The best gift I had received in this world is the gift of life which God had given so graciously to me. With this gift, I am able to receive love from God and the people around me, and I am able to give love back to them in return. I am able to enjoy every single moment of my life with those that matter most to me and are most precious to me. I am able to see, to hear, to taste, to smell, to interact with the world around me. Life is a precious gift which God had given to me, and because God had given me my life through my birth into this world, I am able to receive many more gifts from Him and the people around me in this world and give back in return my own gifts to them as well. 
Yet, this is not a gift I always know how to appreciate. There had been moments during the early years in my life, since I was a child at the age of 11 right up to my young adult years, where I considered life to be a curse rather than a gift. During those painful moments when God was far away from me, and my results in school were falling away, and my Chinese parents were too busy with their careers to notice me, life was like hell to me. I had no friends, I was lonely. I indulged myself in anime and mangas, in computer games and story writing, in forum postings and in chasing after my hobbies and pleasures in life, but life still felt like a curse rather than a gift to me.
Though friends were around me, I could not see them. Though birds were singing, I could not hear them. Though my parents did love me, I could not feel it. Though the sun was shining, yet I could only see the rain. Life was a pain to live and I swore to myself to end it before I reached the age of 21. But God, who meant for my life to be a blessing, would never let me turn this gift of life of His into a curse.
Before I could kill myself, God intervened. He intervened through a friend He gave to me in my college years, who unconditionally came every Sunday night to my house to give me free tuitions. He intervened through another friend of mine who shared with me the gospel of Christ. He intervened finally, through a vision which I saw in church. In my vision, I saw Jesus Christ hanging there on the cross, and a crowd was surrounding Him and they were sneering at Him and mocking Him. They were spitting at His face, unappreciative of His sacrifice made in love for them. Yet, I heard Jesus spoke in prayer to His Father in heaven, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they are doing."
That vision sent tears down my face. How could someone forgive a group of people who had so mercilessly trampled on His love for them? How could He still want the best for people who had chosen to trample on His kindness with contempt? Jesus' forgiveness and unconditional love for His persecutors broke me down. I found in His death a courage to live.
I did not end my life at the age of 21, although it was something I had planned to do since the age of 11. Ever since my parents were too busy for me, ever since my classmates rejected me in school, ever since my teachers and everyone in the world had no kind word for me, I hated my life. But Jesus chose to forgive those who hated Him, and love them until His very last breadth. I found my courage to love those who hate me. I found my courage to forgive my mother who had a higher expectation for me than I could fulfill. I found my courage to forgive my classmates who rejected me in school. I found my courage to forgive my teacher and the society who looked down on and despised me for my bad, academic results. I found the courage, finally, to forgive myself, for not being someone I wanted to be.
With that new found courage I had, I learn to embrace and treasure my life. I learn to live and not die. I learn to not think of or want to commit suicide when times get hard, and people get harsh. Life is a precious gift from God. Life is the best gift I had received in this world. I am glad to say today I am 23 years old on the day I am writing this and I am still living.
Thank you, God, for giving my life to me. Thank you, God, for bringing me into this world through my parents. Thank you, God, for this gift of life. It is a gift, and not a curse. It is the best gift I had ever received in this world.
Yet, this is not a gift I always know how to appreciate. There had been moments during the early years in my life, since I was a child at the age of 11 right up to my young adult years, where I considered life to be a curse rather than a gift. During those painful moments when God was far away from me, and my results in school were falling away, and my Chinese parents were too busy with their careers to notice me, life was like hell to me. I had no friends, I was lonely. I indulged myself in anime and mangas, in computer games and story writing, in forum postings and in chasing after my hobbies and pleasures in life, but life still felt like a curse rather than a gift to me.
Though friends were around me, I could not see them. Though birds were singing, I could not hear them. Though my parents did love me, I could not feel it. Though the sun was shining, yet I could only see the rain. Life was a pain to live and I swore to myself to end it before I reached the age of 21. But God, who meant for my life to be a blessing, would never let me turn this gift of life of His into a curse.
Before I could kill myself, God intervened. He intervened through a friend He gave to me in my college years, who unconditionally came every Sunday night to my house to give me free tuitions. He intervened through another friend of mine who shared with me the gospel of Christ. He intervened finally, through a vision which I saw in church. In my vision, I saw Jesus Christ hanging there on the cross, and a crowd was surrounding Him and they were sneering at Him and mocking Him. They were spitting at His face, unappreciative of His sacrifice made in love for them. Yet, I heard Jesus spoke in prayer to His Father in heaven, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they are doing."
That vision sent tears down my face. How could someone forgive a group of people who had so mercilessly trampled on His love for them? How could He still want the best for people who had chosen to trample on His kindness with contempt? Jesus' forgiveness and unconditional love for His persecutors broke me down. I found in His death a courage to live.
I did not end my life at the age of 21, although it was something I had planned to do since the age of 11. Ever since my parents were too busy for me, ever since my classmates rejected me in school, ever since my teachers and everyone in the world had no kind word for me, I hated my life. But Jesus chose to forgive those who hated Him, and love them until His very last breadth. I found my courage to love those who hate me. I found my courage to forgive my mother who had a higher expectation for me than I could fulfill. I found my courage to forgive my classmates who rejected me in school. I found my courage to forgive my teacher and the society who looked down on and despised me for my bad, academic results. I found the courage, finally, to forgive myself, for not being someone I wanted to be.
With that new found courage I had, I learn to embrace and treasure my life. I learn to live and not die. I learn to not think of or want to commit suicide when times get hard, and people get harsh. Life is a precious gift from God. Life is the best gift I had received in this world. I am glad to say today I am 23 years old on the day I am writing this and I am still living.
Thank you, God, for giving my life to me. Thank you, God, for bringing me into this world through my parents. Thank you, God, for this gift of life. It is a gift, and not a curse. It is the best gift I had ever received in this world.
