... and not just in Covid times.
https://www.anglicanjournal.com/ministr ... WELxqvoiok
I've found it almost impossible to have honest conversations about this in churches, though, because the clash of expectations, and problems with boundaries (and, I suspect, a generation gap) make it very difficult to really hear each other and respond well.
This conversation has gone a lot of different ways!
There have been times I was ministering as a pastor, in various settings, and times I was a lay person ministering as well. I don't have a big burden for the question of pay. It is biblical that someone ministering with all their time can receive pay. For Paul that meant at times being provisioned as was possible, and other times having nothing. God called him to that. For the apostles in Jerusalem that meant that they dedicated their time to prayer and ministry of the word and were taken care of for their financial needs. Sometimes when I am a lay member I wish I was a full time pastor so I could dedicate more time to the work. Sometimes when I am a full time pastor I miss the complete freedom of serving without any ulterior motive, or worry of pay. I imagine the Lord can use a variety of means there.
As to the main thrust of the article. Yes, the pandemic has put additional strain on what was already difficult. In every church I have been the pastor I have struggled to find ways to meet with people as often as they need for me to effectively serve the shepherding role that God describes. Some settings this was easier, and some more difficult.
However, there is no way to do it without spending time with individuals, families, etc. finding out what they are struggling with, what they feel the Lord calling them to do, what gifts the Lord has revealed in them, and many others. Usually this is at their home, or as was pointed out, a neutral place, depending on the circumstances.
The pandemic meant that the shorter visits you might sometimes get before a bible study or service, or times you might spend at fellowship events, whether one-off, or scheduled, were now out of the picture for a time. And you couldn't have those meetings in the home or in a lot of neutral places. And that meant a lot more phone calls and emails. I did find that difficult, producing mostly online content, and calling. We were blessed that since we are a smaller congregation we were able to meet again before long with distancing and masking, with no infections from the service. After missing some months people were tremendously excited to fellowship again. I also think that the break in the routine, and the heightened awareness of death, and our dependence on the Lord brought people to a new appreciation of the support in the church. Some still stayed home due to the virus, so now we are kind of ministering a couple different ways. I am not sure how it would have worked out if we could not open up again. The time we were closed was quite stressful, and for every pastor I talked to they had a difficult time as well. Some are still closed, and not sure how many will return if they do open. Some re-opened, and many did not return.
In all of the settings I have been in pastoral care needs to be a team effort with members who have a heart to encourage others. It is not just that we need the help, but if they don't live out their spiritual gifts they are also being hurt spiritually. When we have such in our congregation they can be a big help, and a blessing to others. Sometimes they can reach people that I cannot. Sometimes I can reach people they cannot. And whenever possible it is good to take someone else to visit with us. This can be those who are local leaders, to help model, and sometimes learn from them. It can also be young people who are growing in Christ, if they have a heart for it. Those have been some of the best visits, where young people learned to serve the Lord, care and pray for others, and had a whole new perspective on the wisdom among the members, and the challenges they faced.
There is still the issue that some, if they are visited by anyone other than the pastor, it doesn't count in their mind. And there are visits where you go to them, but you leave drained. And if you visited every week it would not be enough. Those are tough. I try to schedule those around the same time as those members who are so alive in Christ that when you leave you feel better than when you arrived.
As to managing all of the different hats, I think you cannot. Sometimes you may feel like you have to. And as in the pandemic, with technology, maybe you do have to for a short time! But most times we have to ask what is essential, and what is not worth the time. And sometimes a few things done with the right heart, and with the Spirit, does more than many things where we are so spread out we forget what we are doing.
If you are having trouble in your congregations with expectations and people feeling you are not doing your task, even though you are pouring everything into it, there can be various reasons.
Paidiske mentioned that in many churches it is not just fostering ministry, spiritual growth, shepherding, but in many cases you inherit a church in decline. They expect the good old days to come back. But you can be too focused on the good old days behind, and not see the good days ahead which may look different. They expect leadership to turn it around. But it is not leadership that turns it around. It is everyone being fully on board again for God, and that may take time to work through past hurts, focus on what He wants now, eliminate things from the past that just don't work any more, etc. Buy in is important. Some times that means taking time to look at just how far things have gotten off track, and where they are heading if it doesn't change. And that may include turnaround if folks are faithful. It may also include closure, because they are not willing, or not able to do it any longer. I would try to take time at first to fully embrace the past history of ministry in the Lord that the church had carried out. They want you to turn it around, but they also want you to understand how the Lord worked there before. Then by talking through that history, you can also start to discuss together where the fire was lost. And if there were conflicts, you can start to appeal to those who may still hold resentment. Usually by that point it becomes clear whether holding on to resentment is more important than opening to a new thing from God, or whether they have a desire to move forward.
If you frequently find that those conversations can't happen without blow-ups, it may mean significant past conflict. Or it could just mean they never gave much thought to what it means to work out their spiritual gifts, or work in a supportive way with a minister. That may mean you have a rough time of adjustment. But if you make it through then talk with them about building a team that can support you while understanding your concerns and limitations, and needs, and that can help the next pastor that the Lord brings after you leave.
Sometimes for me it means recognizing my weak areas. I have some areas I am strong in. I am terrible at administration. I let folks know right away that is not my strong point. That may sound like it would turn folks off, but it usually doesn't. I find those who are good at it and ask for their help. Some folks who can often be good at this are those kind of prickly, abrupt, demanding people who want you to have it all together, and who at times are flat out rude. They tend to be people who step on folks without realizing it. Often the congregation avoids them. But since they are going to criticize you anyway, enlist them! Then they work with you to keep you on task, help with administration, etc. Suddenly that stickler for details attitude is aimed at the task, instead of you. And hopefully you can work with them on how not to come across as harsh in the meantime. They tend to be very dedicated people, just lacking in a bit of tact.
Advice I received that really helped in later times for me was to put it all on the table up front as to what the expectations are on the personal level. On the congregational level you may not have any idea where God is leading yet, and they may not either (or they might!). But on the personal level agreeing right from the first meetings, before the positions starts, what tasks they expect, what time requirements you expect, is important. Some things may change over time, but at least then there is no initial confusion. In congregational setting that might mean there is not a match, and you move on. But often it means you can have those conversations when they expect to have a feeling out period. You also usually get a bit of grace right at the beginning from folks, unless there is a pretty toxic culture. So use that initial time to be up front. Then people know what to expect. Even in a denomination which assigns people to a church, where the clergy may not have much choice where they go (was in one of those too at one point), it is best to state expectations up front. Worst case scenario most denominational leaders are able to recognize when they don't have a good match and make other arrangements.
You cannot always totally change a system they have used for years. But you might suggest tweaks that can really free up your time, and make their time more effective. In some churches I have been in the entire church (usually small) makes decisions in a session. In others they had a board that directed most things, but would bring larger decisions to the congregation. In almost all of those they had smaller committees, boards, etc. Try and figure out which committees you don't need to be on, or that might benefit from not having you on them. We sometimes feel like we have to be in the know on everything. But sometimes we just want the control. If you have trained leaders, let them lead. We had one church where the board would decide at great length every little decision, even though they had 10 committees that reported to the board. It wasted time and frustrated people. So instead we decided that the church board would only handle items that involved the entire church, or that involved outreach. Everything else could be handled in committees who would briefly report. And we enabled the folks in charge of finances to stop having formal meetings and just meet on the phone to handle whatever they needed at the time, and only bring large items. When people came to the board meeting knowing they were going to be talking about how to reach people for Christ, instead of every business decision, they wanted to be there. Some committees I found I still needed to be on, and some I didn't.
One of the biggest benefits I have found is in small group meetings. This can be in the home, or at the church, though usually they work best in a home. People need somewhere to learn how to grow in the faith. Meeting with other believers gives opportunities for fellowship, support, learning, modeling, etc. The ones I was in that really worked formed very close bond, brought in non-believers who learned of Christ, and multiplied.
As a pastor if you attend these groups you get regular time with people to interact, and if the group allows for close sharing, they often get in to very personal discussion of spiritual needs, prayer, encouragement, confession, etc.
Some of them also paired people into prayer partners for more support. Having a mix of ages helped because the more experienced in the faith could take younger ones under their wings. Because they grow close to one another they begin to look out for one another without having to develop a formal system. Long term this works better than formal visitation systems, though those can also be helpful. The groups can also take on their own outreach or service projects, fellowship events, etc. They become almost like small churches themselves.
That last part is a challenge for some pastors. I talked to one pastor who loved the idea of small groups, but was afraid of it forming a church split, etc. He therefore limited them. But after he retired his son (not the head pastor) started such groups, and they were a great blessing. Don't try to control too much! (As was already discussed in the thread, this doesn't mean you don't have to screen people, and do training to explain abuse reporting, avoidance, etc.).
Be sure to take time during your main service to explain to people what taking the next spiritual step might look like. Are you attending services? The next step might be to join a group. Are you attending services and a group? Then find a ministry. Reminding people gives them opportunities to pursue that.
Finally, let folks know you are permission giving, rather than requiring clearance. If God is placing a burden on someone to do a ministry, find a way to not only say yes, but support them, unless you just know that they are misguided or harmful.
