Thing's you shouldn't say...

[lucypevensie]

Watch out, dude!

Boss points out to you a little mistake you made on that one task.

 

[MissRowy]

if you are so observant you fix it then!

you dropped your bosses Gucci watch down the toilet

 

[WarriorOftheLord]

Hey, I dropped your watch down the toilet; so I got you a diving suit so that you'll be able to retrieve it. Awww, you don't have to thank me! *smile*

Someone takes forever placing their order at a fast-food place

 

[MissRowy]

It will be Easter by the time I leave this restaurant so hurry the heck up!

you tread on the toe of a famous person

 

[dmpeace]

I am so sorry.

A friend loses their house.

 

[lucypevensie]

Hey, at least you won't have to clean it now.

PHotographer says "smile!"

 

[americanvet]

Hey, at least you won't have to clean it now.

PHotographer says "smile!"

I should be smiling cause I don't look like you.

To your mother when she thought she picked you out the best Christmas present.

 

[MissRowy]

Ma if I wanted to know where Nebraska was I would have looked on Google Maps!

To the taxi driver who got lost and you ended up paying more money to

 

[lucypevensie]

I hope you crash and total your car.

Grandma asks you if you'd mind helping her in the kitchen with thanksgiving dinner.

 

[MissRowy]

What did your last slave die of?

You get asked to put up the Christmas Tree except you are allergic to pinetrees

 

[dmpeace]

Do it yourself lazy.

You back into somebody else.

 

[lucypevensie]

Ugh, there's always someone in the way!

To the frazzled store clerk on Black Friday.

 

[Via Cassian]

"I have two full carts and a coupon for each item so I am in a hurry to check out. Can't you move faster than you did with the previous customers?"

To the clerk who says, "Happy Holidays!"

 

[lucypevensie]

It's Merry Christmas, heathen!

Someone compliments you on the delicious meal you prepared.

 

[Via Cassian]

When I heard it was you coming to dinner I didn't put any effort into the meal. But your comment does confirm how unsophisticated you are in food as well as everything else.



To the paramedic who comes to your home after you get punched in the face by dinner guest.

 

[MissRowy]

What in the name of God did you do that for you crazy person?

The dinner guest after you act out your revenge for being punched

 

[lucypevensie]

I think it is safe to conclude that my cooking rocks and your cooking stinks. Let's never eat together again.

A little kid proudly shows you the colorful picture they painted.

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

You poor thing. You're obviously colorblind.

Your husband surprises you with a bouquet of flowers.

 

[MissRowy]

I told you to buy gardenias not tulips you demented fool!

You find the perfect pair of shoes but the store doesnt have your size

 

[lucypevensie]

You're all out of size 8, huh? I hope you are forced out of business due to lack of customers buying stuff.

Dh calls you while you're out to ask if you could stop and buy a gallon of milk on your way home.