Stop me if you've heard this...

[LovebirdsFlying]

Light-hearted question on ethics, or etiquette, whichever this is.

If you're telling a story to someone who has already heard you tell it, which of these responses would you prefer? Which would you think is rude?

1.) Interrupting you to say you've told it already.
2.) Letting you tell the entire story, but then showing no reaction at all when you get to the punch line/climax.

Me, I'd rather be tactfully interrupted at the beginning than to get all the way through the story and get no reaction when I'm done. No laugh, no smile, no nod, no "That's the stupidest story I've ever heard in my life," not even crickets. Just stone-faced silence.

"Did you get it?"
"Yeah, you've told me that before."
"Well, why didn't you stop me?"
"I thought it would be rude to interrupt."

I suppose such tactics as beating you to the punch line or starting to recite the story along with you would definitely be rude.

Your preference?

Corollary question: Whether or not you've heard the story before, is it rude, in itself, not to react?

 

[tulc]

What if instead of reaction one or two you laugh at the right places in the story and continue the conversation? Personally? I think the definition of polite is to try and never make the person you're talking to feel dumb...no matter how dumb they are. I'm reminded of one of my favorite scenes in any movie ever:

tulc(also recommends being pleasant)

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

I like that clip.

I think the response I would prefer if I've told the story already is to say cheerfully at the first opportunity, "Oh, yes, I remember you telling me this. It was funny." NOT a blunt, "You've told me this story a dozen times." The other polite option, I suppose, would be sitting there nodding your head and laughing like you've never heard it before.

But letting me get all the way to the end of the story and then sitting there so unresponsive I wonder if he even heard me talking.... I think that's rude. (This will give some of you a clue who I'm referring to.)

It's funny, when I was a child I used to enjoy hearing my grandmother tell stories she'd told before. I didn't even want her to vary the words, and I'd feel a little cheated if she did.

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

Oh, it occurs to me, there is an element that isn't clear.

In the above scenario, you and the other person are the only ones in the room. If there are other people present who have not heard the story, then I do think it would be rude to interrupt and say "You've told this before."

 

[Dave-W]

Tell me at the start.

 

[Tropical Wilds]

Generally speaking, if the story is being told the me only, I’ll:

1. I’ll smile, laugh, nod, and otherwise be engaged in the story, and let them finish. The reason being is, since developing severe anxiety, I’ve realized that many times the story is being told not just for the benefit of the listener but the benefit of the teller. Maybe it’s an icebreaker story that helps them feel at ease, maybe it’s the best story they have for the situation and they feel more a part of the dynamic if they tell it, or maybe they genuinely forgot telling you and they’re excited to share it. So I let them and go along for the ride.

Or

2. If it’s a particularly long story or a story I know is inappropriate for whatever reason, I’ll say at the beginning in a natural pause “Oh my gosh, I remember this story!” And give a quick recap of it and react while telling it (if it’s not inappropriate). That way I can show i paid attention the first time, it stuck with me, and still give them the satisfaction of a “pleased audience” (for lack of a better word).

If the story is being told to a group I’m a part of, I let the teller finish on the assumption others may not have heard it, or act as the “I haven’t heard it” or “I want to hear it” buffer if somebody interjects they’ve heard the story before.

Basically, I want to leave a conversation or interaction better than I came into it. If that means hearing a story again, unless it’s really inappropriate for the scenario (jokes at a funeral sort of thing), I’ll let them have at it.

 

[*LILAC]

My mother in law is bad for this. She does it so often that I used to say "Hey, I've heard this before!" to her continuing to repeat stuff and I think it might be due to forming dementia. She simply does not remember because she seems to be able to tell the same tale with just as much enthusiasm as the first time 'round. So for some, I can be patient and let them finish while eyerolling on the inside. lol But for people like my siblings, it's perfectly OK to interrupt and finish for them!