Thing's you shouldn't say...

[star in the sky]

You drive son but blindfolded .

Your mother is so proud of the new underwear she bought you shes telling all her friends and your family she wants to tell your best friends next and show them

 

[sculleywr]

You drive son but blindfolded .

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TC-0md5caw

likethis?

Your mother is so proud of the new underwear she bought you shes telling all her friends and your family she wants to tell your best friends next and show them

Burn them!!!

 

[Lioness901]

Oh wow! I love this stuff! I'll take a couple bottles of this perfume - for gifts, a makeup kit for my daughter, 5 sets of the necklace and earrings for my sisters, the manly smelling soap - 7 of them for my brothers in law, husband, and dad. Throw in a couple bubble baths for my kids, the cute lady bug earrings - I'm sure someone can use them, the skin care set, a couple of them, one for oily skin and one for dry, the coconut scented lotion, the peppermint foot cream, the nail polish set in pastels, and the hair clip. You got all that? Good, because I was just kidding, HAHAHA, I use Mary Kay!

(Ok, that was kind of dumb)

Haha! I'm an Avon rep and I would just cry after all that lol. Nice one remind me to never visit your home selling Avon lol.

What not to say to your mate when they ask you "do I look fat in this??"

 

[lucypevensie]

Well, I'll put it like this - a muumuu would probably look nicer than that thing.

The vet asks you if your dog is up to date on his rabies shot.

 

[Susie~Q]

I am not sure, he has been salivating a lot lately.

What not to say to a person cooking your meal.

 

[star in the sky]

Im allergic to any food can I just eat grass

Youre riding a bike you dont realise your about to hit a pole what wouldshould someone say to you?

 

[Lioness901]

This is so gonna end up on Youtube!

What not to say to someone who has just watched a horror movie and is scared of everything and everyone and asks you for comfort

 

[lucypevensie]

Psh. You think that was a scary movie -- have you ever seen The Exorcist? Well, let me tell you all about it!

The person at the McDonald's register asks, "may I take your order?"

 

[Lioness901]

Yes I'll order one kids meal no wait I have my twins ok 2 and don't forget the toys, also extra ketchup and with mustard on the side, 6 fish fellets with mayo on the side of only two of them, ummmm 3 double cheese burgers, 2 single burgers with extra pickles but no pickles on the three doubles, a couple sodas, 2 triple burgers extra ketchup, 8 orders of fries, 6 hashbrowns, no wait make that no pickles on the doubles with extra mayo on only 5 doubles and pickles on the side, no wait the fish burgers cancel them and make 4 triples, 2 singles, 2 kids meals, 4 doubles, extra pickles on 2 triples, extra mayo on 1 single, mustard on the side of 3 triples... oh wait here's my friend we'll go elsewhere cancel the order... oh she wants you to repeat everything I just said we know you close in ten minutes but this won't take long....

What not to say when things are just beginning to heat up on your honeymoon....

 

[contango]

You did bring the medication for my STDs, right?

What not to say in a children's playground?

 

[lucypevensie]

Right over there where those kids are climbing on those bars - that's where I found that dead body yesterday. You can still see a faint chalk outline.

The doctor asks exactly where the pain is coming from.

 

[Lioness901]

Well you're the doctor so you should know without me telling you. You're just a quack in a white coat. Can I have your degree I need toilet paper?

What not to say at a funeral....

 

[star in the sky]

The funeral director/Minister : " Im hungry who wants pizza??"

How do you tell a small child they cant eat chocholate for at least a year due to have a tooth pulled out?

 

[lucypevensie]

I know the dentist said no chocolate for awhile. But what does he know? Dentists think they are so smart and think they can dictate to their patients what they can and can't eat. You just go ahead and pick out your favorite king sized candy bar and you can eat it right in the dentist chair in front of the big meanie.

You want to go see Sound of Music live on stage with me?

 

[star in the sky]

"I don't like hearing people making goat noises (yoddling) on stage I cant come"


What would you say to someone whose afraid and has a fear of icy water?

 

[Susie~Q]

May I have a glass of ice water

To somone who is allergic to cats

 

[Lioness901]

Oh hi welcome to my home please meet all my 12 cats. They all love to climb people so just stand there for a bit while they climb ya.


What not to say to someone who has the flu...

 

[lucypevensie]

Did you know that the flu can be fatal? Yeah, every once in awhile there is some strain of flu that wipes out a large number of people. Hopefully this is not one of those epidemics. Well, good luck with that, bye!

Your kid comes in your bedroom and says it's morning, time to get up and make breakfast.

 

[Lioness901]

Get lost ya little brat make your own breakfast.


What not to say in a police interrogation room...

 

[lucypevensie]

Enough about me. Let's talk about you and your exceptional girth. Hitting the 24-hour donut shop, are ya?

To the man checking you in at the hotel.