I do not take anyone for fools & I know how you've all try to help me & I did appreciate it so much & I did try hard for a while but something just kept dragging me back to the same mind set
Which is why you were absolutely correct to say that you would struggle. If someone has believed something for many years and then suddenly been challenged about that belief - or provided with evidence to the contrary - it will take time to "unlearn" your previous beliefs. Look at Saul of Tarsus; he was a Pharisee, absolutely zealous about his faith, believed that Jesus was a false Messiah and persecuted the Apostles. Then he met Jesus for himself and started preaching that he was the Messiah, but went to Arabia for a while. He needed to think about his new faith. If Jews confronted him and said, "you used to be one of us, what happened?" he needed to understand how the OT prophesied that Jesus was the Messiah. He needed to know the facts to be able to argue against, and maybe persuade, them.
You said that flat earth was a load of nonsense, vowed to
ask the Lord for help if you were struggling and wrote "never mind, I will get there."
Somebody once gave an illustration about sin - though it also applies to any bad habit that has had a hold on us. They said it was like wrapping a rubber band round your finger; you keep doing it and it gets tighter and tighter. After a while it will begin to hurt so you take/cut it off. You experience instant relief, and freedom, but it will take a while for all the marks left by the rubber band to go.
THAT is when you (we) should be asking the Lord for help. If you were only trying in your own strength, then it's not surprising that the fist video that you see on YouTube causes you to give in. You are someone who is, clearly, influenced by what they find on YouTube - and as you have previously searched for clips that promoted a Flat Earth, the computer remembered this (don't ask me how) and thought, "oh, she wants further videos that promote a Flat Earth." That's what I believe that was - NOT God "showing you the truth", but a computer giving you more of the things you had previously looked for.
I guess it's true what they say 'once a flat earther always a flat earther'
Saul of Tarsus could have said, "once a Pharisee, always a Pharisee" - and he had to train far harder to be a Pharisee than you did to be a Flat Earther. But what happened - he met Jesus and saw the Truth.
it's very hard to break away from,
That is why you need to ask the Lord to help you - which you said you would do.
when it came to believing in the globe it was like as if I were trying to make myself believe that which I knew not to be true.
No, you had accepted it was true - hence your statement that you understood that
Flat Earth was a load of rubbish.
All that happened was that you went onto YouTube, were provided with videos that argued against it and accepted them without question. You didn't go looking for them because you didn't need to. If I go onto YouTube now I will see clips, and links, to Christian music, making jewellery, magic tricks, soap clips and so on - because they are things I have searched for in the past. It doesn't mean that I should say "these are coming up for a reason; it is God showing me I should watch more soaps"