The pastors try to ride my back.

[Zhivko]

Hello,

I've been going to a church for more then 10 years. At first the pastors treated me well. At some time, they asked me to help in the church and I helped.

But at some time the pastors began not to ask me for help, but to give me commands, saying that in the bible it is written that I must obbey the pastors. Those commands were to do some common work in the church. I felt not like going to a church, but like going to a workplace that I don't like.

Some of the new people that started coming to the church thought I'm some kind of laborer there and treated me very badly, trying to give me commands too.

I talked with the pastor and he said I'm not obliged to obbey him, but if I was a true christian I would feel obliged to help in the church. I think he abuses my good nature and my readiness to help people in need when I can.

In my opinion the pastors are trying to ride my back, treating me like their slave.

I feel guilt when I don't obbey the pastor, because in the bible it is written to obbey him.

How do you think, must a christian always obbey the pastor, no matter what? Or the obedience must be done with knowledge, not litterally doing anything he commands me to do?

 

[Tinker Grey]

Find another church.

 

[Zhivko]

Find another church.

I already go to another church, but I still want to go to the one with the bad pastors, because I want to go to young meetings. Also, I don't think running from the problem is the answer. I think the pastors should change their behavour towards me.

 

[Lost4words]

Shouldnt be like that. Pastor is very wrong.

 

[Tinker Grey]

I already go to another church, but I still want to go to the one with the bad pastors, because I want to go to young meetings. Also, I don't think running from the problem is the answer. I think the pastors should change their behavour towards me.

You live with your choices.

Yes, the pastors should change their behavior toward you. But, they won't. They have a hold on you. "God says you should obey your leaders. We are your leaders. You must obey us ... or make God angry." This is manipulation. Manipulators rarely change.

 

[ToBeLoved]

I already go to another church, but I still want to go to the one with the bad pastors, because I want to go to young meetings. Also, I don't think running from the problem is the answer. I think the pastors should change their behavour towards me.

Your not going to change anyone's bad behavior. That is God's job and the Holy Spirit to convict them of sin if they are sinning or in error.

Somehow you need to be able to "just say no" if you want to continue going to the young meetings.

To "let go" of your desire to want to change the pastor or his treatment of you. What you need to do is focus on yourself who is the one you can change.

Just say "no". You do not have to explain yourself or try to change anyone. Just say "no" to any type of help they ask of you and carry on doing God's will.

This is in your control to react in a Biblical way and let go of this. You can do it!

May God bless you and give you the strength to obey His will for your life and find forgiveness.

 

[Zhivko]

@ToBeLoved and @Tinker Grey

Thanks a lot. This really helps.

 

[ToBeLoved]

@ToBeLoved and @Tinker Grey

Thanks a lot. This really helps.

I hope it brings you peace and closure.

The church is to edify us. If your youth meeting edifies you, you should attend at let this go.

God bless you.

 

[Zhivko]

@ToBeLoved

God bless you too.

 

[eleos1954]

Hello,

I've been going to a church for more then 10 years. At first the pastors treated me well. At some time, they asked me to help in the church and I helped.

But at some time the pastors began not to ask me for help, but to give me commands, saying that in the bible it is written that I must obbey the pastors. Those commands were to do some common work in the church. I felt not like going to a church, but like going to a workplace that I don't like.

Some of the new people that started coming to the church thought I'm some kind of laborer there and treated me very badly, trying to give me commands too.

I talked with the pastor and he said I'm not obliged to obbey him, but if I was a true christian I would feel obliged to help in the church. I think he abuses my good nature and my readiness to help people in need when I can.

In my opinion the pastors are trying to ride my back, treating me like their slave.

I feel guilt when I don't obbey the pastor, because in the bible it is written to obbey him.

How do you think, must a christian always obbey the pastor, no matter what? Or the obedience must be done with knowledge, not litterally doing anything he commands me to do?

One should only do what they are happy in their heart to do. You don't have to obey your pastor or any man ... that's baloney. Ask the Lord to lead you in how to best serve Him ... happy in the heart .... happy in the heart.

God Bless.

 

[Sanoy]

The Pastor of that church is in an office in which he is responsible for its members. So he is in a higher position of authority than you within those walls and as long as you are there you should respect the Pastors wishes. This would be expected in any institution, you follow the rules of the place you are in. However the command to obey your leaders in Hebrews 13:17 is in reference to the Jewish synagogue. It cannot be assumed that this command carries the exact same sense in the Gentile house churches. Even if it did it could only carry whatever authority the Jewish priesthood carried. Afaik that authority did not include forcing people to take out the trash.

I would meet privately with the Pastor again and discuss how his behavior makes you feel. That way you can clear any misunderstandings before you make your decision to leave or stay.

 

[Willie T]

It sounds like "the pastors" may know a lot more about you than we do.

 

[OldWiseGuy]

It sounds like "the pastors" may know a lot more about you than we do.

True. Some people have 'victim' written all over them.

 

[Zhivko]

@Willie T , OldWiseGuy

I told the story the way it is.

 

[Basil the Great]

Zhivko - I believe that it is time for you to depart for much greener pastures. I would say that enough is enough!

 

[ToBeLoved]

Zhivko - I believe that it is time for you to depart for much greener pastures. I would say that enough is enough!

But if he is enjoying and being edified by the youth meetings why should he not stay for that.

Just because we are treated badly doesn’t mean we cannot control how we respond and our part of the interaction.

I think most of us have had an issue or disagreement in some way with a pastor.

I see this as a learning moment

 

[com7fy8]

I talked with the pastor and he said I'm not obliged to obbey him, but if I was a true christian I would feel obliged to help in the church.

It depends on what the pastor is saying to do.

Hebrews 13:17 says to obey them who have the rule over us. Of course, ones say this means in the Jewish synagogue. But the writer of Hebrews does not say this. So, you can pray and find out how God has you doing things.

But Christian leaders are ordered >

"nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock." (1 Peter 5:3)

So, my opinion is you do well to have a pastor who you trust and you are feeling honored to be asked by your pastor to do things which can help the pastor. After all, the pastor is for firstly prayer and ministry of the word; so the pastor needs people to help with the practical stuff. And you can get to know the pastor's personal example while cooperating with your pastor. By doing various things around the church, you can get to know how things work and then be able to lead others who are begging you to tell them how they can help.

I still want to go to the one with the bad pastors, because I want to go to young meetings.

Well . . . what about sharing with mature senior Christians who can get to know you so they can see through you and help you get real correction??????? We need our mature seniors who help us get real with God and find out how to relate in God's way with any and all people, in His love with His creativity.

But there can be mature elders who are mentoring a younger pastor, in which case the true pastor of a church could be someone in the back seat. And you become a real example, so you can be a real friend to any members or leaders who need to find out how to love. There are Christian church people who do not give up on ones who do not know how to love. Jesus did not give up on any of His disciples; join His example and enjoy.

 

[Tolworth John]

How do you think, must a christian always obbey the pastor, no matter what? Or the obedience must be done with knowledge, not litterally doing anything he commands me to do?

May I suggest that you ignore all commands from this priest.
If however he asks would you please help. Then help him, otherwise attend the youth work and what ever other church you want to.

 

[Zhivko]

Today I went to the other church. As I came in, I heard an old woman reading the bible out loud. She was reading 1 Peter 2:13 where it says that we must obbey any outhority. Is this a sign from God that I must obbey the pastor, even though he commands me to do all kind of work in the church?

 

[Tinker Grey]

Today I went to the other church. As I came in, I heard an old woman reading the bible out loud. She was reading 1 Peter 2:13 where it says that we must obbey any outhority. Is this a sign from God that I must obbey the pastor, even though he commands me to do all kind of work in the church?

As I think has been noted, this section of the board is open to anyone including non-believers--of which, I am one. If you are find yourself concerned about responses from non-believers, there are sections of this board that are just for Christians. You could open up a new thread there.

That said, as a non-believer I respond: Of course, it is not a sign from God.

More seriously, even if I were to agree with a blanket statement that we should obey authority, you get to choose your authority! At least in this case. I can quit my job. I can leave a church. I can quit a sport if I don't like the referees in that particular league. I could even leave my country if need be. You are your authority in this regard.

Given that you can leave at any time, I think your pastors fail to understand their position ... that their congregation could just walk out. But, if they think you won't do it, they'll continue to abuse their authority.

It's up to you to decide whether the youth group is worth it or not.