The Strawman Thread

PsychoSarah

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The goal of this thread: be the biggest strawman for your position you can be. I'll start us off, but remember, this is for fun, and take no argument given by anyone seriously. But first, I will provide some basic strawman traits for people to work with if they can't think of any.

For atheists that support evolution: strawmen atheists are extremely smug, pretend to be smarter than everyone else, and range from passive aggressive to flat out evil. As atheists have no god to guide their morals, all strawman atheists must embody immorality in some way (alcoholism and general lustiness are common). If a strawman atheist has a family, it is dysfunctional in some regard unless they are the only atheist in the family. Despite claiming to be atheists, strawman atheists often break the actual definition of atheism and do worship pagan gods, Satan, or themselves, and many believe in heaven and hell. If a strawman atheist claims to have been a theist in the past, they were never a true believer. Atheist strawman tend to be extremely liberal, and many are socialists and communists.

For atheists that don't support evolution: Hahahaha, as if there is a single atheist that isn't an evolution supporter. Ha.

For theists that do support evolution: The strawman evolution supporting theist is misguided, a hypocrite, and/or not a true believer. As compromises are unacceptable in such a polarizing issue, theists that support evolution are also sinners, though not so overtly as atheists are. Regardless of their faith, they are hellbound installers of doubt within the creationist community, and must be converted fully or exiled. As far as a strawman atheist is concerned, there is no difference between a theist that agrees with them and one that doesn't, resulting in friendly fire. These strawmen never last in debates long, as they are unwilling to make a firm stance on their position. They are weak willed and overly polite.

For creationist theists. A creationist theist strawman is uneducated and stupid. Any argument they use was disproven decades ago, parroted from an apologist, or both. These strawmen will become angry at the presence of long words, because they don't understand them. And all creationist strawmen fear and hate what they don't understand. They pity evolution supporting theists that have "lost their way", and despise atheists. The strawman creationist is also a racist and a misogynist, while retaining a self-righteous attitude. They also tend to be xenophobic, and almost all of them are heavily right leaning on the political scale. Questioning their beliefs is questioning the almighty god himself, and is to be responded to with aggression.





So it begins.

Evolution is true because creationism is obviously false. No one's ever seen a magical creator create anything, these are just fairy-tales for adults. And since no one has been able to measure a god, gods must not exist. Except as concepts in the minds of humans.

Evolution was devised by Charles Darwin, a well educated man that lived during the 1800s. Obviously, his words carry much more weight than barely literate goat herders that lived thousands of years ago, just on the basis of his education alone. So, being a creationist means that you trust ignorant people over intelligent people, and that doesn't seem very intelligent for people that believe in intelligent design to do.

I dare any creationist to challenge my infallible logic, the logic which I worship at my Evolution shrine every morning :bow: all hail science and logic
 
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Winken

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The goal of this thread: be the biggest strawman for your position you can be. I'll start us off, but remember, this is for fun, and take no argument given by anyone seriously. So it begins.

Creationism is true because evolution is obviously false. No one's ever seen evolution create anything, it is just fairy-tales. And since no one has been able to measure origins, evolution cannot exist. (Except in the minds of humans.)

Evolution was hatched in the mind of Charles Darwin, a secularly well educated man that lived during the 1800s. Obviously, his words carry far less weight than that of our Creator, God, on the basis of the Bible, alone. So, being a Christian means that you trust God's revelation in Scripture over intellectualism. It isn't Spiritual not to do that, trusting human creation rather than THE Creator.

I dare any evolutionist to challenge HIS infallibility, our Creator whom I worship in prayer and lifestyle every day. All Hail Jesus, Savior!:clap:
 
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SkyWriting

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No one's ever seen a magical creator create anything, these are just fairy-tales for adults.

God has dramatically answered my prayers on a few
occasions when I opened my prayer to His will.
But me "opened my prayer to His will" is only in
my ability to know and experience. Others must
do the work themselves.
 
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PsychoSarah

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If we're from monkeys, why do monkeys still exist?
An excellent question. It pains me that some people would rather stay unevolved creationist monkeys than just evolve into evolution supporting humans like me. Clearly, I am the standard all of humanity should want to reach, but can't, because religion is holding them back.

I'd really like to give you a good answer, but I am too busy being condescending and watching gay inappropriate content with my atheist friends and drinking alcohol. You know, all the fun stuff you can't do because you keep smacking yourself over the head with the bible.
 
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Winken

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God has dramatically answered my prayers on a few
occasions when I opened my prayer to His will.
But me "opened my prayer to His will" is only in
my ability to know and experience. Others must
do the work themselves.
Only in HIS ability, which never fails.
 
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PsychoSarah

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God has dramatically answered my prayers on a few
occasions when I opened my prayer to His will.
But me "opened my prayer to His will" is only in
my ability to know and experience. Others must
do the work themselves.
A reminder that replies to strawman arguments in this thread should also be strawman arguments. If you don't personally consider the argument you are about to post to be terrible and flawed, it might not qualify for this thread, and you shouldn't post it.
 
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Occams Barber

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An excellent question. It pains me that some people would rather stay unevolved creationist monkeys than just evolve into evolution supporting humans like me. Clearly, I am the standard all of humanity should want to reach, but can't, because religion is holding them back.

I'd really like to give you a good answer, but I am too busy being condescending and watching gay inappropriate content with my atheist friends and drinking alcohol. You know, all the fun stuff you can't do because you keep smacking yourself over the head with the bible.

Don't forget to tell them about the Fried Kitten Sandwiches on the Specials Menu at the Atheist Club & Laundromat.:eek:
OB
 
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PsychoSarah

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Creationism is true because evolution is obviously false. No one's ever seen evolution create anything, it is just fairy-tales. And since no one has been able to measure origins, evolution cannot exist. (Except in the minds of humans.)

Evolution was hatched in the mind of Charles Darwin, a secularly well educated man that lived during the 1800s. Obviously, his words carry far less weight than that of our Creator, God, on the basis of the Bible, alone. So, being a Christian means that you trust God's revelation in Scripture over intellectualism. It isn't Spiritual not to do that, trusting human creation rather than THE Creator.

I dare any evolutionist to challenge HIS infallibility, our Creator whom I worship in prayer and lifestyle every day. All Hail Jesus, Savior!:clap:

Your uncreative reworking of my post to fit your position instead of mine is uncreative, and I am too dense and stubborn to recognize that my post sounded equally illogical and biased as this reworking of it. But I think I am a genius for noticing how flawed your religious version is, and will label out all the flaws:

1. you can see evolution, just look at dogs and wolves. Dogs came from wolves yet are no longer wolves, thus Evolution is right.
2. Charles Darwin started out religious, and became non-religious as he observed the world and realized his beliefs were garbage, duh. Anyone that truly understands Evolution is an atheist.
3. Disease and death exist in this world, so it isn't perfectly created.
 
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PsychoSarah

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Don't forget to tell them about the Fried Kitten Sandwiches on the Specials Menu at the Atheist Club & Laundromat.:eek:
OB
Meh, I much prefer the Hot Dogs made of Real, 100% Dog that died from overheating in a car. That's the only way to get a true, delicious, hot dog. They are now infused with marijuana, so I can knock out the munchies while I am getting high.
 
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PsychoSarah

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You've missed the boat. Bye.
That's okay, because I poked holes in your boat. You should have hired guards to protect Ark 2 from belligerent atheists like me that are too bitter about not getting saved to sit back and let other people get saved.
 
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SkyWriting

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A reminder that replies to strawman arguments in this thread should also be strawman arguments. If you don't personally consider the argument you are about to post to be terrible and flawed, it might not qualify for this thread, and you shouldn't post it.
Sorry.
 
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PsychoSarah

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If creationism is true, shouldn't we all be inbred depressed?

The fact that we aren't shows that the Adam & Eve story is a myth.
Be a strawman for YOUR position, AV. Consider how consol views religious people, and embody it.
 
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PsychoSarah

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-_- it is in the OP: "The goal of this thread: be the biggest strawman for your position you can be. I'll start us off, but remember, this is for fun, and take no argument given by anyone seriously."

That means your posts should be strawman arguments, made to the best of your ability, for your position (either creationist or evolution supporter)
 
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