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Hi Greg,
I didn't make the list - I cut and pasted it from a website. I had a hard time following your thoughts, but believe you're saying that trying to avoid committing the actions on that list are futile; that change must occur from within? That would work, if the leaders would own up to their actions. If an individual encounters several individuals in a leadership position who are committing spiritual abuse, how can they deal with the leaders who refuse to admit wrongdoing, and blame you for mistakes they are committing?
When I dealt with spiritual abuse both times, the leaders lorded their position over my friend, my husband, and me. When I attempted to try to reason with them, it was cut and dry - they pulled the "submission" scripture out to beat us with. Maybe their tactics work with some people, but if a believer is devoted to the truth, they won't buckle.
This is why I believe spiritual abuse may be one of satan's most clever tools. It's insidious, and destroys people and their faith. Leaders are used to people following them without questioning them, because of the "submission" verses in Scripture. But, "the law is good if it be used lawfully."
The social hierarchy in any Christian organization is the same as any barnyard pecking order. Most people want to stay in line. The pastors sinned, then drew more people into their sin, in their grasping fleshly desire to not have their "authority" challenged. At some level, those two couples from our bible study knew what they were doing was wrong. But, they used a tactic known on playgrounds across the country "might makes right."
Even after all these years it's hard to remember. Those pastors did everything within their power to hide their own sin - even to having others join them, to endorse them, that the fault lied with us and not them.
How can the church prevail against the evil one, when the evil one has the church's leaders pridefully doing his bidding?
Sorry I haven't been clear. At some point, I forgot you were writing an article, not trying to solve the problems at your church. Improving people's ability to identify spiritual abuse is a good goal for an article. (Who will be your audience? It might be more effective it is written for pastors and board members [and others] to raise awareness for controlling
their own behavior.)
… Leaders are used to people following them without questioning them, because of the "submission" verses in Scripture. But, "the law is good if it be used lawfully."
Mis-use of the Scripture is horrible spiritual abuse. Not only does it harm the person, but it reinforces a way of thinking that will be passed on to others. The Law is good if used lawfully is certainly true. Paul also wrote that the Law is for lawbreakers. People with a good heart will do good no matter what is in the Law, but people with an evil heart need the Law to know they are doing wrong. By the way, we all have some good and some evil in our hearts. It’s not an issue of “us” vs. “them.”
… How can the church prevail against the evil one, when the evil one has the church's leaders pridefully doing his bidding?
I think everything you have written are good observations. My posts in this thread are to try to convey what spiritual eyes see, which makes it more obvious what is actually going on, and sometimes makes the psychology of what is going on easier to see.
God has chosen to allow evil to continue on earth so that more people will be saved (Matthew 13:24-30). I believe it is impossible for a human to really understand what the reasons are in specific instances, or even how great the good is that God does by working through or around sinful/evil actions and events. No matter how it may seem, God is always actively resisting evil—and wants us to do the same through moral means—and will help us. Our problem is we can’t see the details of what is involved. We want God to grant immediate salvation (from whatever) even when God is working out a saving
strategy in the bigger picture.
If everyone in a church but an abusing pastor were fully devoted to Jesus Christ and obeying his will in all things, the Lord would have that pastor out of that role within a week. The problem is that few enough people have been so devoted in the past that we have extremely few spiritually strong people in any congregation, let alone enough so the Lord will move overtly. (How many churches do you know of that reliably have James 5:14-15 results?) We need the Lord to raise up and bring such people to us—which he will do in response to genuine needs. Unfortunately, my experience is that less than 1% of churches’ congregations have filled their life with obedience to Jesus (which is what we are commanded to do to be his disciples, and which leads to loving the Lord, which in turn empowers us to the obedience we had been struggling with before).
So, I wrote all that to say that it isn’t
just the pastor’s fault that he is like he is, and neither is it entirely any individual’s fault for the condition he or she is in. In a church with long-time members, most of them have contributed to the environment that exists. I’m not referring to what they have or haven’t done at church (which matters), but by their less-than-ideal devotion to Jesus Christ.
However, this does not make any individual less responsible for their actions. The one who abuses is the one who is responsible for having chosen to do it, and we need to take reasonable (often Scriptural) actions in response.
Paul wrote the following to Timothy. Older men in his culture were due respect almost “no matter what.” It is similar to the respect we should show pastors.
Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, (1 Timothy 5:1, 1984 NIV)
A pastor may not be worthy of respect, but neither are we particularly good at being obedient. They two problems feed each other. People need to be willing to break the cycle. (You can see how the problem has affected politics: selfish politicians and rebellious constituents.)
We are all sinful people and affected by sins we didn’t commit, including pastors. This is one reason why God commands and expects humility in our hearts all through the Bible. As the saying goes,
There but for the grace of God go I. Everything good we have received (and are) was/is a
gift from God that we did
nothing to
earn (because it is impossible to do so).
The most powerful solution to people abusing the power they have is for us to obey what God said about it, because that brings the will and power of God to the situation. What God wants is for us to obey the person who has legitimate authority over us with forgiveness, love, and humility as long as it does not require us to disobey God (or our government’s laws which are also from God). This is exactly what Jesus was doing that got him executed.
If we are obedient to someone who has legitimate authority over us in some way, God views it as being obedient to Him. If people have been generally disobedient, God sometimes will put them, or allow them to come, under the authority of someone also disobedient. This is essentially the type of leadership people have requested from God
by their actions. It is a reaction by people to bad things that is very contrary to “common sense,” but then, that shouldn’t really be surprising given the enormous contrast between what is “normal” to the world and what is good to God.
Behaving like God is always what is best in the long-term (and is also the most costly, Luke 9:22-26). Jesus suffered then died on the cross with forgiveness in his heart for those that were responsible for his crucifixion. Anything we can manage to do with that in our heart, no matter how small it seems, will have a powerfully good effect. The power God responds with to people who are doing this from their heart is enormous, and is what was in the heart of the people described in Hebrews 11:35-40. This truth is the reason Paul wrote 1 Corinthians 6:7, which is often indecipherable to people.
This can be called “the power of the cross.” It is the secret to life, available to us for all problems such as marriage problems, work problems, family problems, even health problems, and so on. God made the universe and the spiritual universe in his own image. Whenever someone suffers or sacrifices with the kind of heart of love Jesus had, he or she is uniting themselves with God and all of God’s power is present to work it out for great good. It is the one thing that is entirely foreign to Satan. He doesn’t and can’t comprehend it. Evil people also can’t ever (genuinely) do it or comprehend it. Satan’s power is zero in the face of it. Evil is destroyed in its presence.
However, do not interpret this to mean that what the person in authority is doing is good. We are also commanded to use moral means to work to correct any evil that is going on. When a situation seems like an apparent contradiction between humbly accepting what someone is doing and working to change what they are doing, it can be helpful to examine the long-term effects of dealing with it both ways (which we sort of do automatically, but not usually far enough into the future based on spiritual principles). Sometimes both can be done at the same time. Either way, definitely seek God for what his will is for you in such a situation, and pray/ask for what help you want God to do in the situation. And don’t feel bad if you can’t walk the path of the cross. Being aware of it and acting to please God in any way he requires (= trusting him) is what is most important. He will take care of everything else.
