mina said:
A wife allows herself to be led by her husband. She seeks his direction and rests in his protection. She trusts him to guide her and the rest of the family in all areas and trusts him to be seeking God's direction. And she respects his guidance. It's a beautiful thing but the world has twisted the meaning of submission to mean weakness and it's not that at all. It works best when the husband is doing his job as a man and is seeking God and loving his wife as Christ loved the church.
I see this best in the way my parent's household works. My mother is an intelligent and fantastically capable woman. When she sets her mind to something, you can be certain that it will happen and be done well. My father often says that she is more intelligent than he is, but I would say that her skills and his complement each other.
In the midst of all of this, though, she follows Dad's lead - the buck stops with him. Some decisions they discuss. Some decisions he makes directly, but many decisions are Mom's and they never discuss them. It's much like the organization of a crew on a ship. There must always be a captain providing direction, but the exec does much of the implementing of the direction, and provides valuable input - and no, Dad doesn't bark orders, or treat Mom like a servant, a slave, or a child. He treats her as his wife, and they work together. They discuss things, and where they agree there's no issue. However, when they disagree, she follows his lead. Sometimes he's right, sometimes he's wrong, but there are no power struggles in the home, because they understand how the system works.
In the correct situation, the husband loves his wife like Christ loved the church, and lays his life down for her. His decisions are made for both their (with a focus on her) benefit, and his goal is to be the family's biggest servant, and his wife's best benefactor on earth. This means making her benefit more important than his own, and sacrificing of time, energy, and opportunity. Sometimes he has to do things that his wife might not like him to, because it would still be to her benefit and/or the right thing to do. But he needs to keep his in-family responibility focus that he is his wife's protector and loving leader, not her dictator, boss, or owner, even though the buck stops wih him. One of his biggest jobs in loving his wife is to carry the load of leadership, the what-ifs if things don't work out, and not have his wife make all the decisions and do everything while he just coasts along and reaps the benefits. If he does not consult with his wife, he is missing out on her wisdom and thoughts. His wife needs to be able to rest in his care, even while she is his biggest supporter and has his back. Plus, he has the job to make her life special with thoughtful things for no reason at all, except that he loves her and wants her to know how special she is.
The wife is to submit to her husband as the church submits to Christ, knowing that he is the leader or captain of the family, and that he is responsible for her good. She is not a floormat, or a non-entity, or a robot - she is an intelligent, capable person, who gives input to her husband, and be his number one backup and resource person based on those God-given talents. She needs to not cut him down, not be contentious, and also work for his good. A man can buy a house and live in it, but its the special touches from a wife that make it a home, and a sanctuary where he can retreat from the hardships of the world.
Submission merely means that there is a captain and leader on the team, and the wife is the number one player. The husband is not superior to the wife - they are co-heirs of Christ. The wife is in no-way inferior to her husband - they are partners together, with a known way of getting things done and coming to resolution on decisions. But with both husband and wife, the focus needs to be "our", rather than "my". :^)
pax
-kc
Ref: Eph 6
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"If I wanted a floormat, I'd go to Home Depot!" -kc
