The Excuse Game

[Matthew-59]

No, I think the bread should stay in a bit longer... like another day or two.

Can you take out the garbage?

I don't want to take the garbage out because it smells so nice. It makes a good air freshener for the house.

Make some popcorn.

 

[Daughter of His]

sorry, I already did that today and put the popper away, too lazy to take it out again

Would you get me a glass of ice water?

 

[MissRowy]

I would but there is no ice to put in the water!

make me a sandwich!

 

[Matthew-59]

I have no idea what you would like on your sandwich. Perhaps some skunk meat, moldy mozzarella cheese, rotten tomato, and just a sprinkle of chili pepper on top of six month old mayo. Sound good?

Make some organic chai tea.

 

[Kaseye330]

I can't because it's part of the garbage that's making the house smell so great

Now go paint the rooms in that house

 

[Daughter of His]

I don't paint the smell gives me a headache

Hey would you vacuum for me?

 

[lucypevensie]

Vacuums are too noisy and I want peace and quiet.

Buy me a bike for Christmas.

 

[Kaseye330]

Sorry the store was out of wheels

Can you make me a chicken dinner? I'm starving

 

[MissRowy]

Sorry ran out of chicken and all the store had left was mutton

get me some tissues

 

[lucypevensie]

No, not when you could substitute toilet paper.

Put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher.

 

[MissRowy]

Sorry the dishwasher is full and smells funny

put my empty cans in the recycling for me

 

[Matthew-59]

I can't do that because I don't believe in recycling.

My computer is getting old, so buy me a new one.

 

[lucypevensie]

Mine is older than yours. If anything, you should be buying me a new one.

Help me with this confusing math.

 

[MissRowy]

one plus one equals two and two plus two equals four...there I helped you...

drive me to the bowling club please

 

[razeontherock]

I'm scared they'll club me

Will you buy me a new car? (Or at least a custom bowling ball?)

 

[joyshirley]

I would if I could, but alas - cashless.

Will you paint the outside of my house?

 

[lucypevensie]

But I like the color of your house and don't want any other color.

Do some data entry for me today

 

[Daughter of His]

Nah, I might mess it up, you'd better do it yourself.

I need help baking some Christmas cookies!!

 

[Kaseye330]

I just eat them, I don't bake them

Can you wash my car?

 

[brinny]

rain does a better job, honest

can you get rid o' this mouse runnin' around my house?