The goal of this thread: be the biggest strawman for your position you can be. I'll start us off, but remember, this is for fun, and take no argument given by anyone seriously. But first, I will provide some basic strawman traits for people to work with if they can't think of any.
For atheists that support evolution: strawmen atheists are extremely smug, pretend to be smarter than everyone else, and range from passive aggressive to flat out evil. As atheists have no god to guide their morals, all strawman atheists must embody immorality in some way (alcoholism and general lustiness are common). If a strawman atheist has a family, it is dysfunctional in some regard unless they are the only atheist in the family. Despite claiming to be atheists, strawman atheists often break the actual definition of atheism and do worship pagan gods, Satan, or themselves, and many believe in heaven and hell. If a strawman atheist claims to have been a theist in the past, they were never a true believer. Atheist strawman tend to be extremely liberal, and many are socialists and communists.
For atheists that don't support evolution: Hahahaha, as if there is a single atheist that isn't an evolution supporter. Ha.
For theists that do support evolution: The strawman evolution supporting theist is misguided, a hypocrite, and/or not a true believer. As compromises are unacceptable in such a polarizing issue, theists that support evolution are also sinners, though not so overtly as atheists are. Regardless of their faith, they are hellbound installers of doubt within the creationist community, and must be converted fully or exiled. As far as a strawman atheist is concerned, there is no difference between a theist that agrees with them and one that doesn't, resulting in friendly fire. These strawmen never last in debates long, as they are unwilling to make a firm stance on their position. They are weak willed and overly polite.
For creationist theists. A creationist theist strawman is uneducated and stupid. Any argument they use was disproven decades ago, parroted from an apologist, or both. These strawmen will become angry at the presence of long words, because they don't understand them. And all creationist strawmen fear and hate what they don't understand. They pity evolution supporting theists that have "lost their way", and despise atheists. The strawman creationist is also a racist and a misogynist, while retaining a self-righteous attitude. They also tend to be xenophobic, and almost all of them are heavily right leaning on the political scale. Questioning their beliefs is questioning the almighty god himself, and is to be responded to with aggression.
So it begins.
Evolution is true because creationism is obviously false. No one's ever seen a magical creator create anything, these are just fairy-tales for adults. And since no one has been able to measure a god, gods must not exist. Except as concepts in the minds of humans.
Evolution was devised by Charles Darwin, a well educated man that lived during the 1800s. Obviously, his words carry much more weight than barely literate goat herders that lived thousands of years ago, just on the basis of his education alone. So, being a creationist means that you trust ignorant people over intelligent people, and that doesn't seem very intelligent for people that believe in intelligent design to do.
I dare any creationist to challenge my infallible logic, the logic which I worship at my Evolution shrine every morning
all hail science and logic
