Theology and Pipe Smoking

[JM]

Theology and Pipe Smoking: Meditations on the Queen of Sciences and the Noble Weed, in Three Parts. « theophiliacs

Back before fundamentalism caused much of American Christianity to go off the moral deep end and get caught in up in a fevered attempt to demonize a whole series of behaviors that are morally neutral, pipe smoking was seen as a very decent and proper thing for a theologian (& anyone else) to do. In many Christian communities which successfully fought off the tendency to condemn everything, pipe smoking has always and continues to be appreciated for the benefits it brings to moments of relaxation, conversation, and mental clarity.​

 

[JM]

by Rev. Ralph Erskine

This Indian weed now wither´d quite,
Though green at noon, cut down at night,
Shows thy decay;
All flesh is hay.
Thus think, and smoke tobacco.
The pipe so lily-like and weak,
Does thus thy mortal state bespeak.
Thou are ev´n such,
Gone with a touch.
Thus think, and smoke tobacco.
All when the smoke ascends on high,
Then thou behold´st the vanity
Of worldly stuff,
Gone with a puff.
Thus think, and smoke tobacco.
And when the pipe grows foul within,
Think on thy soul defil´d with sin;
For then the fire,
It does require.
Thus think, and smoke tobacco.
And seest the ashes cast away;
Then to thyself thou mayest say,
That to the dust
Return thou must.
Thus think, and smoke tobacco.


Part II


Was this small plant for thee cut down?
So was the Plant of great renown;
Which mercy sends
For nobler ends.
Thus think, and smoke tobacco.
Doth juice medicinal proceed
From such a naughty foreign weed?
Then what´s the pow´r
Of Jesse´s flow´r?
Thus think, and smoke tobacco.
The promise, like the pipe inlays,
And by the mouth of faith conveys
What virtue flows
From Sharon´s rose.
Thus think, and smoke tobacco.
In vain the´unlighted pipe you blow;
Your pains in outward means are so,
Till heav´nly fire
The heart inspire.
Thus think, and smoke tobacco.
The smoke, like burning incense, tow´rs;
So should a praying heart of yours,
With ardent cries,
Surmont the skies.
Thus think, and smoke tobacco.”

 

[gord44]

haha awesome! do you smoke a pipe old bean?

 

[JM]

Not yet. I've been looking for a Missouri Meerschaum in my area but it looks like I'll have to order it online. I post on the Puritan Board and Badger and Blade, both sites recommended these pipes for newbs, less prep and less cost, yet a good smoker.

Do you smoke?

 

[twin1954]

Its not the pipe that makes most newbs quit it is the tobacco they use. Ask the tobacconist for a mild smoke. Many start out with something like a cherry or vanilla flavored tobacco and those are two of the most biting. Be prepared for a sore tongue at first even with a mild tobacco. Use a wooden match to light your pipe as you get an even light and no fuel flavor from a lighter. Pack it just slightly less tight than a cigarette and leave it about an eighth of an inch down from the top of the bowl. It is much easier to light that way. Moisture will build up in the stem but it isn't spit it is condensation from the hot smoke hitting the cold air. I would recommend that you try a church warden pipe first. The long stem makes for a very cool smoke with a lot of flavor. It is usually recommended that you get more than one pipe if you are going to smoke it more than once a day. When you are done with it never lay it down with the stem lower than the bowl. The condensation will run down the stem and make for a bad taste in your mouth the next time you pick it up. Always lay your pipe down with the stem up. I have several rather expensive pipes that I rarely smoke but only because they aren't that good a smoke. I use a Dr Grabow most often and have probably fifty of them. Another good pipe that ranges from expensive to reasonable is a Carey pipe. But the best I have ever smoked is a corncob pipe. You simply can't beat them. Enjoy!

 

[JM]

Thanks Twin for the advice. Honestly, I don't plan to smoke a pipe often, almost never, just the rare occasion I visit my pipe smoking buddy. I've read in the forums that a lot of guys buy pipes from ebay and clean them up. Any idea on how to do this? I found a Brair pipe that is up for $1.49 that I'm thinking about bidding on.

I'll keep looking for a cob pipe in the meantime.

 

[gord44]

i don't smoke. but this pipe talk has made me want to give it a go. something about sitting on the sofa, smoking a pipe and reading the Bible that intrigues me. my wife thinks its a great idea. gonna hit a smoke shop tomorrow.

 

[JM]

Let us know what you buy. In my area we have no smoke shops and pipes are not sold in corner stores, etc. I'm not sure where I'll get one but I'll keep looking.

 

[twin1954]

A couple more tips:
The secret to keeping a pipe lit is to keep packing it wiht a pipe tool.( I use my finger) You can buy one but a golf tee works great. Never unload your pipe by bumping it against something. You can easily crack the bowl when it is hot, especially a meershaum pipe. Allow your pipe to build up a resin in the bowl. It makes the pipe better. Scrape it out only when you can no longer get your finger in the bowl. Also if you don't smoke it for a while the tobacco will get dry and harsh. The remedy is to put an apple core in it. The tobacco absorbs the moisture from the core and stays perfectly in case and ready to smoke.

 

[twin1954]

Thanks Twin for the advice. Honestly, I don't plan to smoke a pipe often, almost never, just the rare occasion I visit my pipe smoking buddy. I've read in the forums that a lot of guys buy pipes from ebay and clean them up. Any idea on how to do this? I found a briar pipe that is up for $1.49 that I'm thinking about bidding on.

I'll keep looking for a cob pipe in the meantime.

You can buy a pipe sweetner-spray that cleans them up pretty well. Most used pipes haven't been taken very good care of and have a resin build up in the stem. Use the pipe sweetner and several bristle type pipe cleaners and it should come out ok. Always let it dry well before smoking it.

 

[twin1954]

The pipe you are looking at hasn't been smoked very much and is in good condition. I wouldn't venture a guess as to who made it but it is certainly worth more than a couple of bucks. I prefer a bent stem pipe because it isn't up in your face all the time and just looks cooler. You wouldn't need to do any real clean up of it just disinfect it with alcohol along the stem. Run a pipe cleaner through it a few times with alcohol on it as well. The alcohol evaporates quickly and will not get it too wet. But if you can find it use the pipe sweetner I mentioned as well.

 

[JM]

Thanks twin, I'll keep you updated.

 

[gord44]

i picked up a corn cob pipe for $10 at the local smoke shop. a good starter pipe. the guy there had lots of nice wooden ones. there is a really cool bent one that was $35, but i figured I would start cheap to see how I like it. about to go outside and give it a whirl!

 

[TheOldLine]

I suggest cigars as well, has the same "calming" nature as pipe smoking. Also easier to get into, just bite/cut, light and puff! you're good!

 

[JM]

I liked cigars about 15 years ago but aren't they more addictive and worse for you then pipe tobacco?

 

[JM]

i picked up a corn cob pipe for $10 at the local smoke shop. a good starter pipe. the guy there had lots of nice wooden ones. there is a really cool bent one that was $35, but i figured I would start cheap to see how I like it. about to go outside and give it a whirl!

Let us know how it goes. Is it a Missouri Meerschaum?

 

[gord44]

it is a Missouri Meerschaum.

<---- exact one i got.

I enjoyed my first smoke. I smoked it in my backyard with my wife while I read some Psalms and drank a Moosehead beer. Quite relaxing.

 

[JM]

&#x202a;Handcrafted Churchwarden Pipe - My First and not Last&#x202c;&rlm; - YouTube

 

[JM]

“The Moral Statistician” by Mark Twain:

I hate your kind of people. You are always ciphering out how much a man’s health is injured, and how much his intellect is impaired, and how many pitiful dollars and cents he wastes in the course of ninety-two years’ indulgence in the fatal practice of smoking; and in the equally fatal practice of drinking coffee; and in playing billiards occasionally; and in taking a glass of wine at dinner, etc. etc. And you are always figuring out how many women have been burned to death because of the dangerous fashion of wearing expansive hoops, etc. etc. You never see more than one side of the question.
You are blind to the fact that most old men in America smoke and drink coffee, although, according to your theory, they ought to have died young; and that hearty old Englishmen drink wine and survive it, and portly old Dutchmen both drink and smoke freely, and yet grow older and fatter all the time. And you never try to find out how much solid comfort, relaxation, and enjoyment a man derives from smoking in the course of a lifetime (which is worth ten times the money he would save by letting it alone), nor the appalling aggregate of happiness lost in a lifetime by your kind of people from not smoking. Of course you can save money by denying yourself all those little vicious enjoyments for fifty years; but then what can you do with it? What use can you put it to? Money can’t save your infinitesimal soul. All the use that money can be put to is to purchase comfort and enjoyment in this life; therefore, as you are an enemy to comfort and enjoyment where is the use of accumulating cash?

It won’t do for you to say that you can use it to better purpose in furnishing a good table, and in charities, and in supporting tract societies, because you know yourself that you people who have no petty vices are never known to give away a cent, and that you stint yourselves so in the matter of food that you are always feeble and hungry. And you never dare to laugh in the daytime for fear some poor wretch, seeing you in a good humor, will try to borrow a dollar of you; and in church you are always down on your knees, with your ears buried in the cushion, when the contribution-box comes around; and you never give the revenue officers a full statement of your income.

Now you know all these things yourself, don’t you? Very well, then, what is the use of your stringing out your miserable lives to a lean and withered old age? What is the use of your saving money that is so utterly worthless to you? In a word, why don’t you go off somewhere and die, and not be always trying to seduce people into becoming as ornery and unlovable as you are yourselves, by your villainous “moral statistics”?
Now, I don’t approve of dissipation, and I don’t indulge in it either; but I haven’t a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices. And so I don’t want to hear from you any more. I think you are the very same man who read me a long lecture last week about the degrading vice of smoking cigars, and then came back, in my absence, with your reprehensible fire-proof gloves on, and carried off my beautiful parlor stove.​

 

[Walter Kovacs]

I liked cigars about 15 years ago but aren't they more addictive and worse for you then pipe tobacco?

I would say no on both counts, having never heard of or met anyone addicted to cigars. As for the health issues, honestly, a stack of pancakes with syrup is about 10X worse for you than a cigar.