The Coffee Shop (6)

[Arianna]

Sorry your feeling bad Katey - What are you going to be doing today? Is there anyone you can call to talk to?

 

[katey]

sorry everyone not great company but i thought i'd pop in and try and relax a bit n might end up in tears so am apologising in advance! i ended up going out today with my mum sister and my mums new man who i'm having major trouble gettin to feel comforatble with right now. i had big issues wen she first starting going out with him n brining him bk # the house because she didnt tell me about him. n it just ddint feel right. but i went along today, i thought i'd better make an effort n try see how it goes so we played happy fmailies! yeah great! its just completly messd with my head htough!

n e way. sorry for my little moan there.
hows everyone doing?

 

[LovesEnduringPromise]

I'm back... :-S I keep disappearing, sorry - that is, if someone noticed that I've not been around. Heh.

Ari, where'd you go to? if you don't mind me asking. And how are you doing?

And how is everyone else doing?

I'm doing alright, I've been losing weight at a rather alarming rate, but it's lovely and I'm fine with it. Sadly, though, it's exacerbating my ED tendencies - counting calories, planning to eat less and less each day (I've kind of lost that yesterday and today, I've actually eaten what I'm supposed to eat...) but usually I'm around starvation diet, which isn't good. Gahh. It's as though I can never get away from this!!

On the plus side, I ordered some ED books from Amazon.com, one of which is one that I think everyone in here should read - an inspiring book about recovery (author's memoirs and thoughts on EDs). It's called It's Not About the Weight, but I forget who it's by. I'm quite excited to read it, though!

/me gets some peach tea ready for herself, and wonders if she can get a drink for anyone else?

* Arnold feels left out and forgotten :-(

Im praying for you!!! April you can pull through. Dont let Satan win this battle against you. He has come to steal our joy and keep us depressed and ultimately die in destroying ourselves. We can fight this. I was triggered a couple days ago and I ate(binged) that day because i felt so horrible and thought 'screw it' and thought in my mind a'binge and purge' was what I needed and I felt like I should just give up and start purging again and restricting....and after I binged I went into the bathroom...knelt in front of the toilet......stuck my fingers down my throat....but right before I forced myself I heard this voice in my head "Your worth more than this." My fingers slid out of my throat.....and I slumped down, head in hands sobbing....the voice jolted back "Pray Sabrina. I am here. I am listening." And I just realized that it was the Lord....the Lord spoke to me....and he showed me how wrong giving into this disorder is.....that he has something better for us...if we can only see it through our pain.

 

[LovesEnduringPromise]

Hi April and Arnold of course!!! (How are you Arnold? .. we always wonder what you're doing when you aren't eating the bamboo chairs in here!)

April, try to look after yourself and make sure your eating what you are supposed to be

I just went to the sea for a few days .. but it wasn't really as relaxing as it could have been as I spent most of the time I was there trying to work.

I'm doing ok..ish... ..today feels ok, yesterday was horrible...yesterday was ## weeks without cutting.. so I just have one more week to go until a year.. but then, what after that? Do I just have to keep this up forever:-( ..? keep resisting forever :-( I really really can't do that... I need to give in soon. :-( Confused and fed up with me. I don't really seem to have made much progress in the last year .... i should feel different. Shouldn't feel like this.

You can do this! You can find another way, a healthier way to let out your emotions rather than cutting. I know the urge is hard, and it seems as if nothing gives you that rush and push tension at ease when you cut. But there are other things, God is there, beside you, and it hurts him to see you mutilate yourself. Your worth more than the blades and voices in your head telling you how good it feels, encouraging you to cut. Fight fight fight!!!!!!!!!!! Defeat it. And youll have victory in Jesus.

 

[Soulwings]

Yey for a year, Ari!! *dances* I know it doesn't feel great right now, but it is indeed a huge accomplishment. Resisting is going to need to continue - I've been told that the triggers come up all the rest of our lives - but we get stronger and stronger as we resist more and more, and eventually we'll just be able to push out the triggering thoughts and urges and ignore them. So hang in there, beautiful.

/me snuggles everyone else.

* Arnold thanks Katey for the bamboo muffins, and snuggles everyone before offering the muffins to everyone for samples. Molly is bouncing and squeaking on Katey's shoulder thanking her for the surprise!!

 

[BrokenForHim]

woowooo I'm so stoked ladies, I just got my monroe piercing!! yay I loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeee it

 

[beckybooiloveu]

well... I am officially an adult... yay... lol.. i can go out and party with all my friends now... and can by my own drinks from the bottle shop... and I can vote (which im not sure I want to do because i know nothing about politics... lol...
anyways... im praying for you all... *HUGS*

 

[MyaShane]

Happy Birthday Bec and welcome to adulthood! Have fun with your parties, but do be careful!

Hope you're doing a bit better Katey!

Ari - so glad you're back. How are you?

You, too April! Glad to hear about the weight loss for your sake. Be careful though, ok?

Hey Lindz. Interesting piercing (I had to Google it!) How are you?

Sabrina!! I'm so proud of you! Keep stong!

 

[LovesEnduringPromise]

well... I am officially an adult... yay... lol.. i can go out and party with all my friends now... and can by my own drinks from the bottle shop... and I can vote (which im not sure I want to do because i know nothing about politics... lol...
anyways... im praying for you all... *HUGS*

Be careful!!! Happy late birthday

 

[LovesEnduringPromise]

Happy Birthday Bec and welcome to adulthood! Have fun with your parties, but do be careful!

Hope you're doing a bit better Katey!

Ari - so glad you're back. How are you?

You, too April! Glad to hear about the weight loss for your sake. Be careful though, ok?

Hey Lindz. Interesting piercing (I had to Google it!) How are you?

Sabrina!! I'm so proud of you! Keep stong!

Thanks!!! Im trying! The Lord deserves all the praise and thanks.

 

[LovesEnduringPromise]

How are you MyaShane?

 

[MyaShane]

How are you MyaShane?

Not bad overall. Trying to talk myself into having a little breakfast. It's one of the things I really struggle with . I guess I think that if I don't eat breakfast, I'm that much more ahead of the game or something... . I don't know...my own weird head games I guess.

 

[Arianna]

Thanks Sabrina, and April ........
..........although I just know i'm going to fail and let everyone down and make you all hate me, and mb it will be quite soon :-(

Hi Kerin, how are things going? hope you managed to have some breakfast.
I'm ok...busy worrying that i'm going to fail the paper i'm writing ... i'm too worried to write it ..which isn't very helpful!

 

[LovesEnduringPromise]

Not bad overall. Trying to talk myself into having a little breakfast. It's one of the things I really struggle with . I guess I think that if I don't eat breakfast, I'm that much more ahead of the game or something... . I don't know...my own weird head games I guess.

You need to give yourself breakfast and every meal! Dont struggle with whether or not to do it, because it is a battle many of us lose. Just wake up in the morning and allow yourself to eat breakfast, dont think on it, do it! Its what I have to do. I have to pre-plan my meals, plan what I am going to have(a decent amount and nutritious) and pledge to myself and God(which helps alot because I hate to break what I have promised to the Lord) that I WILL eat all that is in front of me and KNOW my body needs this food. Accept the food and take it willingly without a fight in my head. Ignore the voice, push it back while I take in the food. Every morsel I put in my body I close up the voice. I tell the voice I am stronger, I am willing to do this for God and my health.

 

[LovesEnduringPromise]

Thanks Sabrina, and April ........
..........although I just know i'm going to fail and let everyone down and make you all hate me, and mb it will be quite soon :-(

Hi Kerin, how are things going? hope you managed to have some breakfast.
I'm ok...busy worrying that i'm going to fail the paper i'm writing ... i'm too worried to write it ..which isn't very helpful!

DONT think your going to fail. That is usually how we end up failing is when we put negative aspects on things. THINK you can do this, and if then do you fail you will have started out positive..and overtime that positive attitude builds up and you can become stonger over those voices in your head.

 

[BrokenForHim]

darling, you can beat this. I know you can because you have been through hell living with this, you've been through to much to let it defeat you..

<<<<posted of pic of the monroe dodad>>>>>>

 

[LovesEnduringPromise]

Your very pretty BrokenforHim. Your piercing looks good also.

 

[BrokenForHim]

atleast somebody think so

 

[beckybooiloveu]

many people think so hun... *HUGS*
im... not well... am so unbevievably stressed I keep bursting into tears and not being able to breathe... and i keep passing out when ever I walk anywhere... please pray for me...

 

[BrokenForHim]

praying for you doll face