This boy is bad news

[anna ~ grace]

Whenever I voice the struggles that I have with guys, everyone always seems to talk about this magical mystery guy that will eventually come along, but when is that going to happen? I’m so tired of waiting for him, I just want to be loved already.

You're only just graduating high school. You're still young.

Ask God to get your head to rule your heart. Be specific in your prayers. The sorrow this guy inevitably will cause you is not worth even one moment of his attention.

 

[Sam91]

Look at the Father in Heaven. Put your eyes on Him instead of this guy. Take him off snapchat etc so that you don't need to think about him. Sin looks so appealing sometimes otherwise how is it going to tempt and trick you into deciding to do it. You have already been flirting. I don't know what you mean by that but from my view of the word, I don't think we ought to do it.

Maybe other people do not treat you the way he does is because they are treating you with respect? He maybe treating you with disrespect in flirting. He isn't respecting others if he is asking them to send nude pictures and disappearing off to the bathroom. To him you are probably one in a list of girls he has flirted with recently and not as unique to what he is for you.

Separate yourself from him as much as you can. Thankfully you will be off to college soon and away from this particular temptation. However, you will still be vulnerable to others while you are holding on to a type of loneliness and dented self esteem.

Blessings

 

[Yanni depp]

Whenever I voice the struggles that I have with guys, everyone always seems to talk about this magical mystery guy that will eventually come along, but when is that going to happen? I’m so tired of waiting for him, I just want to be loved already.

Well, i cant help you in figuring out when the mystery guy will come along, but when it comes to maniplulators, know that this dude is one of them. You AREN'T going to marry him and he ISN'T going to be with you for the rest of your life. He may be with you for the rest of his or your employment. And thats about it. All he can offer you, is counterfeit. A cheap malformation/impression that is not worth/equated with, what the real thing would be. That being, true love under Christ.

 

[Heavenhome]

This is definitely my self esteem issues talking, but I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t feel like I’m worth more than this guy has to offer.

It doesn't matter what you feel because our feelings can be very deceiving.
I am sure you know that your parents and family love you, most importantly you are so precious to Jesus that He died for you and even if you were the only person on earth He would still have done it.
Self esteem can be a tricky thing and you can feel many things, conflicting things and truly none of us are really worthy of ourselves but to God- well you know that the very number of hairs on your head He knows so that makes you VERY special to Him….. and also to us, your brother's and sisters in Christ

 

[faroukfarouk]

[.]

 

[discipler7]

My head knows that it can only end poorly but my heart doesn’t care. I feel like I’m on the edge of making some really bad decisions, but I don’t know how to stop myself.

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2CORINTHIANS.6: =
14 Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? 15 And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? 16 And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God. As God has said:

“I will dwell in them
And walk among them.
I will be their God,
And they shall be My people.”

17 Therefore

“Come out from among them
And be separate, says the Lord.
Do not touch what is unclean,
And I will receive you.”
18 “I will be a Father to you,
And you shall be My sons and daughters,
Says the Lord Almighty.”

1COR.3: =
16 Do you not know that you are the temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you? 17 If anyone defiles the temple of God, God will destroy him. For the temple of God is holy, which temple you are.

1COR.6: =
18 Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. 19 Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?
20 For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.
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GENESIS.3: =
16 To the woman He said:

“I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception;
In pain you shall bring forth children;
Your desire shall be for your husband,
And he shall rule over you.”
(A girl better not end up with a bad or evil boyfriend/lover/husband)

 

[Poppyseed78]

Please avoid this guy. Don't talk to him, don't flirt with him, don't spend time alone with him. You are vulnerable right now because you are lonely, and he would take advantage of that. He sounds like bad news all around. If you let him, he will destroy you. Notice I don't use the word "probably" because that is a foregone conclusion.

Focus on graduating and moving forward with your life. Don't drag yourself down with this person who has shown himself to be dangerous. I'm not saying he is beyond redemption, or that he can't change. He very well can. But as it stands right now, he is a threat to everything you have worked for. In college you will meet so many new people, and you will forget about this guy. Put him behind you and focus on building up your self-esteem.

 

[Kenny'sID]

I mean I’m a pastors daughter who’s never so much as been grounded since elementary school, I’ve never had alcohol, and never even seen drugs in real life.

There's your attraction for him, and probably his for you.

You're attracted to something different than what you're used to, but many Christians want to do something different than what we're used to, we just know better.

However, we're dealing with probably one of, if not the most extreme draws for man, romance, and oft times, nothing gets in the way of that. So if you find yourself going for it in spite of the warnings, at least do your best not to blind yourself if and when red flags arise. See them and heed them.

Do you really want to be the gal that 20yrs down the line, always says, "I seem to be drawn to the wrong type man."?

i didn't read the whole thread, but if he's not christian, then you know better. If he says he is, you still may know better.

 

[Peachie4408]

But you said, he's into weed -- drugs.

It's actually very common for drug users / addicts to also steal to help sustain their dangerous addiction.

It's the fact that drug addiction is an expensive addiction.




In ministry, it is always absolutely better to deal with troubled people or unsaved of the same sex.

It is most definitely not a good idea for a young and very pretty lady to try to win unsaved teenage boys....For obvious reasons....We are selling the Gospel, not some fast and ridiculously expensive cars....That would give them the wrong idea about ministry and could end up getting deceived in the end.

I'm saying this is not your concern. What he needs is another one like him -- a man or a boy to share him the Gospel. So he can receive it purely.... If you did it, he'll only see lust and his intentions won't be pure. Only thing you can do is pray for him.

Don’t worry, on this I completely agree with you. I know I can’t be the one to bring this boy to Christ, the quote you pulled was me responding to someone who said I needed to be his light, and that was why I thought that wasn’t the best idea, I just didn’t put it quite as elegantly as you. I believe he needs Jesus, but I understand that I can’t be the one to lead him there.

 

[Peachie4408]

Sorry to hear.

And then Apostle Paul said, it is better to be single and he said it in absolute regards (only the unsaved, unbelievers thinks marriage is better because they don't know God's Words, nor the Truth)

It helps a lot.

Additionally, I would also advice caution in your case. You said you are a pastor's daughter. The guy who's showing interest in you seems to have financial struggles and possibly intro drugs.

So it's possible this guy might only be after your money.
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I’m actually familiar with the passage your talking about (like I said in my original post, I have a fairly good grasp of theology), and if I remember correctly Paul was saying if you have the temperament to be single, than do it, and live your life fully for God (not that you shouldn’t anyway, but as a single person you have more ability to move around then someone with say, a family does) but if you struggle with things like lust that you should get married to help combat that. I definitely fall into the later camp. I’ve been clean for several months (all thanks to God in that one) but I’ve struggled with a inappropriate content addiction in my past, and I believe that the best path for me is to eventually get married, which I don’t think is ever a bad thing.

To your second point, I don’t believe this guy is after me for my money- my dad is a volunteer pastor, it’s actually in our church’s bi laws that he can’t be paid a salary by the church. My parents actually also own the place that me and this guy work at, and it’s pretty common knowledge around the office that we barely break even. I’m not saying his intentions are good, or that I need to get married now, I’m just saying I don’t think this is a gold digger situation.

 

[timewerx]

I’m actually familiar with the passage your talking about (like I said in my original post, I have a fairly good grasp of theology), and if I remember correctly Paul was saying if you have the temperament to be single, than do it, and live your life fully for God (not that you shouldn’t anyway, but as a single person you have more ability to move around then someone with say, a family does) but if you struggle with things like lust that you should get married to help combat that. I definitely fall into the later camp. I’ve been clean for several months (all thanks to God in that one) but I’ve struggled with a inappropriate content addiction in my past, and I believe that the best path for me is to eventually get married, which I don’t think is ever a bad thing.

Marrying because of lust, hopefully, must still be taken into careful consideration.

We must genuinely love the person we are marrying and hopefully, that affection is not strongly influenced by lust towards that person. Lust can be fleeting (in a relative sense) and is certainly not the main ingredient in lasting marriages.

I don't think Paul meant to those who can't control lust to get married ASAP. We still must very carefully look around and choose who to marry and the process of looking and choosing will take time, even possibly many years!

To your second point, I don’t believe this guy is after me for my money- my dad is a volunteer pastor, it’s actually in our church’s bi laws that he can’t be paid a salary by the church. My parents actually also own the place that me and this guy work at, and it’s pretty common knowledge around the office that we barely break even. I’m not saying his intentions are good, or that I need to get married now, I’m just saying I don’t think this is a gold digger situation.

The guy you describe put up some list of red flags, the weed, alcohol, inappropriate chats with other women.

I agree with the other posters to avoid this guy.

Don't rush things. I can assure you there are **plenty** of other guys much better than him. You'll get tons of opportunity to meet better guys later on, as you get older. It would be very wise to wait for that time.

Don't make the same mistake many other people did in hastily choosing someone to become their BF or GF and eventually marry and ends getting divorced eventually.