yes, I do see what you meanSpiritual abuse and anyone who thinks he is an u to hable guru is real, but that list was created by an atheist guru spreading secularist propaganda.
Holding to doctrine is not abusive; manipulating or threatening someone else into adopting your doctrinal position is. And it happens all too often.
Unless it's a cult, public education or the government I don't see how that can happen.
No dictator, it is a very real phenomena. One example of the context was what my friend experienced. You can find my posts describing it on the thread. I agree the list is broad, and each of the points can be twisted by someone without devotion to truth.Your list has no context most of the stuff you have on here sounds like someone with an authority complex. Jesus Christ would be guilty of some of the things on your list. You need to give context.
In the church we belong to now, the pastor is very humble. There have been some excellent bible teachers, and humble, caring members. I haven't seen spiritual abuse in this church, but we tried a number of churches before we found this one. I read that spiritual abuse is common, so you have likely witnessed this first hand too.In my experience, the majority of those in positions of authority within the church, shouldn't even be teaching in the first place. Humility is a trademark of the true servant of Christ. Anyway, take care. Prayers for you!
That's very insightful, that an individual could have developed the ability to lead but not have the anointing. And the selection of "people with the right last name" does go on in churches, a fact we don't like to acknowledge. If someone questions those that bestowed this appointment, they can be met with "shading of truth" justifications, and even outright attack. This is what I have seen, that I find alarming.Sometimes people get put into a position of leadership and they were not chosen by God. They have the ability to lead but not the anointing to lead. It just causes hurt when we do things with out the Lord. They often get people who "have the right last name" or someone with an excellent skills set.
We all do it. We look at what the world values. Degrees, good looks, charisma, economic success or an all round successful individual who can socialize and serve with no problems etc.
In the bible God chose the incapable, the servant the week.
Now a days being a pastor or leader is prestigious. Many young people's dream "career choice" is a leader. The unhealed part of them want it for the wrong reason.
We need God to lift people up to lead. We must pray God builds His church.
Only God knows the horrific carnage spiritual manipulation and abuse has caused. He takes it very serious. I know far to many individuals who have been savaged by wolves in sheep's clothing.
As a person who loves to pray I feel protective. I hate seeing sheep hurt. We need to pray
None of what is being discussed here is spiritual, other than legalism and that would be demonic.
You are describing convict and challenge theology that places guilt on the flock constantly.
It is most common in Churches who are independent fundamental Baptist but I'm sure others are the same way too.
The notion that what ever the Pastor says is true,no matter what God's Word says is a good sign.
They are small groups that stay in emotional turmoil due to trying to live up to the Pastors OCD problems.
Often the leadership has sin issues themselves such as lust and lies to cover their faults.
In the right environment not all of your points are bad,but when you feel worthless when you get out of Sunday prison ,you know you simply have to leave.
They will always be toxic and always quench the Spirit that dwells in you.
They run more people from God than they bring.
The doctrine is focused on the Church more than the Body of Christ.
Their ego will not let them approve of any other Churches other than one just like them miles away.
My advice is not to dwell on them just move on to a Church that is centered around Christ and the teaching of God's Word in proper context,not twisting it to make up stupid rules.
Matthew: 23. 27. Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye are like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men's bones, and of all uncleanness. 28. Even so ye also outwardly appear righteous unto men, but within ye are full of hypocrisy and iniquity. 29. Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! because ye build the tombs of the prophets, and garnish the sepulchres of the righteous, 30. And say, If we had been in the days of our fathers, we would not have been partakers with them in the blood of the prophets. 31. Wherefore ye be witnesses unto yourselves, that ye are the children of them which killed the prophets. 32. Fill ye up then the measure of your fathers. 33. Ye serpents, ye generation of vipers, how can ye escape the damnation of hell? 34. Wherefore, behold, I send unto you prophets, and wise men, and scribes: and some of them ye shall kill and crucify; and some of them shall ye scourge in your synagogues, and persecute them from city to city
I have to come back to this, because I want to read through it carefully.I can only agree to about half of that list. In fact it sounds bigoted and hippocritical. Because a person believes in certain truths that his community may regard as doctrine but you may not agree with, is abusive? Isn't rthe insistence on many things on that list reverse discrimination and abuse? Sounds like a list that was thought up by some antifa sjw marxist. I can assure you that list was created by a secular humanist looking to spread atheism. Note the obsession on that list of the "goodness" of the carnal appetites.
I think there is wisdom in that - I haven't had the chance to look for another list, but that is a good point, that all the behaviors on the list are those that have the propensity to be used to control others.I think the thing is, any of these things can become abusive when they are used to control. The list is a sample of behaviours which are often used to control others.
Holding to doctrine is not abusive; manipulating or threatening someone else into adopting your doctrinal position is. And it happens all too often.
That is a real issue that you bring up. I think that's why the verse in Timothy "rightly handling the Word of Truth" is critical, because it's easy for any of us with inborn sin to misinterpret anything for self-serving reasons.I think we have two extremes here (and for the record, I’m not referring to anyone on this thread). On one side you have today’s societal revulsion to anyone telling someone they’re wrong. We’ve become a nation of “victims.” Write an article linking obesity to certain health problems like heart disease and diabetes? “YOU’RE FAT SHANIMG!” Tell young girls that they shouldn’t be promiscuous? “YOU’RE [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] SHAMING!” (and yeah, that goes for boys too) Tell people the Bible says it’s sinful to commit adultery? “SPIRITUAL ABUSE!”
On the other hand we have people who use scripture to perpetuate selfish control over others. I couldn’t begin to count how many stories I’ve heard of an abusive person using “divorce is a sin and you’ll go to hell” to keep their spouse from leaving them. I can also tell you from firsthand experience being told that if I left a particular denomination I’d be cast into the Lake of Fire.
The problem with the first group is that it makes people numb to the cries for help of the second group. And to me, that’s the real shame of it all.
There is NO talking back to any Pastor of any Church, you would kicked out.
There's some different ways to define spiritual abuse. The one I understand is something like: Being hurt by anyone who you believe has the right to expect something from you. If you can dig into what that means and understand why it is more deeply, you will acquire a stronger shield against it. It is essentially a product of evil.I'm writing an article on spiritual abuse. My husband and I encountered it in a church we tried, and I later experienced it on (another) Christian forum.
I've found the authoritarian abuse by leaders in varying positions in the church and on forums, is often confusing, and we don't recognize what it is right away. Sensitive spirits are wounded by professing Christians, who don't seem to care that they inflict pain, and insist their hurtful actions shouldn't be questioned.
It is my belief that spiritual abuse is a severe form of pride, and is a sin and that Christian leaders will do almost anything to keep their sin, and the truth about themselves hidden.
I did cursory research and learned that spiritual abuse is widespread, and I'd like to get feedback from other believers, as to whether they have experienced it or not. I'm including some signs of spiritual abuse:
The following are several signs of spiritual abuse:
- Stating personal religious convictions and preferences as fact for everyone
- Religious convictions and preferences are stated as black and white
- Requirements for church attendance
- Dress and clothing requirements (appearance is a priority)
- Closed minded about different interpretations of Scripture
- Misinterpretations of scripture
- Questioning the leaders is discouraged
- Judging others
- Excessive gossip
- Hostility towards “heathens” and others who are not believers
- Only people who go to a certain church are believers
- Only reading a certain Bible version is allowed
- Sexuality is seen as dirty, bad, and/or sinful
- Strict discipline standards for children
- Promoting spanking above all other forms of discipline
- Guilt trips for taking vacation and missing church
- Teaching Tithing
- Emphasis on traditions
- Music standards
- Performance appraisals
- Push towards perfection
- Required devotional or quiet time
- Levels or degrees of spirituality
- Focusing on the penalty for sinning
- Emphasis on God “chastening” you
- Looking down on people who have left the church or denomination
- Requiring a refusal of medical services
- Required membership
- Discarding psychology
- Mental health issues are considered sinful or non-existent
- Depression/Anxiety considered a sin
- Your not spiritual enough if something bad happens to you
- God is judging you for sin in your life
- Being told “You need more faith” or “You don’t have enough faith”
- Child discipline tactics that include warnings about God’s wrath
- Rigid black and white thinking/answers to questions
- Too much emphasis on the spiritual and not enough emphasis on the physical
- Fears about the punishments of God
- Negative messages about sexuality
- Taught to deny the apatites of the body
- Emphasis on reading the Bible and praying heavily to appease God and avoid punishment
- Messages that you aren’t spiritual enough
- Your “suffering” (whatever it may be) is a result of some sin in your life
- Your physical illness is punishment for some sin in your life
There's some different ways to define spiritual abuse. The one I understand is something like: Being hurt by anyone who you believe has the right to expect something from you. If you can dig into what that means and understand why it is more deeply, you will acquire a stronger shield against it. It is essentially a product of evil.
It is more common to see spiritual abuse as being hurt by someone in authority when they think they have the right to speak into your life because of their connection with God, and usually about a spiritually-related subject. If they are doing this when you have not chosen to come under their spiritual authority, I'd flee these people. Unfortunately, it is extremely difficult to find anyone worthy of spiritual authority, but a person might not be so bad if they are genuinely humble. It is realistic and good to seek oversight from such people, but do not be hasty in yielding to their authority. Get to know them first. If they are good for you, you may very well come to desire their advice, instruction, and/or help.
Why yield authority to anyone? Because then you get more and different kinds of help from God through them. However, fewer and fewer people seem to be raised to deal with hard-style authority figures any more. It has been becoming more and more the case that people never yield to spiritual authority (or any kind of authority). This leads to having less and less of God in our lives. Indeed we are self-destructing in this manner as a culture (leaders being immorimmoral leaders being one way it starts).
In practice we actually all only partially yield to another human's authority. To the degree you are genuinely submitted to someone you will receive blessings from God through them—and also be hurt by them. The blessings are eternal, but the pain is only for this life (which is not a statement meant to guide a person in their decisions in the matter).
Remember this: God wants you to become a person worthy of spiritual authority so you can help others. Learn lessons about it from interactions with authority figures, and of course from God.
My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, (James 1:19, 1984 NIV)
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