Thing's you shouldn't say...

[LovebirdsFlying]

It's OK, there's more where that came from.

To the widow at the funeral.

 

[dmpeace]

Your husband was annoying and you to if you don't stop crying.

You spill coffee on somebody.

 

[lucypevensie]

I'd apologize, but obviously you wouldn't have coffee spilled on you if you had moved a little quicker. It's pretty much your own fault, and if anything, you should apologize to me.

Your car won't start, and a random stranger asks you if you need some help.

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

Can we trade cars?

Your teenager came home on time and didn't miss curfew.

 

[MissRowy]

Go back out and I don't expect you home until 1am Wednesday morning

You caught your neighbour singing aloud in the backyard

 

[dmpeace]

Laughing at them saying do you feel embarrassed?

Somebody false down in front of you.

 

[WarriorOftheLord]

Ooooh, that's just the picture I need for this Sparky meme I'm making!! Hold still and grimace for me!

To the amusement park worker who asks you to wait at the yellow line

 

[MissRowy]

Sorry im colourblind can you move the line to me instead of me moving to it

you spill a drink on your husbands fathers expensive tie

 

[lucypevensie]

Actually, that tie was really ugly. It looks a lot better now, to be honest.

You're going to meet up with a friend but you're running a few minutes late.

 

[dmpeace]

Quit running and start walking, lol. Tell them their not important enough to be on time.

A friend fills up your gas tank for you.

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

You idiot! You used the wrong brand. Don't you know I only put the highest quality premium in my tank? Now I'm going to have to empty it out completely so the good stuff and the cheap stuff won't mix in together. Ugh. You didn't fill my tires with common air too, did you? I use a special high helium blend.

Your spouse took the day off work with a cold.

 

[MissRowy]

You took time off work for that??? Geez why couldnt you have done something more spectacular?

your spouse drank the last of the milk you were planning to use

 

[Cc4FuzzyHuggles]

Hey honey, do you know what happened to the carton of milk that was in the fridge? There wasn't a lot left in it, but I can't find it and I forgot to label it. It was special enriched coconut milk that I have been recycling as a soothing supplement on a rash that I have. I wanted to label it and keep using it.




Talk to the hand.

 

[MissRowy]

where are you hand I know you killed that woman

talk to your foot

 

[dmpeace]

Your days are numbered, off you go.

Your dog goes 2 in the neighbors yard.

 

[lucypevensie]

You might want to consider putting up a fence, otherwise my dog will keep getting in your yard and pooing everywhere, and I doubt you want to keep picking up after him.

Medical technician doing a test on you keeps saying "I'm almost done... Just a couple more minutes... I swear we're almost done... you're doing great... a couple more minutes... how are you doing? Ok, we're almost done..."

 

[dmpeace]

I just went #2.

A friend stole your wallet.

 

[lucypevensie]

I see you found my wallet. Want to go down to the mall and throw money into the fountain there?

Dog trainer asks "have you been working on sit and stay like I taught you last week?"

 

[Daughter of His]

I've been trying to teach my dog sit and stay but instead my husband just stays in front of the TV in the recliner begging for food and drink.

Where did you get those shoes?

 

[clivwill]

you are ugly