The Excuse Game

[gennypearl]

you just gave me your laptop and the browser is still open on your mail. i can't help but read it.

can you prepare an exam for me?

 

[LaSorcia]

I would, but you'd fail.

Let's have a cup of hot cocoa on this cold day.

 

[lucypevensie]

Cocoa on a cold day is wimpy. I want a large peppermint milkshake!

You know, you'd warm up if you just move your body. Do laundry or vacuum or something.

 

[LaSorcia]

The laundry and the vacuuming are done, and the thought of 'or something' makes me feel paralyzed by all the choices.

Why don't you colour your hair red and green for Christmas?

 

[Dirk1540]

I had a violent teenage past where I was a member of a gang that painted their hair red & green. My neighbors are still trying to forgive me and that wouldn't help.

I just fell down on a sheet of ice, please help me up.

 

[LaSorcia]

I can't. I'm too busy laughing!

Why don't you salt your walkway?

 

[Dirk1540]

If salt is some fancy internet shorthand for somersault then yes that's what I did but I landed on my head, why would you ask me to do it again?

I keep falling asleep trying to read, can you make me some coffee?

 

[LaSorcia]

I've actually never brewed a pot of coffee in my entire life, but I'm willing to smack you a few times to keep you awake if that will help.

You should dig out some old DVDs and watch them this evening.

 

[Dirk1540]

I don't bury my DVDs what am I a dog?

Speaking of dogs how can I shut my neighbor's dog up before I lose my mind?

 

[LaSorcia]

I can't tell you how to do that, because this is the excuse game not the advice game.

Think up something I can make an excuse for.

 

[Dirk1540]

Can you please except the fact that I have a quota to break the forum rules at least 4 times per 50 posts?

Go buy me the new iPhone X so I can have the new apps.

 

[LaSorcia]

I just converted to Android yesterday. You're a day too late, or I would have.

Please give me all winner ratings.

 

[Dirk1540]

The Funny ratings that I give to you are the closest that I can come to 'So funny that this member embarrasses herself on every single post!' Winner would be the furthest.

Since you're a Mod, can you create a new 'As always I agree with Dirk' rating?

 

[LaSorcia]

They don't let me do anything around here. I recommended that site ownership be transferred to lucypevensie, and they threatened to fire me.

Please put in a good word for me. Or I'll report one of your posts.

 

[lucypevensie]

I've given them lots of good words about you. Maybe they just don't believe me, I dunno.

I'm really nervous about the possibility of owning this forum.

 

[Dirk1540]

You'll be fine, as long as you don't make a horrible mistake like promoting LaSorcia to a full blown Mod then the site should continue along without a problem.

I missed LaSorcia's earlier post, can someone start sending me a text for every alert I get, like a 2nd line of defense?

 

[LaSorcia]

I'm a text addict, so don't ask me, I had to join TA.

Please give me a mousetrap.

 

[gennypearl]

but you don't have mouse, only cats.

let's exchange gifts.

 

[Quid est Veritas?]

I think my wife bought my gift for me. I don't think she'll like it if I swop it around with some stranger's gift.

It's so hot! Could you help me blot out the Sun?

 

[MrNoodle]

Done.

how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?