Testing and failing

[wooster]

Hi, I am a Catechumen in the Church. I was a Baptist in my youth and fell away ( I'm 68 ) and lived a lifetime of debauchery until I found Orthodoxy a few years ago and gradually I have followed this path to the best of my ability taking classes a few months ago. I pray every morning, night, and daytime and I listen to Orthodox teachings. I attend Liturgy andI attend Liturgy.

I am cowardly and tend to hide my practises from others. I tell them I am Christian, that I pray, and am the Church and I don't shy away from that but I get really uncomfortable crossing myself in restaurants etc. This makes me feel I'm not very brave and might fail the test. Any ideas as to how I can be better?

 

[AlexB23]

Hi, I am a Catechumen in the Church. I was a Baptist in my youth and fell away ( I'm 68 ) and lived a lifetime of debauchery until I found Orthodoxy a few years ago and gradually I have followed this path to the best of my ability taking classes a few months ago. I pray every morning, night, and daytime and I listen to Orthodox teachings. I attend Liturgy andI attend Liturgy.

I am cowardly and tend to hide my practises from others. I tell them I am Christian, that I pray, and am the Church and I don't shy away from that but I get really uncomfortable crossing myself in restaurants etc. This makes me feel I'm not very brave and might fail the test. Any ideas as to how I can be better?

I was uncomfortable crossing myself (I am a Catholic, but we cross ourselves just as the Orthodox do) at work during my lunch break, but I gave in to God. My desk is semi-private, but it still felt weird. But, now, I have opened up to talk about Psalm 111:2 and the sciences to my boss (when talking about my favorite 1920s scientist, Georges Lemaitre), cos my boss is Catholic as well, but he sadly does not go to church anymore, as he is fed up with the Church (Vatican) messing with secular affairs such as politics. I go to church almost every weekend nowadays, and am glad that my church does not get political.

TLDR: Give in to God, and just cross yourself. No one will persecute you.

 

[ArmyMatt]

Any ideas as to how I can be better?

don’t worry about what others think, and don’t be too hard on yourself. it comes in due time.

 

[Lukaris]

Hi, I am a Catechumen in the Church. I was a Baptist in my youth and fell away ( I'm 68 ) and lived a lifetime of debauchery until I found Orthodoxy a few years ago and gradually I have followed this path to the best of my ability taking classes a few months ago. I pray every morning, night, and daytime and I listen to Orthodox teachings. I attend Liturgy andI attend Liturgy.

I am cowardly and tend to hide my practises from others. I tell them I am Christian, that I pray, and am the Church and I don't shy away from that but I get really uncomfortable crossing myself in restaurants etc. This makes me feel I'm not very brave and might fail the test. Any ideas as to how I can be better?

It is a great thing to be serious about faith and probably have more courage than I do. I don’t know if I would ever be able to publicly cross myself outside of church. To me this is a personal matter depending on how far we may be partaking of the divine nature ( 2 Peter 1:4) which varies among us.

Personally, I have found a plain understanding of faith through the Lord’s commandments ( which is expressed in the ancient Didache taken from the Sermon on the Mount).Our basic living faith of alms giving, prayer, & fasting in which we confess our sins and give thanks to the Lord when He shares the Eucharist with us. This is what, I believe, is St. Paul is telling us in Ephesians 2:8-10, on to Ephesians 2:11-18 etc.). The sound theology of the Creed rounds this out for us.

I am a convert myself ( nearing 20 years), have had ups & downs. I take scripture like Hebrews 6:1-6 seriously but not fatalistically, that love is to have faith & hope for anyone ( 1 Corinthians 13:12-13), that God determines those of us who are good vs the evil ( John 5:24-30).

Made a correction in reference to Hebrews above, had a typo for chapter 11 when I meant chapter 6.