The General Mental Health Forum is now a Read Only Forum. As we had two large areas making it difficult for many to find, we decided to combine the Mental Health & the Recovery sections of the forum into Mental Health & Recovery as a whole. Physical Health still remains as it's own area within the entire Recovery area.
If you are having struggles, need support in a particular area that you aren't finding a specific recovery area forum, you may find the General Struggles forum a great place to post. Any any that is related to emotions, self-esteem, insomnia, anger, relationship dynamics due to mental health and recovery and other issues that don't fit better in another forum would be examples of topics that might go there.
If you have spiritual issues related to a mental health and recovery issue, please use the Recovery Related Spiritual Advice forum. This forum is designed to be like Christian Advice, only for recovery type of issues. Recovery being like a family in many ways, allows us to support one another together. May you be blessed today and each day.
Kristen.NewCreation and FreeinChrist
Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.
and Dustin, the love of my life keeps telling me I'm beautiful, but why do I not feel that way then? I just want to be pretty again, like I was back in two thousand and five, my sophomore to junior year in high school. Mirrors are my nightmares, and I am okay with looking at myself in them from the front, but from the side, and then I start to suffer again. I look at my body and visually I see all the areas I'd like to go to get nip-tuck done to, because there is flab. I hate flab, it makes me feel so nasty. I guess if I continue to starve myself of calories, I may continue to loose weight. It feels good to hear people tell me that I look good again. Yesterday I was able to fit into a pair of shorts I hadnt been able to fit into for three years, and it made me feel happy. I often ask people to tell me that I'm beautiful, because well..I like to hear that I am pretty the way I am. Dustin tells me this so often, but my mind can not quite grasp it.
I know God created me to be beautiful, but why can't I be like my sister Vanessa or Felicia? They are so pretty, and I'm well..Not..It just is not fair. I want to be that girl that every one was amazed at how much weight she lost and how pretty she looked. I want to be able to shop at the stores in the malls and be able to fit into all the cute and nice clothes
Soulwings said:Hallee...I'm sorry that you're having such a hard time. Does anyone know that you are struggling so much right now, besides us?
My husband is on bulldog guarding duty after I eat, so it makes it difficult.
It is okay.
Thank you for your response. I just...
hey becky
I think we all have times where it's hard to keep up with all the posts, either because of how we are feeling or just because life gets busy. Or both.
Oddbeani s and positive thoughts. I hope you have support and alternative healthy ways of coping with your feelings. If coming on here and venting helps we're definitely here to listen.
thank you - it's really anxiety- and depression-provoking experience. that's an understatement actually. I tried going to another mall today - a far, far superior mall but infinitely bigger and I could not get through all the stores at all. Granted, not all the stores are clothing stores. It's such a huge mall that I have mixed opinions about going back but the clothing selection in the stores on my side of town are a LOT different than some of the same clothing stores in the other mall. it's just that the mall is at least a half hour away and is a million square feet in sizeHi Becky!
Ladybug,
Don't worry about not keeping up with posts
I'm sorry you had a bad experience looking for shirts. I hate how shopping can be such an anxiety-provoking experience.
I've been there before now and then over the past decade or so. In all honesty I love that mall but it is simply not the kind of mall you can tell yourself that you'll only spend an hour in. ) my body has really taken a turn for the worse - I know you guys may say not to worry, I'm beautiful and all that - and I'm sure you even mean that I'm beautiful but I couldn't handle what I saw today in the mirror. My dad fails to understand my plight - my body and my system simply are not his body and his system - he thinks that if I stay hungry over a long enough period of time (not necessarily starve myself but he means to eat and stop at a certain point even if not satisfied) that my body will get used to doing this and it will stop feeling hungry. I just wanted to yell and say NO that simply does NOT work that way for me. He just doesn't understand that if I eat to a certain point and stop even if I am not satisfied, I will simply end up binging a couple hours later. He says to simply control. I can't. I want to but I can't. I lost a pound since yesterday but it's not because of how I ate - I walked around so much yesterday because I was in the mall closer to where I live and I sweated like heck afterwards. I ask myself, is this how hard I have to work to lose a pound around here? Is my body this stagnant, this dead, this immobile that it has come close to not working anymore? good job not acting on it - I hope today is another one of those better daysJust muddling through another day. I've gone three days without enacting my disorder (outside my mind that is...) It feels like a century
But please... do your best to take care of yourself... so hard, I know, and so easy to say, but taking care of yourself will help you get the grades that you need to keep the bursary. Keep up the great work... and I am so glad that your tx team and husband are aware of your current struggles. It's hard to have your husband try to take care of you like that, since he is not an expert, but I am glad that you are having him do what he can. You deserve a break, especially after seeing your dog... I'm so sorry about that.
I'm sorry your anxiety has been so bad . I hope things get better soon as you get into your new routine and home. hehe.
Hi ShannieLadybug,
Sorry shopping was such a bad experience. I like to shop alone when my ED isn't bad because I'm more productive but if my ED is tagging closely along it's a terrible experience. I think fitting room mirrors are unusually unflattering. Do you have a friend you could bring with you next time?
I'm sorry your dad isn't more understanding. Is it possible to ask him not to discuss your weight? Or any time he brings it up just say you are working on becoming healthier but not go into any details or anything? I'm a total daddy's girl and I am overly concerned about what my dad thinks. I'm working on it, to try to realize that just cuz he thinks something doesn't make it right or at least not necessarily right for me. It's hard, I spent so much of my life trying to make him happy. A lot of my ED started from that actually. ANyways, not trying to make this about me, just saying I can imagine how hard it must be to hear the kinds of comments you get from your dad.
I mean it - this is an embarrassment. It brought up memories of when my mom and I occasionally shopped there during my high school years and we would have some frozen dessert afterwards in the mall's food court. Now that my mom has lost a lot of memory, she can't go places anymore alone - not unless the caretaker lady brings her out. And that would cause my shopping to take infinitely longer because that mall is just huge. 
