I call it 'conviction.' To be blatantly honest, caring more for your soul than I do your feelings right now... it's your spirits way of letting you know that you aren't on the 'right level' with Jesus Christ; that there's room for improvement.
"Forsake not the gathering of yourselves together", as Hebrews tells us. The Church is like a flock of sheep, and our enemy, the Devil, is as a roaring lion. He can't stand against us all when we stand together, but when a sheep goes its own way it's more in danger than it may think. "Your adversary, the devil, walks around like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour." Jesus didn't tell us to gather together for no reason - He doesn't tell us
anything without a valid reason behind it.
Pray and ask God where He wants you to go, and He will answer you. It's His will above our own
entirely, we don't just pick what we like and do away with the rest. This, my friend, is lukewarm. God understands if you are sick and can't make it to church. He cares and understands on a deeper level than any of us can comprehend, at that. I don't believe He understands why you only want to meet with your brethren twice a year at best. 1 John 1:3 says "That which we have seen and heard declare we unto you, that ye also may have
fellowship with us: and truly our
fellowship is with the Father, and with his Son Jesus Christ."
Have you accepted Christ as your personal savior? And no, if you have, I'm not calling your faith into question... I just want to know if you've given your life to Him. As it's been said in this thread earlier, Jesus can give you rest. There is a peace beyond understanding, a light in the darkness, and a love that's true.
He's waiting to give those things to you. He will never leave you behind, and what I believe your spirit is trying to tell you is that He has never left you behind, but He's been waiting for you with open arms.
There is a renewing in you once you've accepted Him. He can make you new again. Faith doesn't say "I guess I'll go to Church", faith says "I want to go to Church. I need to go to Church. I hunger and thirst for God's Word." Faith doesn't say "I feel strange and saddened here and I need to leave", faith says "I can tell that something is wrong, and I need to take a step in faith to make it right."
If you believe that there
is a God, great! But that alone doesn't save you. The demons understand that God exists, and they tremble. Being saved is having an active and
growing relationship with the one savior of man, Jesus Christ.
How can you grow in Christ? "
Desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby(1 Peter 2:2)." Get into your Bible. None of us have schedules so busy that we can't set time aside for God's Divine Word. Read it, grow in it, apply it to your everyday life and strive for perfection in Christ's image - that's how to grow.
It's illogical to say that you are merely part of the worldwide, universal church, yet refuse to gather with the segment of that universal church that exists in your geographical area. It would be like claiming you have a car, when the right fender is in Phoenix, the engine is in Tucson, and the wheels are in Paradise Valley! You don't have a car; you have the beginning of the inventory for a junkyard. It just won't function until the pieces are put together. --
Christiananswers.net
I have to agree with Davis here, it's NOT about us at all. Haven't you heard "For it is no longer I that live, but Christ who lives within me"? That aint just whistling dixie. That's God's truth. Even if you chalk up my post to lunacy, and that your spirit isn't convicting you - maybe you believe that you can go your own way based on what you 'feel'. Here's some food for thought. “The
heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it? Further, as the Lord tells us, judge
all things by His Word. Not by the heart. Not even for the mind. If what you feel and what you think doesn't add up to the Word, you feel and think wrongly.
The flesh wishes to gratify the flesh. The flesh would rather sit at home and watch TV than go to church. Read the Book of Romans. When we're baptized, we're baptized into His death. As the quote goes, 'Born once, die twice. Born twice, die once.' Jesus tells us that if we would follow Him, to "deny yourselves, pick up your cross daily, and follow Me."
Deny your earthly desires, and the gratification of the flesh. Pick up your cross and bear with it, and strive to walk as Christ walked... that's the only way to
truly live. That's the only way to grow. That's the way to please God.
I would be very happy to answer any questions you may have. Please, don't take this message the wrong way. Use it to grow, benefit from it, because I'm not telling you a personal opinion... I'm telling you the Word of God. My PM box is always open.
In Christ,
Blake Michael