Greek73

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Hello
I'm from Cyprus in Europe and I'm Greek Orthodox.
I need some advice about my situation. I'm a 45 year old married man with a son in his early teens. I am gay and in the closet. I have kept this secret from my wife of 22 years. I have been away from sin for 1 year now after having confessed.
My problem is I keep having sinful thoughts mainly because there is temptation everywhere.
I read the Bible everyday and pray, but I feel weak and I'm afraid I'll fall into temptation and sin again... ☹
 

Tigger45

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Welcome to CF and keep fighting the good fight. We are all struggling with some form of sin. Don’t feed it and don’t give in. Keep seeking support primarily from your priest and other Christians especially the Orthodox here at TAW The Ancient Way - Eastern Orthodox
 
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hedrick

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Introduce Yourself isn't the right place for this. Moderators generally redirect substantial discussions to the appropriate forum. If you look, you've find that there are groups for discussion of struggles over sexuality.

However you should think about your attitude. Even if you accept that homosexuality is legitimate for Christians, you might still believe that you are called to honor your commitment to your family. In that case you'll want one kind of help, which CF might be an appropriate place for. (Note however that you're generally better off getting help in-person from someone with counseling experience.)

If you don't consider yourself bound to this commitment, or believe that trying to keep it will create harm to yourself or those around you that's unacceptable, CF is not the right place to talk about it.
 
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dreadnought

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Hello
I'm from Cyprus in Europe and I'm Greek Orthodox.
I need some advice about my situation. I'm a 45 year old married man with a son in his early teens. I am gay and in the closet. I have kept this secret from my wife of 22 years. I have been away from sin for 1 year now after having confessed.
My problem is I keep having sinful thoughts mainly because there is temptation everywhere.
I read the Bible everyday and pray, but I feel weak and I'm afraid I'll fall into temptation and sin again... ☹
Sexual immorality is sexual immorality, whether it's of a heterosexual or homosexual nature. You need to stop entertaining immoral sexual thoughts, period.
 
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Mountainmanbob

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I have kept this secret from my wife of 22 years. I have been away from sin for 1 year now after having confessed.
My problem is I keep having sinful thoughts mainly because there is temptation everywhere.

The Bible tells us to finish the good race. We have (our) work cut out for us.

Congratulations on your one year clean time -- keep up the good work.

M-Bob
 
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Job3315

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Hello
I'm from Cyprus in Europe and I'm Greek Orthodox.
I need some advice about my situation. I'm a 45 year old married man with a son in his early teens. I am gay and in the closet. I have kept this secret from my wife of 22 years. I have been away from sin for 1 year now after having confessed.
My problem is I keep having sinful thoughts mainly because there is temptation everywhere.
I read the Bible everyday and pray, but I feel weak and I'm afraid I'll fall into temptation and sin again... ☹

Repost
I heard a person say “everyone deals with a sin of preference”. He meant, we all have a stronger desire (sin) that we tend to lean to more. For example, for an alcoholic, its alcohol. A person who is a recovering alcoholic could have a really hard time when he is around alcohol. I never had a desire to drink so I can live in a bar and never have a desire to drink, because that’s not what my soul seeks.

Now, the thing about sin/wickedness is that there’s a hidden reason for it. The attraction/desire is coming for a reason, and the devil knows what it is, but so does God. The devil accuses you, but God brings it up to heal you. For example, in the case of an alcoholic, the desire to drink alcohol its to numb a feeling, situation, problem or even other desires. The alcohol becomes an excape. Unfortunately that escape also brings your body down as well, you get two problems; finding the hidden problem for drinking and that the body is now qddicted.

In the case of lust and sexual desires,we have to understand that the body is also involved. Sexual desire is a natural desire, the problem starts when the devil distorts the image/reason behind God’s original healthy plan. The devil, using inappropriate content or other things can perverse the initial healthy natural desire of sex. So, the first thing I’d do is admit x desire doesn't align with God’s plan and ask God to show you His truth.

The best thing you can do is know yourself and your limitations. Know what your triggers are. For an alcoholic could be avoiding going into bars or social events with alcohol involved until he is strong enough. A great technique I learn from Bob Hamp.is that every time you get a desire to do something that you know it’s against God’s natural plan, grab a piece of paper qnd write whats going on through your mind and talk to God about it. Most of the time, the desire will go away.

Since we were born without God in us we desire earthly things. That’s our nature. Once we are born again the Spirit of the Lord make us grow so we can overcome those desires, and His nature becomes our nature. The devil will never forget your past, but the Lord will always be there to show you who you are; made in His image. The devil can lure us into doing things, but when we learn self control, we can overcome. One of my favorite passages is when God tells Cain: Sin is knocking at your door but you can overcome it.
 
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Project Panda

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Hello
I'm from Cyprus in Europe and I'm Greek Orthodox.
I need some advice about my situation. I'm a 45 year old married man with a son in his early teens. I am gay and in the closet. I have kept this secret from my wife of 22 years. I have been away from sin for 1 year now after having confessed.
My problem is I keep having sinful thoughts mainly because there is temptation everywhere.
I read the Bible everyday and pray, but I feel weak and I'm afraid I'll fall into temptation and sin again... ☹
Just be yourself mate.
 
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Greek73

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Do you love your wife? Does she know?

Yes I love my wife. This is why I am fighting these feelings! But she doesn't know I'm gay!!! I think she suspects it though because I've made some mistakes in the past which gave her a few hints that I'm cheating, but I have never admitted it and she hasn't any proof, besides her suspicions.
 
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akaDaScribe

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Yes I love my wife. This is why I am fighting these feelings! But she doesn't know I'm gay!!! I think she suspects it though because I've made some mistakes in the past which gave her a few hints that I'm cheating, but I have never admitted it and she hasn't any proof, besides her suspicions.

Are you still regularly intimate with her?
 
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Greek73

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Introduce Yourself isn't the right place for this. Moderators generally redirect substantial discussions to the appropriate forum. If you look, you've find that there are groups for discussion of struggles over sexuality.

However you should think about your attitude. Even if you accept that homosexuality is legitimate for Christians, you might still believe that you are called to honor your commitment to your family. In that case you'll want one kind of help, which CF might be an appropriate place for. (Note however that you're generally better off getting help in-person from someone with counseling experience.)

If you don't consider yourself bound to this commitment, or believe that trying to keep it will create harm to yourself or those around you that's unacceptable, CF is not the right place to talk about it.

Thank you @hedrik
I'm new to CF so I don't know how the forum works! I thought that I was posting in a forum, but as it seems I was wrong! Can you or someone else please explain what the right way to discuss this is?
 
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akaDaScribe

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Thank you everyone for your replies and prayers!

Based on the information you’ve given, it sounds like you need to identify what makes you want to do it.

The thrill of the chase
The thrill of being chased
Taking risks
Feeling dominant
Feeling subordinate
Being bored with your life
Etc…

The reason I bring up the points is because some of these elements could be incorporated into your marriage with a bit of work. You really need to get closer to your wife and rediscover/discover what you love about her. The closer you get, the more attractive she will be to you. In addition, the closer you get, the more safe you will feel to express some of your needs. And who knows? She may have some of those same needs.

In some ways fidelity won’t ever be as exciting as infidelity. On the other hand, a deeper relationship with someone who knows you and loves you for you is irreplaceable.

Beyond that, learn to be content with what you have and develop other aspects of your life.

Just 1 man’s opinion. ;)
 
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hedrick

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Thank you @hedrik
I'm new to CF so I don't know how the forum works! I thought that I was posting in a forum, but as it seems I was wrong! Can you or someone else please explain what the right way to discuss this is?
Introduce Yourself is technically a forum, but it's really intended for greeting new members. I recommend "Struggles with Sexuality," in the "Recovery" category.

You'll want to look at the statement of purpose first:
Statement of Purpose - MUST READ & General Information for SWS Statement of Purpose

This assumes that you consider homosexuality wrong, and want help in dealing with homosexual attraction. If you're considering whether it's really wrong, CF isn't the place for that discussion.
 
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FranklinJM777

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Hello
I'm from Cyprus in Europe and I'm Greek Orthodox.
I need some advice about my situation. I'm a 45 year old married man with a son in his early teens. I am gay and in the closet. I have kept this secret from my wife of 22 years. I have been away from sin for 1 year now after having confessed.
My problem is I keep having sinful thoughts mainly because there is temptation everywhere.
I read the Bible everyday and pray, but I feel weak and I'm afraid I'll fall into temptation and sin again... ☹
 
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FranklinJM777

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I'm quite nervous...but this is good... Started searching the internet, looking for accountability against SSA. I too am an older male, with a son, currently going through a divorce. Looking to connect with someone for accountability. We could do it by email...maybe eventually phone. Seems awkward to post this for everyone to see! Can I message privately?
 
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