But at some time the pastors began not to ask me for help, but to give me commands, saying that in the bible it is written that I must obbey the pastors.
The modern concept and definition of "pastor" is quite a departure from the biblical model. Most are nothing more than CEO hirelings, and many have an authority fixation just like many CEO's.
You know, TRUE leaders are those who don't have to command anyone. Those spiritual giants out there who shine forth the Light of God, they have no problem putting forth their own hands to what needs to be done, and allowing others to join in, and even replace them if there are other more pressing things that need doing.
The modern, institutional "pastor" is a creature unknown to the Bible because it provides no definitive job description for them. Oh yes, there are many assumptions put forth by many about Timothy and others, but in the end, the term "pastor" appears once in the NT in Ephesians. Most OT references to "pastors" are quite negative.
Some of the new people that started coming to the church thought I'm some kind of laborer there and treated me very badly, trying to give me commands too.
Why not simply look at them and say, "Well, I'll be happy to help YOU do that task." That separates the lazy authoritarians from the true lovers of God and His people.
I talked with the pastor and he said I'm not obliged to obbey him, but if I was a true christian I would feel obliged to help in the church. I think he abuses my good nature and my readiness to help people in need when I can.
We all have the option of being suckers or not being suckers to such rhetoric. Look, discipling (feeding the flock) is not at all a matter of ordering others around on tasks that need accomplished in support of a communal facility. If ALL the members who want to benefit from having a stake in that facility aren't willing to do their part, then they're leeches that suck the life out of any thing and any one they can latch onto. Pastoral authority stops at the point of being a sentry guard against heresies that can cause unnecessary divisions and distort the Gospel.
Those so-called "pastors" out there who aren't essentially putting themselves out of a job by effectively bringing up to spiritual maturity ALL of those to whom they minister, then they are simply men who are doing little more than developing a following of perpetually bleeting sheep for themselves that remain at the level of slurping up milk rather than flying like eagles and eating meat.
In my opinion the pastors are trying to ride my back, treating me like their slave.
And yet you remained.....perhaps until now.
I feel guilt when I don't obbey the pastor, because in the bible it is written to obbey him.
You really need to do a deeper study about the biblical model of church leadership authority. You've been sold a bill of goods that is purely authoritarian and man-made, not something God-breathed. Beware, however, what eventually will happen if you DARE to begin obeying the word of God above authoritarian pulpit pounders. By educating yourself on what the Bible actually says, you will be labeled, a "free thinker" and any number of other labels the band wagon folks consider negative. They want you quietly riding along with them, following all the usual cues for how, what and when you should do things, how you should think, and when to jump from one band wagon to another based upon trends and clicks.
Start working on your relationship with the Lord Himself, and then let His light guide you away from the sucker path onto the path of His wisdom and insight into His thoughts and His ways. Just because the Lord said that His thoughts and ways are above ours as the heavens are above the earth, He never did command that we never ask for them.
Jr