“Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. “
Hebrews 13:4
It sure seems that the writer of Hebrews was really worried about the purity of Church. So that to say the Church should preach Christ is a half truth. Yes the most important message is the Gospel of Christ. But just reading II Timothy 2:20-26; tells me it is important to be a vessel of honor in the House of God. Verse 22 states flee youthful lusts, in other words in today‘s English by any means possible stay pure IMHO few people have this gift of celibacy the Church preaches so harshly to us SINgles. The Church is the best place for Christian SINgles to meet so as Paul states, Nevertheless, to avoid fornication let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. I Corinthians 7:2.
If Christians are not to meet other SINgles, in church with guidance then where? In those first 9 verses of I Corinthians 7 Paul states that he would that all would be unmarried but never demanded it but stated in verse 9 Better to marry than to burn.
Actually, that verse 2 Timothy 2:22 is referring to any sort of passions or indulgences one had preconversion, the things which led them from following after Christ and putting Him first, and putting self first instead. Could be anything, it isn’t just things of a sexual nature.
If we use scripture to interpret scripture, 1 Corinthians 7:9 comes off more as a man and woman have been acquainted and there is something between them, which they cannot control so well. Not just of a sexual nature, but love and passion overall. Seems that is what Paul is referring to in that verse, burning with passion for a particular individual, which indicates 2 people already acquainted. Definitely not this cringy Clown World trend of modern ‘dating’, going with strangers to hipster coffee shops for a ‘job interview’ type scenario, or a first meeting with a probation officer LOL.
‘Temperance’ or ‘self-restraint’ is one of the fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) so sexual desires is something that Christians need to have control over regardless if marriage is in their future or not. Besides, if a Christian meets someone they are into, they will need that restraint while spending time with them getting to know them before marriage.
Interestingly enough, about half the women I was involved with were churchgoers, and was not a Christian in those days. We surely didn’t meet at a religious building. As a Christian, don’t limit yourself to religious buildings to meet women. Even more interesting, it was the non-churchgoing women I was involved with who were the most humble, down-to-earth, warm, giving, caring, agreeable, unselfish, and Proverbs 31esque. Read that part again and think about it. On top of that, I’ve encountered churchgoer women who were very misandrist, and referred to men as ‘pigs’.
Have you considered maybe there is someone for you outside of corporatized building-based religion? Perhaps look into doing work with a volunteer organization. That is what really matters to God, selflessness, BEING the Church. He values that so far above sitting idle on the benches at a religious building. Look at it as service to God, you will meet other selfless people there who value helping others, and are living out their Faith, just like the biblical 1st Century Church described in the Book of Acts. There are many Christians these days who have nothing to do with the weekend building-based religious system..and for very good reason. Religious buildings are not the ‘house of God’. His called out, set apart people are.
“Howbeit the most High dwelleth not in temples made with hands; as saith the prophet, Heaven is my throne, and earth is my footstool: what house will ye build me? saith the Lord: or what is the place of my rest?”
—Acts 7:48-49
“Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?”
—1 Corinthians 3:16
On that note, maybe you could start up a group who meets together for fellowship and Bible discussion? See, you do have other options. Don’t rely on the weekend building-based religious system for anything, whether it be doctrine, biblical fellowship, romantic companionship, whatever. God wants us to BE His Church.