struggling with masturbation

[Kasey]

Hi,
I have been trying to stop it for years but somehow I never make it longer than maybe 1 week. The thing is that it's not even certain wether it's a sin or not.
In most cases I don't have dirty fantasies. I get the urge to do it mostly when I'm depressed, it's a way to release tension.
Actually I wish I could just stop it but it doesn't work! After a few days I get the urge to do it and then I do it and then I feel bad and then the whole thing starts again.
I have tried to stop it so often somehow I cannot even imagine that I succeed one day and after all what does succeeding mean? Doing it never again? I doubt this is possible and imagine you have not done it for month and then you fall, then the chances are pretty good that you will fall again after a few days cause you are demoralized.
And I don't even know how to be free. I mean is it all down to my own will? Do I have to fight this fight and really fight the urge in my own strength? I don't think this works. I mean sometimes I win and do not do it but in most cases I simply give in.
And another really huge problem is that I often have really filthy dreams!
I dream of having sex with girls and when I wake up I have this stuff in my mind! That's like having watched a inappropriate contento! It affects you! When I dream such stuff then the chances are high that I touch the next day simply because I have this stuff in my head.
I don't like these dreams but what shall I do? I cannot do anything against them. I also do not watch inappropriate content. I mean it's not that I have never watched a inappropriate contento but I don't have this stuff at home and I do not watch it regularly, so inappropriate content is not a problem in my case.
But often 1 pic of a woman is enough to directly tempt me and when you surf on the internet you always see something filthy even when you're not looking for it.

Masturbation in and of itself is not wrong. You can touch to whatever fantasies that you have - there is no such thing as a thought crime. However, masturbation can lead to something wrong and hurtful. Example.

Im married. I have a wonderful wife. I could be with her or I could touch. Masturbation, even when I have a wife is not wrong, but if I continue to touch and neglect my wife, thats when it becomes wrong. I shouldnt substitute my wife for me just masturbating. There is a difference. Part of the joy of being married is to be with your spouse.

The point is, dont let masturbation consume you to where you actually, in some way, harm someone else. Thats when it becomes wrong.

 

[Godzman]

I think that people are saying it is alright because people think self gratification in our culture is the numero uno thing.

Got news for ya a Christian will put other before himself, and will strive to keep pure and share the love with a woman who is his wife.

Now are we perfect no, but I think touching yourself is a selfish thing to do, exspecially as Christians

 

[NoDeity]

Now are we perfect no, but I think touching yourself is a selfish thing to do, exspecially as Christians

Thank reason for saving me from a religion in which pleasure for its own sake is thought to be immoral.

 

[Godzman]

Thank reason for saving me from a religion in which pleasure for its own sake is thought to be immoral.

so pleasuring yourself in killing people is alright, what if you get pleasure from lifting yourself up and putting down others.

touching yourself degrades the women or man that you will be with one day. plain and simple.

The fact that personal gratification is so imporant to this world shows the contrast from the Christian and the non-christian, you see gratification is not wrong in the right context, a loving monogamous relationship preferbly marriage, but touching yourself often leaves those who do it with a feeling that they did something that was alright but would be better with another.

So I mean if you get pleasure from the suffering of others or selfish desires well i can understand why Chrisitianity is not for you

 

[Les Grands Pieds]

so pleasuring yourself in killing people is alright, what if you get pleasure from lifting yourself up and putting down others.

touching yourself degrades the women or man that you will be with one day. plain and simple.

The fact that personal gratification is so imporant to this world shows the contrast from the Christian and the non-christian, you see gratification is not wrong in the right context, a loving monogamous relationship preferbly marriage, but touching yourself often leaves those who do it with a feeling that they did something that was alright but would be better with another.

So I mean if you get pleasure from the suffering of others or selfish desires well i can understand why Chrisitianity is not for you

Wow, well I don't understand that at all. Should we touch only with another person? Why do you feel the need to post your opinion? Isn't that a little bit selfish too? Come on, dude. We can call things selfish all day, but it really won't accomplish anything if we don't understand what selfishness really means (as you obviously don't). Masturbation is perfectly normal and if it keeps you from losing control when you see a pretty girl at school, then it sounds like a good idea to me.

 

[Godzman]

Wow, well I don't understand that at all. Should we touch only with another person? Why do you feel the need to post your opinion? Isn't that a little bit selfish too? Come on, dude. We can call things selfish all day, but it really won't accomplish anything if we don't understand what selfishness really means (as you obviously don't). Masturbation is perfectly normal and if it keeps you from losing control when you see a pretty girl at school, then it sounds like a good idea to me.

welll once your done, you pretty much lost control

 

[Les Grands Pieds]

well, once you're done, you pretty much lost control

Yeah, but realize this.
1. your body is gonna release anyway
2. there's nobody else
3. would you rather "lose control" by yourself, or with another person? which is better?

As long as it's not done with lust, it's fine. Don't have a problem with getting sexual tension? That's awesome! Some of you peeps need to quit worrying so much. Just consult your heart on it.

 

[Jeszaramuhamadarthamusrex]

morality makes no sense.





"There is nothing devine about morality, it is a purely human affair." -Einstein

 

[CrownCaster]

I do not watch inappropriate content. But sometimes I see filthy pics on the net.
Anyway, this whole "walking in the spirit" stuff sounds so easy but it's not. I have no clue how it works.
And what shall I do when I have sexual dreams nearly every night? This is really starting to annoy me. I dream of sexual stuff nearly every night! How shall I be free when I dream such stuff? That's like watching inappropriate content every day!

If I might ask how old you are? If you are a teenage/early twenties, you are going to have the dreams and all much more frequently then when you get older. Not that the urge goes away, but it is not as prominent as when you are young. The hormones find their place and simmer down a little. I remember the teen years. man, that was hard.

 

[NoDeity]

so pleasuring yourself in killing people is alright, what if you get pleasure from lifting yourself up and putting down others.

What prompted you to introduce the notion of harming others in response to a post about pleasure? You make it sound as if I was saying that the only thing that matters is the immediate gratification of one's desires regardless of the consequences. I said no such thing.

touching yourself degrades the women or man that you will be with one day. plain and simple.

That's your opinion. You're entitled to your opinion, of course, but it seems rather presumptuous to present an opinion as if it were a proven fact unless you've got verifiable evidence to back it up. Got any?

The fact that personal gratification is so imporant to this world shows the contrast from the Christian and the non-christian,

I suggest to you that one of the of the differences between an altruist and someone who openly values personal gratification is that the altruist hides his personal gratification with supposedly noble terms.

you see gratification is not wrong in the right context, a loving monogamous relationship preferbly marriage, but touching yourself often leaves those who do it with a feeling that they did something that was alright but would be better with another.

Sure, sex with a loving partner is usually better than masturbation but that doesn't make masturbation wrong. If I enjoy a t-bone steak better than a peanut butter sandwich, does that make it wrong to enjoy a peanut butter sandwich from time to time?

So I mean if you get pleasure from the suffering of others or selfish desires well i can understand why Chrisitianity is not for you

Considering the context, you are equating getting pleasure from the suffering of others with giving solitary pleasure to oneself without harming anyone. The comparison is uncalled for and I find it rather insulting (and puzzling) that you apparently presume that if I don't think it's bad for me to make myself feel good then I must therefore enjoy the suffering of others.

 

[Kasey]

I think that people are saying it is alright because people think self gratification in our culture is the numero uno thing.

Got news for ya a Christian will put other before himself, and will strive to keep pure and share the love with a woman who is his wife.

Now are we perfect no, but I think touching yourself is a selfish thing to do, exspecially as Christians

Funny, what if your spouse wanted to see YOU touch?

What a whopping contradiction in terms, HA! Oh, and you hit it right on the money, YOU think its wrong, but that doesnt actually mean it IS wrong.

 

[fashionably_lonely]

Hot showers and chocolate candy is selfish too by that rationale.

 

[fashionably_lonely]

double post.

 

[an7222]

Masturbation is excelent. It releaves tension and stress and it is very much pleasant. But the only thing bad about it is when you exagerate and when you become addicted to it to the point that you prefer masturbating than doing the real thing.

 

[greetwell]

Masturbation is good for forearm development. I use my arms alternately. One day left and the next day right. Hell, masturbation can make me into a ambidextrous being.

 

[zauberkoenig]

I accept the problem and the place posted : It is (made) an issue of ethics, but interestingl enough did not appear on Christian scene before around 1710 - I knew that before. The book "Soltary Sex" , Zone Books New York 2003 gives detailed proof of how the fact artificially became a problem. Maybe it can help you to learn also how artificially something became a sin with dreadful consequences 300 years ago.

Cheers , blessings.

 

[philosopherthales]

It doesn’t exactly make much of a difference if masturbation reduces the risk of cancer because when the kids that are doing it today actually might get cancer in their 50s or so, cancer will be easily cured. Plus, there was 1 recent study that suggested that and it should not be taken as fact if it hasn’t been repeated thoroughly, proved with another scientific set-up and the mechanism for the affect on cancer rates is explained. These initial studies are wrong all the time. Also, some studies before this one suggested that sexual intercourse with another person increased risk of prostate cancer.



The idea that sexual desires can be bottled up and that if not allowed to manifest, will release themselves some other way goes against much of modern knowledge on how the brain works. This idea cam from Freud who lived hundreds of years ago and he was wrong on a lot of things. The brain works on connections. These connections can be replaced by other connections if not in use; It is as simple as that. When one suppresses sexual desires, the desires eventually are not as present in your mind. To let your brain think about sexual desires, those ideas will be more present in your thought process.



These things may not be true for some people, especially in the short run but eventually, you won’t dream ‘wet dreams’ and your mind won’t wander to sex. It strikes me as funny when people try to explain what happens when you suppress sexual desires long-term if they sound like they haven’t even tried it short-term.



Hey, if you want to quit, you need to stop thinking about these things. And this is completely possible. Just learn a process similar to meditation. Try to learn to control whatever images are in your mind at one time. Sexual imagery may be too hard at first, so just close your eyes and try to visualize an everyday object. Also, practice just not thinking without your intent. Don’t allow your mind to wander to anything without your express will. Another ‘exercise’ you can do it just plain exercise. Physical exercise if of course, self inflicted pain and it gets you out of the pain/pleasure state of consciousness. If you want to be able to enjoy intercourse, then this might be a problem since you have to ‘be able to get in the mood’ and if you train your mind like this, you just can’t.



As for masturbation being a sin, I don’t know. It actually might cause suffering, because every person has a chance to do great things in their life and concentrating on desire just takes up too much time. You could be a world leader, but probably not if you have other stuff on your mind.



I personally just think that masturbation messes with your mind. Looking at inappropriate contentography gets you into a mindset of objectifying women (I have done both masturbation and have looked at inappropriate contentography). If you want your thoughts to be concordant with the truth: all people are equal so pleasure by anyone should be thought of as the same. And pleasures like this are really unimportant when compared to the horrors in the world today. I mean, if you touch, then you are giving into pleasure manifesting in the present, but you give no thought at that time to the torture of human beings that are manifest in the present as well.



I also think that pleasure seeking is just a pure waste of time. I don’t believe that life after death in some form is true/false (I have no idea) so time on Earth could be all I have. Tend to think of life as: make the right decision about what you do with it and don’t discredit any possibilities without thought. Pleasure seeking is just repetitive and since life is an experience, you should want to experience as much as you can, no? I do a lot of pleasure seeking, I admit, my mind has been hardwired to do it for so long it seems impossible to get out of it. But with time, It will be less and less hardwired.



To someone that says “don’t fight yourself”, all I can say is, life is boring without a purpose. The noblest purpose besides helping others is improving your mind. Masturbation seems to be a part of neither of these.

 

[The Seeker]

If anybody is struggling with masturbation, I recommend trying it with the other hand for a while

Seriously tho, repressing yourself sexually is a really bad idea and can only cause trouble.

 

[philosopherthales]

Seriously tho, repressing yourself sexually is a really bad idea and can only cause trouble. – the seeker

Sounds like an assumption. You say something is bad or good based on what? Because it seems to be bad or good. What does masturbation lead to that is good? What does masturbation lead to that is bad? What an action leads to is what supports the idea that the action is bad or good.



Negative Effects of masturbation:

-objectification of women/men

personal pleasure/pain higher priority mindset

-Time that could be used for good used up by something that is neutral at best

-Possibily is a sin in the Christian sense. If homosexuality, adultery is a sin, then personal gratification + doesn’t hurt anybody does not justify an act.



What is the Good?

-less pain in world in some situations and more in others.

-reduces risk of prostate cancer. Though that is like saying that we should do something if it reduces the risk of getting something easily cured. Since, cancer will be easily cured by the time prostate cancer occurs. I would say it is going to take 10 years min. and 30 years max. to cure cancer.

I think that people are saying it is alright because people think self gratification in our culture is the numero uno thing.- Godzman

The assumption comes from the culture.......and the human mind! Lets not forget the elephant in the room.

 

[meshnaster]

the best way to stop masturbating is to constantly remind yoruself to never do it. for instance, write yourself notes and put them in places where you'll definately see them. for the sake of privacy, write notes that no one else will understand, but where you know exactly what they mean.

the physical act of masturbation, i beleive, is not wrong, but the state of mind that leads to it is. ya touch when you are horny. ya get horny when ya think about sex or when ya think about something in a sexual way. one thing i did is to put a note in my pocket. whenever i got a boner and i stuck my hand in my pocket to hide it or move it out of sight, i'd find my note, which would remind me to stop thinking about whatever sexual thing i was thinking of.

and if you stop masturbating, then you have fewer things to urge you to lust, and therefore you lust less and then it's easier to stop masturbating (easier, not easy). and after not masturbating for a while, the urge gets a lot less. it's discouraging to go a month, then mess up, but it is very possible to stop altogether.

try to not think of girls sexually. paul beat his body into submission so it does what he wants. keep God on your mind all the time and you won't have room for lust.