Struggling

[truefiction1]

Yes. Pretty accurate. I'm more confused than anything. I just feel lost.

Gee, it sounds like you had a very close relationship with him, no? Either way, it's totally understandable that you will feel lost when you've so recently lost someone who has been such a large part of your life for so long. It's as if an important and necessary part of yourself has been ripped away, and this must be so devastating to you. Again, I'm sorry.

Our Lord God knows for Himself what it is to feel this agony of being separated from a dear loved one. I know that you wrote at first how you don't know the Bible perfectly, so I'll just take a moment to show you the shortest sentence that is in our English Bibles. It is only two words, but may speak most strongly to your own needs right now. Maybe, or maybe not, I don't know. But here it goes: (It'll help if you read the entire passage for context, and the two-word sentence is in bold maroon color italics.)

Now Jesus had not yet entered the village, but was still at the place where Martha had met Him. When the Jews who were in the house consoling Mary saw how quickly she got up and went out, they followed her, supposing she was going to the tomb to mourn there. When Mary came to Jesus and saw Him, she fell at His feet and said, “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died.”

When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, He was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. “Where have you laid him?” He asked.

“Come and see, Lord,” they answered.

Jesus wept.

Then the Jews said, “See how He loved him!”

But some of them asked, “Could not this man who opened the eyes of the blind also have kept Lazarus from dying?”

Jesus, once again deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. “Take away the stone,” Jesus said.

“Lord, by now he stinks,” said Martha, the sister of the dead man. “It has already been four days.”

Jesus replied, “Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?”

So they took away the stone. Then Jesus lifted His eyes upward and said, “Father, I thank You that You have heard Me. I knew that You always hear Me, but I say this for the benefit of the people standing here, so they may believe that You sent Me.”

After Jesus had said this, He called out in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!”

The man who had been dead came out with his hands and feet bound in strips of linen, and his face wrapped in a headcloth.

“Unwrap him and let him go,” Jesus told them.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now, Stephanie, as a meager deacon of the Orthodox Church there probably isn't much I can do, directly, that will be guaranteed to help you, who are feeling lost right now, to be found again. But I am asked by my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, to lead the faithful in prayer, especially when one of our beloved family or friends has been recently taken from us to await the Resurrection of all the dead. Do you wish to share with me your brother's first name, so that I can pray for him as is our ancient custom? I surely hope that you will. Thanks.

 

[StephanieAnn]

Gee, it sounds like you had a very close relationship with him, no? Either way, it's totally understandable that you will feel lost when you've so recently lost someone who has been such a large part of your life for so long. It's as if an important and necessary part of yourself has been ripped away, and this must be so devastating to you. Again, I'm sorry.

Our Lord God knows for Himself what it is to feel this agony of being separated from a dear loved one. I know that you wrote at first how you don't know the Bible perfectly, so I'll just take a moment to show you the shortest sentence that is in our English Bibles. It is only two words, but may speak most strongly to your own needs right now. Maybe, or maybe not, I don't know. But here it goes: (It'll help if you read the entire passage for context, and the two-word sentence is in bold maroon color italics.)

Now Jesus had not yet entered the village, but was still at the place where Martha had met Him. When the Jews who were in the house consoling Mary saw how quickly she got up and went out, they followed her, supposing she was going to the tomb to mourn there. When Mary came to Jesus and saw Him, she fell at His feet and said, “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died.”

When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, He was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. “Where have you laid him?” He asked.

“Come and see, Lord,” they answered.

Jesus wept.

Then the Jews said, “See how He loved him!”

But some of them asked, “Could not this man who opened the eyes of the blind also have kept Lazarus from dying?”

Jesus, once again deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. “Take away the stone,” Jesus said.

“Lord, by now he stinks,” said Martha, the sister of the dead man. “It has already been four days.”

Jesus replied, “Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?”

So they took away the stone. Then Jesus lifted His eyes upward and said, “Father, I thank You that You have heard Me. I knew that You always hear Me, but I say this for the benefit of the people standing here, so they may believe that You sent Me.”

After Jesus had said this, He called out in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!”

The man who had been dead came out with his hands and feet bound in strips of linen, and his face wrapped in a headcloth.

“Unwrap him and let him go,” Jesus told them.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now, Stephanie, as a meager deacon of the Orthodox Church there probably isn't much I can do, directly, that will be guaranteed to help you, who are feeling lost right now, to be found again. But I am asked by my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, to lead the faithful in prayer, especially when one of our beloved family or friends has been recently taken from us to await the Resurrection of all the dead. Do you wish to share with me your brother's first name, so that I can pray for him as is our ancient custom? I surely hope that you will. Thanks.

His name is Thomas.

Gee, it sounds like you had a very close relationship with him, no? Either way, it's totally understandable that you will feel lost when you've so recently lost someone who has been such a large part of your life for so long. It's as if an important and necessary part of yourself has been ripped away, and this must be so devastating to you. Again, I'm sorry.

Our Lord God knows for Himself what it is to feel this agony of being separated from a dear loved one. I know that you wrote at first how you don't know the Bible perfectly, so I'll just take a moment to show you the shortest sentence that is in our English Bibles. It is only two words, but may speak most strongly to your own needs right now. Maybe, or maybe not, I don't know. But here it goes: (It'll help if you read the entire passage for context, and the two-word sentence is in bold maroon color italics.)

Now Jesus had not yet entered the village, but was still at the place where Martha had met Him. When the Jews who were in the house consoling Mary saw how quickly she got up and went out, they followed her, supposing she was going to the tomb to mourn there. When Mary came to Jesus and saw Him, she fell at His feet and said, “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died.”

When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, He was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. “Where have you laid him?” He asked.

“Come and see, Lord,” they answered.

Jesus wept.

Then the Jews said, “See how He loved him!”

But some of them asked, “Could not this man who opened the eyes of the blind also have kept Lazarus from dying?”

Jesus, once again deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. “Take away the stone,” Jesus said.

“Lord, by now he stinks,” said Martha, the sister of the dead man. “It has already been four days.”

Jesus replied, “Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?”

So they took away the stone. Then Jesus lifted His eyes upward and said, “Father, I thank You that You have heard Me. I knew that You always hear Me, but I say this for the benefit of the people standing here, so they may believe that You sent Me.”

After Jesus had said this, He called out in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!”

The man who had been dead came out with his hands and feet bound in strips of linen, and his face wrapped in a headcloth.

“Unwrap him and let him go,” Jesus told them.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now, Stephanie, as a meager deacon of the Orthodox Church there probably isn't much I can do, directly, that will be guaranteed to help you, who are feeling lost right now, to be found again. But I am asked by my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, to lead the faithful in prayer, especially when one of our beloved family or friends has been recently taken from us to await the Resurrection of all the dead. Do you wish to share with me your brother's first name, so that I can pray for him as is our ancient custom? I surely hope that you will. Thanks.

His name is Thomas. We weren't as close as we should have been. There were no problems between us but I was always so busy working and I didnt take time to spend with my family like I should have. I only saw him with his new baby twice. And I only live 30 minutes away. I have so much regret and anger at myself for the missed opportunity. And it hurts so much that I can't go back and make it right and tell him how sorry I am. Some days I let myself believe he is at home with his family just so I can make it through without crying. My little brother deserved so much more than what life he had. I just dont know what to do from here.

 

[StephanieAnn]

His name is Thomas.

His name is Thomas. We weren't as close as we should have been. There were no problems between us but I was always so busy working and I didnt take time to spend with my family like I should have. I only saw him with his new baby twice. And I only live 30 minutes away. I have so much regret and anger at myself for the missed opportunity. And it hurts so much that I can't go back and make it right and tell him how sorry I am. Some days I let myself believe he is at home with his family just so I can make it through without crying. My little brother deserved so much more than what life he had. I just dont know what to do from here.

And may I ask, as a deacon would you recomend me going to speak to a priest? And if so, do I just choose a church and walk in and ask for the priest? I dont know if there is a certain way things are done in a catholic church and I dont want to disturb anyone.

 

[truefiction1]

His name is Thomas.

His name is Thomas. We weren't as close as we should have been. There were no problems between us but I was always so busy working and I didnt take time to spend with my family like I should have. I only saw him with his new baby twice. And I only live 30 minutes away. I have so much regret and anger at myself for the missed opportunity. And it hurts so much that I can't go back and make it right and tell him how sorry I am. Some days I let myself believe he is at home with his family just so I can make it through without crying. My little brother deserved so much more than what life he had. I just dont know what to do from here.

Hmmm. I think I understand a little. Me and my dad had become estranged over things shortly before his diagnoses and passing shortly afterwards. Had we been close, and in a good relationship, I don't think his departure would have been so difficult for me. I too felt the seemingly unfix-able brokenness of having forever lost opportunity to have things really be right between myself and him.

But you couldn't know that you're brother wasn't going to be here now. The needs of life are so demanding on us, they give us little time and opportunity to do such things as we feel we ought to do. There's a lot of hard work, care, and attention that goes into learning how to be a nurse, and then working at it.

If you are sorry, you can still tell your brother this now. Ask him to forgive you for all your mistakes, and ask him, humbly, if possible, that he pray for you. And you can also pray for him to be forgiven all his shortcomings.

 

[truefiction1]

And may I ask, as a deacon would you recomend me going to speak to a priest? And if so, do I just choose a church and walk in and ask for the priest? I dont know if there is a certain way things are done in a catholic church and I dont want to disturb anyone.

As a deacon I do recommend that you speak with a priest, if possible. But I'm not Roman Catholic, so I don't know how things are done with them, exactly. I'm Eastern Orthodox, which is a different faith but just as old. If you hope to speak with an Orthodox priest, I think that you'd want to contact one ahead of time, via phone or email. Introduce yourself and tell them what you've told us about your faith as a Baptist and what you're going through now, and ask them if either they, or someone else they know of, can take some time to sit and talk. again, you might try just visiting a parish for a prayer service, like a Great Vespers service on some Saturday evening, in hopes that the priest will be available afterwards for a talk. Whatever you feel most comfortable doing.

 

[truefiction1]

I have to say goodnight now. Hope you can get some rest and some peace. For now, I'll pray for your brother, and for us.

You don’t need to pray these prayers with me if you don’t feel right about it, as there are considerable differences between our prayers and customs, and yours, since you’ve been brought up in the Baptist church culture.

(*) To clarify, and just so you’ll understand: When we ask that your brother’s memory be eternal, we are asking God to keep him in His remembrance throughout all of Eternity, because of your brother’s being there with Him forever in His Heavenly Kingdom. We ask God for this in prayer, and then we sing “Memory eternal” to God, 3 times.


Let us pray:


May He Who rose from the dead, Christ our true God, through the prayers of His all-pure mother; of the glorious and all-laudable Apostles; of our most holy and God-bearing Fathers; and of all the Saints;

Establish the soul of his servant, Thomas, who has been taken from us, in the mansions of the Righteous; give him rest in Abraham’s bosom, and number him among the just; and have mercy on us, forasmuch as He is good and Loves mankind.

Amen.

Grant rest eternal in blessed repose, O Lord, to Thy servant, Thomas, who is fallen asleep, and make his memory to be Eternal!

Memory Eternal!!!

Memory Eternal!!!

Memory Eternal!!!

 

[StephanieAnn]

As a deacon I do recommend that you speak with a priest, if possible. But I'm not Roman Catholic, so I don't know how things are done with them, exactly. I'm Eastern Orthodox, which is a different faith but just as old. If you hope to speak with an Orthodox priest, I think that you'd want to contact one ahead of time, via phone or email. Introduce yourself and tell them what you've told us about your faith as a Baptist and what you're going through now, and ask them if either they, or someone else they know of, can take some time to sit and talk. again, you might try just visiting a parish for a prayer service, like a Great Vespers service on some Saturday evening, in hopes that the priest will be available afterwards for a talk. Whatever you feel most comfortable doing.

Thank you so much for your advice and for taking time to talk to me about this. I think I will definitely go to a service..

 

[truefiction1]

Thank you so much for your advice and for taking time to talk to me about this. I think I will definitely go to a service..

You're welcome, and may God keep you under His protection.

 

[zippy2006]

And may I ask, as a deacon would you recomend me going to speak to a priest? And if so, do I just choose a church and walk in and ask for the priest? I dont know if there is a certain way things are done in a catholic church and I dont want to disturb anyone.

In the Catholic Church you could try to just go in and ask, but you would have better chances calling or emailing ahead and setting up a meeting with the priest. Where you live will determine whether it would be easier to see a Catholic or Orthodox priest.

Blessings and condolences,
Zip

 

[JimBeta]

Welcome!!!

 

[Dave-W]

You need grief counselling...and some anger feelings are going to be normal, you work through them.

I agree.

 

[Mountainmanbob]

Hi, I'm Stephanie. I joined to try to find some help, guidance actually. I've looked all over the internet for a resource to help me get in contact with someone that could answer my questions and no luck. So maybe through this site I can find the answers I need.

Welcome and I am sure that you will find much support here.

Christian brothers and sisters helping Christian brothers and sisters.

Iron sharpens iron.

Have a blessed day,
Bob

 

[Mountainmanbob]