Support thread for ED/SI/etc ... come on in! *poss. trig* (4)

[MyaShane]

Ari! I don't like to hear you talk like that. I'm sure no one hates you! Sorry your internet isn't cooperating. Try to hang in there hun!!

for everyone!

 

[Soulwings]

Ari I know the feeling... argh I know it well! and wish that neither of us did. I have been biting and while I can't cut, I really, really want to. I can't ask you to not cut... but please - please please please - be careful, beautiful. And I am sure that no one hates you and that no one is trying to get rid of you. You're anything but useless. Hang tight.

How is everyone doing tonight?

 

[Soulwings]

Buuuummppppp....



How are you all doing today? s

 

[jynx]

hmmm... oldest eh? I am soon to be thirty one. eh,where do I rank?

 

[MyaShane]

I have you beat Jynx! Welcome!

How is everyone? I'm hoping for a short work day to start a 3 day weekend! We'll be very busy this weekend and lots of picnics and parties to go to! I don't want to think about how much I'll be eating!

 

[Soulwings]

Hmmm I think I am one of the younger ones here. Believe it or not. I prefer to not think about age, though.

Had a difficult appointment with my T yesterday. Blah. Brought up some uncomfortable issues and I ended up getting upset and actually raising my voice in session. Ick.

 

[beckybooiloveu]

*HUGS* its ok to get upset april. Im sure your T understands... infact in some ways it is probably good to get upset!

i think i am one of the youngest too... still 18... whoo...

 

[Arianna]

Thanks, April, Kerin
.... sorry to be so negative, I probabl shouldn't post things like that.

I'm doing a bit better...... still really tempted, but feeling a bit more rational and less reckless overall (which helps!)

How is everyone?

Hi, Jynx - nice to meet you
(i don't know if I count as one of the older or one of the younger ones here! Mb I am an inbetween person.....) (You rank high anyway -- because your CF character is cool, not because you are nearly 31)

 

[Soulwings]

Ari, beautiful, post whatever you need to post. Negativity is okay sometimes... not okay in the sense that we should be like that, but okay to share how you are feeling so we can best help you. I'm glad that you're feeling better today, some. Being reckless and less rational is always a bad thing... *said from experience too*

s to all.

 

[katey]

to everyone.

sorry havent been in for a couple of days, things arent going to well at the minute. i'm close to being put in hospital at the minute and its not going down too well everyone seems to think its the best thing for me at the minute (apart from me) i know what the implications of going i are! i dont wanna go in. :'(

 

[Soulwings]

Awww Katey Why does everyone think you ought to go there? and if you can't be safe out of it, then going in may be a very good idea. What implications are there?

I'm actually a bit worried about going in hos myself. Things aren't going that great either. :-S

 

[katey]

they are all worried aboutmy state of mind, and safety because yeah i cant keep myself safe. my thouhts have been really bad and a struggling to fight them at the minute, my moods not god either ikee wanting to run from evryone. i've been at AnE a cuple of times thisweek. it will cause problems with my uni couse a possibiliy that i'll have to stop doing it, or put a hold on it for atleast six months more likey a year. then theres the things tha will get saidfrom family (not helpful) i kno i shouldnt take it to heart but i do.


April, wanna talk bout it? xx

 

[Soulwings]

Well, I just repeat what I said, and add on that sometimes it's best if uni is put off for a bit until you're more stable. Been there, done that, and it's worked pretty well. Do what you think is right - not what you want to do, but what you think is healthy and what other people - who know more about how to be healthy than you, perhaps - think is right for you to do.

I've been a bit suicidal lately... okay, more than a bit, worried that I'm actually going to do something, and it's been scary. What with that, the paranoia, the shifts in belief system, the blip of psychotic'ness, and the return of SI... well, yeah. Things aren't going great.

s to all.

 

[Soulwings]

Double post... ACK sorry!

 

[Lady Bug]

I didn't realize there was a support thread like this...cool.

 

[katey]

hi welcome to the thread Ladybug

April i'm sorry things arent going well, i know its hard when you've been tryin so hard to stay on track and things start to come up. i definatly know the suicidal feelings at the minute, and yeah it is scary, is there anyone that you can talk too about it?

 

[katey]

hows everyone else doing, bec ari?

 

[Lady Bug]

speaking of eating disorders, there have been times where I feel like giving up even though I don't necessarily do so...

from 2003 to 2006 or so I lost 50 pounds...I've have gained about 30 of those pounds back since February 2007...yesterday I was 180 pounds and I thought to myself that if I go over that point, it's going to be hell trying to go down...today I'm 182 pounds...I can barely fit into size 16s...if I have to back to a size 18 like I did when I was well over 200 pounds, I don't know what I'll do...

it's springtime and there's beautiful clothes out there and I can't buy them like this...this is so evil...I wake up every morning so irritable and mad because I'm starting to look fuller in my face and chin and my gut is protruding...I was skinnier exactly a year ago today.

 

[Soulwings]

Ladybug s (please try and refrain from using numbers here, as they can be massive triggers...) That said... I am sorry that you're feeling so rubbishy... it's really hard to look back and realize that you were skinnier a year ago, but weight fluctuation happens to everyone. Even from day to day. I've been told that time and time again by my treatment team and family... weight fluctuation is normal. Have you taken any health measures to work on the weight? like healthy eating and exercising? no restricting or overexercising, as that will put weight on faster and it will be fat weight not muscle weight. Maybe see a nutritionist if you haven't already done so, to get some help about the weight loss-gain? I know you posted another thread and I will have a look at that in a moment.

Katey, yeh it is tough... I'm sorry you've been feeling that way too. I've talked with Jarrod about it and my team knows that I've been thinking suicidal thoughts off and on nearly everyday, but they don't know yet that it's worse. I don't trust myself around anything anymore, pills, knives, anything. I burnt myself yesterday and... well, I feel rubbish, bc I'm getting worse again. And there is absolutely no reason for it! Nothing is going wrong in my life right now. Nothing. ARGH it is so infuriating!



How is everyone else doing? sorry for my outburst, just feeling quite overwhelmed right now.

s to all. xx

 

[Lady Bug]

Ladybug s (please try and refrain from using numbers here, as they can be massive triggers...) That said... I am sorry that you're feeling so rubbishy... it's really hard to look back and realize that you were skinnier a year ago, but weight fluctuation happens to everyone. Even from day to day. I've been told that time and time again by my treatment team and family... weight fluctuation is normal. Have you taken any health measures to work on the weight? like healthy eating and exercising? no restricting or overexercising, as that will put weight on faster and it will be fat weight not muscle weight. Maybe see a nutritionist if you haven't already done so, to get some help about the weight loss-gain? I know you posted another thread and I will have a look at that in a moment.

Katey, yeh it is tough... I'm sorry you've been feeling that way too. I've talked with Jarrod about it and my team knows that I've been thinking suicidal thoughts off and on nearly everyday, but they don't know yet that it's worse. I don't trust myself around anything anymore, pills, knives, anything. I burnt myself yesterday and... well, I feel rubbish, bc I'm getting worse again. And there is absolutely no reason for it! Nothing is going wrong in my life right now. Nothing. ARGH it is so infuriating!



How is everyone else doing? sorry for my outburst, just feeling quite overwhelmed right now.

s to all. xx

unfortunately I'm not doing enough at this time SoulWings...I'm at the stage of realizing that I have a problem but my brain is in a stalemate/zombie stage too. I don't necessarily eat bad food most of the time but I eat the wrong quantities of it. I like to eat until I am satisfied like a "normal" human being, it's just that my level of satisfaction could intimidate a hippo (ok that is exaggerating but I'm trying to prove a point lol). Heck, I even ate like a pig (according to others' standards) as I was losing all those pounds...but I guess I ate less then than I do now, obviously.

I'll be careful not to post anything that would trigger. I want to be careful on that.