Sucker

[Endeavourer]

we have lunch together almost everyday and then we are home at night with each other. I will hold her close to me every day.
- Peter

Peter, you are so welcome. I'm glad the articles are helping you.

The most effective way to spend recreational time together is in larger chunks of time, like 4 hours per date. This gets you out of the "what a nice day" range and into deeper emotional connections. It also builds up the woman's romantic feeling so the date can end with a physical connection.

https://www.marriagebuilders.com/th...can-a-husband-receive-the-sex-he-needs-in.htm

Here is an article on the best practices for making sure your love accounts in each other's hearts are maximized from the time you spend together each week.

https://www.marriagebuilders.com/the-policy-of-undivided-attention.htm

Be sure to change to a flip phone and if your church web duties open even a teeny crack to stumbling, give them to someone else in church or hire someone to fill in for you so you don't need to be pulled close to temptation.

It's essential for your wife to be with you every time you access the web. Did you get your flip phone yet?

Here's an article about how to deal with serial cheaters. In a sense, a porn addiction approaches the line of serial cheating. There are some great strategies in this article. For now, until you have remained sober from your addiction (an possibly for the rest of your life), you would be wise to implement these safeguards:
https://www.marriagebuilders.com/what-to-do-with-a-serial-cheater.htm

Peter, I'm here because I really, REALLY pray you find success to stay away from porn and I really, REALLY would love for you and your wife to trade the pain of a porn addiction (on both of your parts) for a happy, romantic, in-love marriage. I'm rooting for you!!

 

[PeterJames0510]

Peter, you are so welcome. I'm glad the articles are helping you.

The most effective way to spend recreational time together is in larger chunks of time, like 4 hours per date. This gets you out of the "what a nice day" range and into deeper emotional connections. It also builds up the woman's romantic feeling so the date can end with a physical connection.

https://www.marriagebuilders.com/th...can-a-husband-receive-the-sex-he-needs-in.htm

Here is an article on the best practices for making sure your love accounts in each other's hearts are maximized from the time you spend together each week.

https://www.marriagebuilders.com/the-policy-of-undivided-attention.htm

Be sure to change to a flip phone and if your church web duties open even a teeny crack to stumbling, give them to someone else in church or hire someone to fill in for you so you don't need to be pulled close to temptation.

It's essential for your wife to be with you every time you access the web. Did you get your flip phone yet?

Here's an article about how to deal with serial cheaters. In a sense, a porn addiction approaches the line of serial cheating. There are some great strategies in this article. For now, until you have remained sober from your addiction (an possibly for the rest of your life), you would be wise to implement these safeguards:
https://www.marriagebuilders.com/what-to-do-with-a-serial-cheater.htm

Peter, I'm here because I really, REALLY pray you find success to stay away from porn and I really, REALLY would love for you and your wife to trade the pain of a porn addiction (on both of your parts) for a happy, romantic, in-love marriage. I'm rooting for you!!

Hi Endeavourer.

I am a hold out on the phone because my boss is constantly texting me during the day on it and sending me things electronically. It's not a company phone, though, it's a $30 per month AT&T phone with only internet access via wi fi zone. But like you rightly pointed out, it's a gaping hole to my walk of purity.

So I installed a screenshot program, Truple, and it is taking constant random screen shots and sending them to my wife once a day so she can see what I've been doing on the phone.

Thank you so much for rooting for me.

 

[iamchance]

Hi Peter - I just wanted to say that it's awesome that you're taking these steps to fight back. Great job man! I meant to tell you the other day that my church has a ministry where we sit down with 15-20 men per group and we all share our sin struggles. During the circle I believe it was all but 2 guys who didn't have the sin struggle that you're currently fighting, including myself. I say that to say that this is a very common battle for males, whether we as men say it or not, and regardless of whether our significant others know it or not. Many of us are exposed to these things at a very early age and by the time we try to drop it, it's taken root. However, you have Christ on your side so keep on pushing. Way to go making your wife your accountability partner. Blessings.

 

[PeterJames0510]

Hi Peter - I just wanted to say that it's awesome that you're taking these steps to fight back. Great job man! I meant to tell you the other day that my church has a ministry where we sit down with 15-20 men per group and we all share our sin struggles. During the circle I believe it was all but 2 guys who didn't have the sin struggle that you're currently fighting, including myself. I say that to say that this is a very common battle for males, whether we as men say it or not, and regardless of whether our significant others know it or not. Many of us are exposed to these things at a very early age and by the time we try to drop it, it's taken root. However, you have Christ on your side so keep on pushing. Way to go making your wife your accountability partner. Blessings.

Thank you IAMCHANCE for all of your encouragement. We don't have a group of men right at the moment, but I hope to in the future.

 

[Neostarwcc]

I used to be addicted to pornography for years. Ever since I was about nine years old anyway. I'm almost 34 now and have been free from porn for about a year now. How did I do it? I didnt. God did. After my conversion back in 2013 I noticed a massive decrease in lust but I still used pornography on a regular several times a day basis. About a year later I met my wife and my porn addiction became a large problem in my marriage so I kept praying to God over and over again each time I caved into the sin. Eventually God answered my prayers and I've been porn free for a year now. My wife is leaving for five days tomorrow though so we will see if I end up caving in though. Dunno yet.

My advice to you though? Keep praying to God the Father and fighting. Eventually God will change you into not watching porn anymore. Eventually your desire to pick up pornography will be less and less until it completely fades. Yes you do backslide and pick it up sometimes but eventually God will completely remove it from you. You just have to be patient ad wait.

 

[PeterJames0510]

I used to be addicted to pornography for years. Ever since I was about nine years old anyway. I'm almost 34 now and have been free from porn for about a year now. How did I do it? I didnt. God did. After my conversion back in 2013 I noticed a massive decrease in lust but I still used pornography on a regular several times a day basis. About a year later I met my wife and my porn addiction became a large problem in my marriage so I kept praying to God over and over again each time I caved into the sin. Eventually God answered my prayers and I've been porn free for a year now. My wife is leaving for five days tomorrow though so we will see if I end up caving in though. Dunno yet.

My advice to you though? Keep praying to God the Father and fighting. Eventually God will change you into not watching porn anymore. Eventually your desire to pick up pornography will be less and less until it completely fades. Yes you do backslide and pick it up sometimes but eventually God will completely remove it from you. You just have to be patient ad wait.

Hi Neostar! I will definitely be praying for you and your success over the next 5 days.

 

[carp614]

When I go long periods of time without sinning...

Whatever else you have going on, I humbly suggest that you reconsider the notion that you are ever without sin. Paul had his thorn and we all do too.

This kind of pride is not the root of addiction, but it is near to it. From personal experience, humility must often be complete before one can rise above an addiction.

 

[PeterJames0510]

Whatever else you have going on, I humbly suggest that you reconsider the notion that you are ever without sin. Paul had his thorn and we all do too.

This kind of pride is not the root of addiction, but it is near to it. From personal experience, humility must often be complete before one can rise above an addiction.

Hi, thank you for the food for thought. No one is ever without sin and in fact the apostle John tells us that is a bad train of thought in 1 John 1:8.

There are times I have not acted out my addictions, and those are the loneliest times for me. Thank you - Peter James

 

[Endeavourer]

There are times I have not acted out my addictions, and those are the loneliest times for me. Thank you - Peter James

Peter, it's really important to plan at least 15 hours worth of purposeful dates with your wife each week where your attention is focused on each other as you are making this transition. Do fun activities so those dates are the highlight of your week. Fun times together will displace your loneliness. If you have an two-become one integrated, romantic marriage where you are in love with you wife you will not have much time to be lonely.

How is your DIVINE filter holding out?

 

[PeterJames0510]

Peter, it's really important to plan at least 15 hours worth of purposeful dates with your wife each week where your attention is focused on each other as you are making this transition. Do fun activities so those dates are the highlight of your week. Fun times together will displace your loneliness. If you have an two-become one integrated, romantic marriage where you are in love with you wife you will not have much time to be lonely.

How is your DIVINE filter holding out?

Hi Endeavourer. Well what can I say, I pine for my wife and sometimes get a little too clingy. But I guess she doesn't mind. We do the same thing every night, we come home from work together and have dinner together with our son and are couch potatoes and watch TV. During that time I'll do laundry or dishes as I've sort of 'adopted' those chores as my own.

Friday nights are our date night. I'm not sure if it comes out to 15 hours of uninterrupted time. Remember, we're basically stuck at home 'cuz I don't know how to drive (one of the failures of my life) and we basically hang out every night anyways. Sundays are almost completely out because we go over the parsonage after church and spend the afternoon there.

As far as the divine filter, it doesn't move. I tried to issue it one command after 9 hours to release weebly.com so I could update the church website, and it wouldn't budge! And I'm not going to argue with it because my freedom's at stake.

- Peter James

 

[Neostarwcc]

Hi Neostar! I will definitely be praying for you and your success over the next 5 days.

Thanks! I dont think I'll end up giving in. I've already come this far. I'll be praying for your journey as well though. I really wish you the best. If you're still a member on CF when you do manage to quit I'd love to hear it!

 

[Gottservant]

Spouses should never engage in sexual experiences that exclude the other. Save all of your sexual experiences for your wife, particularly as you are overcoming this addiction.

Masturbating properly, does not waste energy (but rather renews it) - that's basically the point?

 

[Endeavourer]

Masturbating properly, does not waste energy (but rather renews it) - that's basically the point?

There is no proper way for a married person to have sexual experiences without his/her spouse. Marital love is a delicate harmony and isolating sexual experiences from the tune makes the harmony fall flat.