure, now the husband is the bad one and the wife is all holy and Christlike and doing everything right and saving the marriage and making the bad husband change...how typical...wahhh..."
And ITA with the third bolded too.
IMO those moviemakers cannot win. I think their intentions were good but some people are going to feel attacked pretty much all the time anyways, so what can ya do. :
Right. I think that when people feel convicted, and they aren't ready to respond, they get defensive.
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Created2Write
His Pink Princess
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LOL. No. He yelled, yes. Said she was selfish and disrespectful, yes. That she should submit to him? No. Not even once.
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hijklmnop
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Wellllll, it's been a long time, what can I say? I guess I remembered him yelling at her about being disrespectful as being the equivalent to him yelling at her to respect him. But oh well my bad!
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