Hello
I'm from Cyprus in Europe and I'm Greek Orthodox.
I need some advice about my situation. I'm a 45 year old married man with a son in his early teens. I am gay and in the closet. I have kept this secret from my wife of 22 years. I have been away from sin for 1 year now after having confessed.
My problem is I keep having sinful thoughts mainly because there is temptation everywhere.
I read the Bible everyday and pray, but I feel weak and I'm afraid I'll fall into temptation and sin again... ☹
Repost
I heard a person say “everyone deals with a sin of preference”. He meant, we all have a stronger desire (sin) that we tend to lean to more. For example, for an alcoholic, its alcohol. A person who is a recovering alcoholic could have a really hard time when he is around alcohol. I never had a desire to drink so I can live in a bar and never have a desire to drink, because that’s not what my soul seeks.
Now, the thing about sin/wickedness is that there’s a hidden reason for it. The attraction/desire is coming for a reason, and the devil knows what it is, but so does God. The devil accuses you, but God brings it up to heal you. For example, in the case of an alcoholic, the desire to drink alcohol its to numb a feeling, situation, problem or even other desires. The alcohol becomes an excape. Unfortunately that escape also brings your body down as well, you get two problems; finding the hidden problem for drinking and that the body is now qddicted.
In the case of lust and sexual desires,we have to understand that the body is also involved. Sexual desire is a natural desire, the problem starts when the devil distorts the image/reason behind God’s original healthy plan. The devil, using inappropriate content or other things can perverse the initial healthy natural desire of sex. So, the first thing I’d do is admit x desire doesn't align with God’s plan and ask God to show you His truth.
The best thing you can do is know yourself and your limitations. Know what your triggers are. For an alcoholic could be avoiding going into bars or social events with alcohol involved until he is strong enough. A great technique I learn from Bob Hamp.is that every time you get a desire to do something that you know it’s against God’s natural plan, grab a piece of paper qnd write whats going on through your mind and talk to God about it. Most of the time, the desire will go away.
Since we were born without God in us we desire earthly things. That’s our nature. Once we are born again the Spirit of the Lord make us grow so we can overcome those desires, and His nature becomes our nature. The devil will never forget your past, but the Lord will always be there to show you who you are; made in His image. The devil can lure us into doing things, but when we learn self control, we can overcome. One of my favorite passages is when God tells Cain: Sin is knocking at your door but you can overcome it.