Support thread for ED/SI/etc ... come on in! *poss. trig* (5)

[Yuki Usagi]

Yuki Usagi - just wondering, who is "Macbeth"?? And if it's me, umm, I've been dxed with an ED, went through treatment, so I think that the professionals know what they are talking about. I'm currently doing pretty well in recovery, but to me, you don't really have a right to question whether or not someone here has an ED, unless they are asking for opinions on the matter. I know that I have one... as I said, I have been through tx, I have struggled with the urges to purge, I have lost weight rapidly, I have gone down to XXX calories per day - I could list and list the things that I have done to my body, but I will spare the others here. Please don't make me question myself. That will just make me think that I have no reason to get help when I need it, or to keep up with my therapy and nutritionist appointments.

Thanks.

No, it's not you. It's Macbeth. Macbeth is Macbeth. I assure you. No one can make you question yourself except you.

I know you dislike me for some reason, and that's your prerogative. as you seem to take inordinate exception to other suggestions I have had for others, too, like the zinc and copper thing and disagree with them, without even trying it; especially when someone else posted of how it cured her. Even after having the entire post copied and pasted. And it was anorexia I was talking about with someone else (who is also not you), and not bulimia, which seems to be what you suffer from.

You are Soulwings and if I was referring to you, please be assured, I would call you Soulwings. I do know how to read. Thank you.

 

[Yuki Usagi]

Hey, I'm new. Well I struggle with cutting and bulimia. I've been diagnosed with an eating disorder, but I don't feel like I have one. It seems like all of you on here either starve yourselves or are addicted to food. I feel like I'm neither, because I am adicted to food, but I just make sure I don't gain any weight. I do loose a few pounds but then I gain a few pounds and it starts all over again. I feel stupid for getting help because I'm not underweight. Sometimes I don't see what the big deal is, , but I just hate the emotions and obsessiveness to eating. Anyone else feel like this?

Just for you, Soulwings. The reading of my "rights" according to you have been duly noted. And discarded.

 

[Lady Bug]

uh oh -

I'm sorry - I did NOT realize it could be a trigger. Now I may have to change it - heck if it causes someone to trigger I do not want to feel responsible. I myself am triggered by so many things that it isn't even funny - I don't want anyone to feel a fraction of what I feel when I'm triggered.

I'll remove it soon if that is the case. I really DO take this into consideration.

 

[Yuki Usagi]

uh oh -

I'm sorry - I did NOT realize it could be a trigger. Now I may have to change it - heck if it causes someone to trigger I do not want to feel responsible. I myself am triggered by so many things that it isn't even funny - I don't want anyone to feel a fraction of what I feel when I'm triggered.

I'll remove it soon if that is the case. I really DO take this into consideration.

No worries about me, Ladybug. It's you I'm thinking of. That maybe, just maybe it could be a subliminal trigger to you. You don't have to remove it. But still, I reiterate, it's so cute and it does look yummy... who could resist it? I did notice it was overeating that you have a problem with (like me) and so I thought that maybe it would help you too, to not have it attached to you in such an intimate way.

If you're sure it isn't, then by all means, keep it. I don't want you changing it just for me.

I'll try to explain it a little deeper. Your nick is Ladybug. You subconsciously connect that name to you; making it a part of you. The cake is also a ladybug, and it's connected to your nick and your posts, thereby making it (subconsciously, remember) a part of you, too. So the cake is, according to your subconscious, part of you... eating sweets, etc... which in my experience, anyway, causes me (whenever I eat them) to want more and more and more. I'm a sugar addict if nothing else, so I need to avoid it at all costs.

When I had that nick "The Brownies" it was subliminally a part of me... I know it sounds strange but the subconscious works by symbols more than words and makes connections that we aren't consciously aware of. And we act upon the subconscious more than the conscious. And that's also where our beliefs lie. (I realize Christian beliefs lie in our spirit, which is not connected to our conscious--but I'm talking about simple earthly, physical, mental beliefs).

I hope this explains it better.



Hugs (((((((Ladybug)))))))

I'm praying for you.

And for you all

 

[Lady Bug]

thanks for understanding -

I'll see what I can do about it - I think I have a new idea for a sig that won't trigger.

a sig that won't trig, lol.

 

[Yuki Usagi]

thanks for understanding -

I'll see what I can do about it - I think I have a new idea for a sig that won't trigger.

a sig that won't trig, lol.

LOL, Good one!

 

[Lady Bug]

No worries about me, Ladybug. It's you I'm thinking of. That maybe, just maybe it could be a subliminal trigger to you. You don't have to remove it. But still, I reiterate, it's so cute and it does look yummy... who could resist it? I did notice it was overeating that you have a problem with (like me) and so I thought that maybe it would help you too, to not have it attached to you in such an intimate way.

If you're sure it isn't, then by all means, keep it. I don't want you changing it just for me.

I'll try to explain it a little deeper. Your nick is Ladybug. You subconsciously connect that name to you; making it a part of you. The cake is also a ladybug, and it's connected to your nick and your posts, thereby making it (subconsciously, remember) a part of you, too. So the cake is, according to your subconscious, part of you... eating sweets, etc... which in my experience, anyway, causes me (whenever I eat them) to want more and more and more. I'm a sugar addict if nothing else, so I need to avoid it at all costs.

When I had that nick "The Brownies" it was subliminally a part of me... I know it sounds strange but the subconscious works by symbols more than words and makes connections that we aren't consciously aware of. And we act upon the subconscious more than the conscious. And that's also where our beliefs lie. (I realize Christian beliefs lie in our spirit, which is not connected to our conscious--but I'm talking about simple earthly, physical, mental beliefs).

I hope this explains it better.



Hugs (((((((Ladybug)))))))

I'm praying for you.

And for you all

actually I have been thinking about this. and I never really thought about subliminal messages that a picture could be giving to me. really - on the surface I thought that the picture doesn't bug me (no pun intended) at all - but since I don't for certain whether the picture sends a subliminal trigger, I will remove it - not simply for someone else lol (though if it does trigger someone I get concerned) - but even for my own self not to get triggered subliminally. I am having a very severe binge eating problem lately - and it lies with eating carbs and sugars in excess - it's as if there is a signal in my head that does NOT exist for me to get the idea to stop eating. it's scary

I have the URL of the picture saved somewhere - so it's not like I've officially lost the picture. I just have it stored somewhere - where I don't see it easily.

anyway I hope this signature now is not offensive or anything.

 

[Lady Bug]

((Ladybug))

I am so sorry for your struggles.

Yes it is true, and the most agonizing part is the emotional turmoil that accompanies it. I do not binge eat, and without going into a lot of details, I will leave it as I just purge.

Please know that if you ever want to chat, privately, albeit this is a safe place (this thread), my PM box is always open.


Oh, and PCP is primary care physician, who I meet with in an hour.

Hope your doctor's appointment goes well and thank you for the invitation to PM

It's very agonizing (not to sound over the top) to imagine purging. It gives me goosebumps actually I feel bad about what you are going through. I used to...um...get this...I used to purge my food a different way - by taking laxatives! I stopped that a few years ago but yeah - I definitely purged it another way out of guilt for how I was eating - thinking it was going to make me either lose weight or not gain. Eek.

Ladybug I went through some periods of binge eating, and I have never felt that signal in my head to stop. I feel it now, but at the moment when I binged it didnt matter...I just couldnt eat enough...I couldnt get full. I had to have more, this big craving was on my back and it wouldnt go away. However I was the purging type because I went through bulimia-so oddbeani I understand bulimia alot. Its like you have such an empty spot that the food seems to fill and finally when you stuff yourself full, you feel guilty and you let all the emotion and anger your feeling in life go down the toilet and you flush it out of your life. Its very addictive and very hard to recover from, but once again there is hope.

Yup - that signal thing (or yet, lack thereof) is exactly what is happening. I have been praying about this for some time now. I have never been much of a pray-er unfortunately - I am developing some sort of prayer routine and I hope to stick to it - it's easy for me anyhow to fall out of a prayer regimen.

Subliminal messages are pretty powerful.

Ladybug, just your signature... which is very cute... can be a trigger. It almost is, to me, right now, but it's not associated with my nick or anything, and thus, not directly connected to me but...

It's a cake. How could anyone look at that and not want to eat it? Even King David realized the power of sight:

Psalm One Hundred and One, Verse Three (a):
I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes:

​

I once had a nickname of "the brownies". It was given to me by a cousin two years ago and was meant to be cute. I also created an email account of "the brownies", etc...

Before this, I was the perfect size. But within a few weeks I actually started gaining weight. And I kept gaining it... much to my dismay. Finally, one morning I was signing into my email when I truly believe the Lord spoke to me... all of a sudden "THE BROWNIES" stood out to me like a neon rainbow flashing in the dark. That's what was causing my weight gain.

It was the subliminal message of BROWNIES that triggered my sudden and mystifying craving for sweets and overeating. Well, I got rid of it, immediately. It's been about a year now since then, and although I still haven't lost the weight (mostly because I have quit smoking three times in the last year).

I have only just recently (in the past couple of months) regained the ability to stick to my original (and usual) eating plan (except for a blip last month for a couple of days, which I posted about elsewhere) that keeps my weight where it should be, again. It has taken me that long to get that subliminal message out of my head; that suggestion. For months, I saw it every day, day in and day out, all day long. Just like your signature. It's following you everywhere.

And whenever I look at your posts that cute HUGE Ladybug cake glares at me. Since you are associated with it, ie: your nick here... it may actually have something to do with your food addiction; or at least getting rid of it may help it.

This is just a thought, that I felt I should maybe share with you, just in case. We are here, after all to share things that have helped us, thinking maybe they will help someone else, too. Please forgive me if I've offended you, that is the opposite of my intentions.

I may have already replied to this LOL - but I just have to say - what you said is a very scary thought (not blaming you for scaring me - just read on to see what I mean) and sort of woke me up to realizing the danger of subliminal messages.

 

[Lady Bug]

oh one thing -

I don't think that the word ladybug would trigger me - because that username is a lot older than the cake. years older as a matter of fact...

 

[Soulwings]

My apologies, Yuki Usagi. I totally didn't see the "Macbeth" post.

Oh, and I don't have anything against you personally. It's just that I was pointing out (in the other thread) that zinc and copper simply wouldn't work were the person taking them not eating. It's just a scientific fact. Meds, minerals, vitamins, etc. are not absorbed if you aren't eating.

And I don't suffer from bulimia, either. I'm EDNOS-R.

...

Ladybug. How're you doing today??

 

[Yuki Usagi]

oh one thing -

I don't think that the word ladybug would trigger me - because that username is a lot older than the cake. years older as a matter of fact...

Right... because that's associated with a cute little bug... and I'm sure you wouldn't want to eat that, lol But the cake, now that's a different story. It's the picture of cake... or other foods that if you keep yourself surrounded by them, there's a good chance they could affect you. Your new signature is not offensive in any way and it's very pretty!

My heart is with your best interests and I will pray for you that this binge eating changes... soon! Like now!

 

[Yuki Usagi]

I am having a very severe binge eating problem lately - and it lies with eating carbs and sugars in excess - it's as if there is a signal in my head that does NOT exist for me to get the idea to stop eating. it's scary

That's what carbs and sugar do to me, too. Have you ever tried Atkins or some other low carb way of eating? There is a forum online where they discuss it and you can learn all about how and why it works, to see if maybe it's something you could benefit from.

Atkins--the nineteen-seventy-two [<---year] version of the book is the best one. They never should have changed it, in my opinion. And the opinions of all the other members there.

You honestly don't miss carbs after the first two weeks.......... unless someone starts calling you "the brownies" or something, lol And you can even live without chocolate after that, but after the first two weeks, you can drink an Atkins chocolate shake now and then! YUM!

 

[Yuki Usagi]

My apologies, Yuki Usagi. I totally didn't see the "Macbeth" post.

Oh, and I don't have anything against you personally. It's just that I was pointing out (in the other thread) that zinc and copper simply wouldn't work were the person taking them not eating. It's just a scientific fact. Meds, minerals, vitamins, etc. are not absorbed if you aren't eating.

And I don't suffer from bulimia, either. I'm EDNOS-R.

Well, it worked for lifeknowingjesus, and obviously it's worked for eighty five percent of the people who have tried it. And I'm still going to recommend it to people. I hope you read it. Then, you will have a more accurate picture of what you don't believe. lifeknowingjesus said: "If you have anorexia, [take] fifity mg a day of this essential mineral, along with one to three mg per day of copper."


Also, I did say it "seems" as if you suffer from bulimia... okay? What's the use of reading a post if you don't "read" it? Here it is copied and pasted and that's the last time I'm going to go back and find what I said.
"...not bulimia, which seems to be what you suffer from."

Because you said: I have struggled with the urges to purge.

And it works for bulimics, too, by the way.

 

[Lady Bug]

Anyway about the carbs and sugar thing - boy is that a problem

It seems that carbs keep me from feeling edgy - it's like this comfort - this "pillow" - it's an addiction, I'm afraid. I haven't really tried the fad diets out there lol. I feel that chocolate for the time being has the same "comforting" effect as the carbs although I don't have a chocolate addiction per se - more or less a dependency - which could pave the way for an addiction but it's not to that point yet.

I do believe that incorporating some sort of vegetables into my regimen could improve the variety with which I feel I'm lacking. I love vegetables - it surprises me that I don't eat more than I do - considering how much I love them. Maybe it just take motivation for me to make them. Motivation and I are like enemies or something

feeling tired to write more though at this time.

 

[Shannie]

Ladybug,

Regarding veggies, I also love them but often find myself too lazy. I don't know if you like eating them raw or not, but if you do what I found helpful was say on Sunday I'll cut up a whole bunch of various veggies I like raw. Then in the morning on my way to work I just grab a bunch and go. Once I have them packed I will eat them, but I usually find it's not worth the effort when I'm in a rush or still half asleep.

Yuki Usagi,

While I appreciate the nature of your advice to Macbeth (I can't find this post for some reason?), I want to point out that people with EDs are often in denial about how bad their symptoms are. Not saying that's the case with Macbeth, but just in general. Especially because someone's weight does not necessarily relate to whether or not they have an ED. Many people suffer but are at a normal weight

I completely understand the spirit of what your saying, it just made me a bit nervous because the 'normal' weight thing is a sore point for me, i've never been at an extremely high or low weight but my ED is a huge problem for me and has interfered in many aspects of my life. It's certainly not normal but it's not obvious to other people either. It's actually a pretty big trigger for me because I feel like I have to 'prove' I'm sick before I can recover. And I'm sure I'm not the only person like me, so I wanted to point it out

Thank you for time you've put into replying to people's posts. Is there something we can do to support you??

Catlover,

Don't leave because of one person's report

Everyone else,
How are you all doing?? Hope everyone's doing well.

 

[EbonNelumbo]

My doctor's ingenius plan is to have me eat bananas for my potassium levels ...brilliant when I don't keep down the food I'm already eating

 

[Soulwings]

Well, it worked for lifeknowingjesus, and obviously it's worked for eighty five percent of the people who have tried it. And I'm still going to recommend it to people. I hope you read it. Then, you will have a more accurate picture of what you don't believe. lifeknowingjesus said: "If you have anorexia, [take] fifity mg a day of this essential mineral, along with one to three mg per day of copper."


Also, I did say it "seems" as if you suffer from bulimia... okay? What's the use of reading a post if you don't "read" it? Here it is copied and pasted and that's the last time I'm going to go back and find what I said.
"...not bulimia, which seems to be what you suffer from."

Because you said: I have struggled with the urges to purge.

And it works for bulimics, too, by the way.

I'm not really taking away your right to recommend it to people. I'm just going to argue with it because EDs are so much more than nutritional issues. That's all. Hehe.

And yes, I'm not stupid, you know. I know that purging "works" for bulimics, but that doesn't mean you have to be bulimic to have urges to purge. There is a dx called AN-P. Anorexia nervosa purging subtype.

I also noticed that you said "seems." I, too, can read.

As I said in the PM to you, our ideas might not jive but I don't want to keep getting into arguments like this. It's not worth it. I may as well leave this board.

 

[Soulwings]

Hallee... I'm sorry that you're having such a hard time. Does anyone know that you are struggling so much right now, besides us?

Shannie, Sabrina, Bec, how are things going?

 

[beckybooiloveu]

*hugs* april. DONT LEAVE!!!
im... ok... pretty stressed and exhausted as usual. but good news... I got awarded the fifty % bursary for my college! only one gets awarded and i was chosen out of a hundred and fifty of other people! So that means i get to stay at college next year... but it also means i cant get below a certain grade because then i lose the bursary so taht is stressing me out...

and im in a great deal of pain today. I went out clubbing last night with some friends and someone jumped on my foot with the heal of her stiletto. OUCH!!! it is soooo unbelievably painful! my foot is all bruised and swollen and i cant move my toes and it hurts soo much to walk on (also hurts when im sitting too though... ) so yeh...

all the second year girls from my college all went out to dinner last night... it was horrible having the ten girls on my table and others from other tables telling me to eat over and over. I had a mouthfull of my risotto but couldnt have any more. I think they were all telling me to eat becasue i had drunk two bottles of champagne by myself and was getting a bit loud... i felt so sick from my one mouthful though that i had to go sraight to the bathroom... i couldnt keep it down

anyways, time to get back to the assignments. just wanted to leave an update...

 

[LovesTruePassion]

Im doing alright this morning, my doggie died last night :-( I was very close to her. She was ran over by a truck and I saw the whole thing happen.
Food wise Im good, I just feel really fat this morning. I cant shake it off!

Becky Im so sorry hunny, I just wish you could manage to keep even a mouthful down. Your body is going to start shutting down if you dont get some vital nutrients in food. I know its difficult and I know it feels painful to eat at times both physically and emotionally, but if you want to overcome you have to try your hardest. Im praying for you and only hoping you take care of yourself.