something thats bothering me

[nIcKeNbOcKeR]

ive been going out with this christian girl for about 2 months now....shes the coolest person she loves god and shes on the worship team at church...thats what made me attracted to her in the first place....was her love for jesus....and then a friend of mine was telling me about 2 or 3 weeks ago that she used to talk behind peoples backs and just go off on how bad they are if they dont live up to her expectations....but then my friend(ill use the name sarah) said that that was in her(my girlfriends) past and that she doesnt think she does that anymore...then today the same friends(sarah) sister was in the park and walked by my girlfriend and one of her friends(ill use the name rachel) and overheard them talking the most meanest things you could about sarah....at first they didnt know who the other girl(my girlfriend) was....and just thought it mightbe another one of her friends or something....but i asked my girlfriend if she was hanging out with rachel today at the park and she said she was....i got kinda sad once i found out that it really was her....because i dont really know what to think....because i never thought that she could be the kind of person to do that kind of things....

my question is how do i bring up that subject with her without hurting her feelings....or making it seem like i was getting in on her business....because i like this girl alot and i dont really want to lose this relationship....i just want to know if she was the one talking **** about sarah or if it was rachel doing all the talking....because im not sure i can go out with someone that is a hypocrite in what they do....say they dont do stuff anymore....but then turn around and do the thing they say they dont do anymore...if this is confusing ill explain it clearer if you want....i just kinda need some advice..

 

[whatseekye]

I'm a little confused about who is saying what about who, but I think it boils down to one thing: Aren't your friends also gossiping against your girlfriend? So it seems like they are doing what they complained that your girlfriend is doing? I think the best thing is to go back to your friends and ask them why they are saying these things about your girlfriend. I have a feeling that they might not be totally open with you because they will be on the defensive, but you could possibly ask yourself why you think your friends are telling you bad things about your girlfriend. It's possible that there are some issues of jealousy there. Is it possible that your friend likes you? Sometimes girls can become very competitive over a good guy. On the other hand, they might think they are just being a good friend in telling you the "truth" about your girlfriend. But honestly, you are in a relationship with your girlfriend, and if she harbors a lot of bitterness against other people, you will see that yourself sooner or later. Perhaps a little patience with everyone, and forgiveness, will get you through this difficult situation. I am struggling with similar issues with my christian friends. It's honestly hard to find a christian friend who doesn't talk about other people from time to time. We need to mutually exercise patience and keep trying to do better. And sometimes the best thing to do is just ask a person to not gossip.

 

[MusicMelOU]

I don't think you need to break up with her over that, because you cannot expect anyone to be perfect. Everyone is a hypocrite in his/her own unique way.

What you should do, instead, is talk to her about this and tell her that it bothers you that you've heard such things. They might not even be true (your friend Sarah could be jealous of your girlfriend and could be making it all up; I've seen stuff like that happen before). But if it is true, don't kick her to the curb. Instead, gently let her know that her behavior is ungodly, and offer to pray with her so that God can help her get rid of this nasty problem. If she does not see it as a problem, pray that God will convict her heart.

Your job in a relationship is to be an encourager. Help her realize her sin, let her know how it hurts you, and offer to be a brother in Christ to help her overcome that sin.

 

[Macca]

ive been going out with this christian girl for about 2 months now....shes the coolest person she loves god and shes on the worship team at church...thats what made me attracted to her in the first place....was her love for jesus....and then a friend of mine was telling me about 2 or 3 weeks ago that she used to talk behind peoples backs and just go off on how bad they are if they dont live up to her expectations....but then my friend(ill use the name sarah) said that that was in her(my girlfriends) past and that she doesnt think she does that anymore...then today the same friends(sarah) sister was in the park and walked by my girlfriend and one of her friends(ill use the name rachel) and overheard them talking the most meanest things you could about sarah....at first they didnt know who the other girl(my girlfriend) was....and just thought it mightbe another one of her friends or something....but i asked my girlfriend if she was hanging out with rachel today at the park and she said she was....i got kinda sad once i found out that it really was her....because i dont really know what to think....because i never thought that she could be the kind of person to do that kind of things....

my question is how do i bring up that subject with her without hurting her feelings....or making it seem like i was getting in on her business....because i like this girl alot and i dont really want to lose this relationship....i just want to know if she was the one talking **** about sarah or if it was rachel doing all the talking....because im not sure i can go out with someone that is a hypocrite in what they do....say they dont do stuff anymore....but then turn around and do the thing they say they dont do anymore...if this is confusing ill explain it clearer if you want....i just kinda need some advice..

I'll come at this from a different angle.
Don't try to be Holy Spirit junior! Pray for her to allow God to change her.
No-one is perfect, including you!
Be encouraged to pray about 1: the relationship to be of God, and stick with it.
2: to pray for your girlfriend to grow in wisdom and the fruit of the Spirit.
Macca.

 

[Rafael]

Pray about it and ask God to give you the grace to show her the error of her ways. Sometimes this can be done by speaking about third person situations as the prophet Nathan did to King David when David was guilty of adultry and murder.
Remember to be graceful towards her and not too disappointed, as you are a sinner too, and will learn that there are many sins in our lives that become more revealed as we step closer to the light of His all revealing truth.
You may find a perfect opportunity if you will keep this knowledge prayerfully to yourself and God in a loving way. He will bring about a perfect time to tell her if you will wait upon Him and be humble to the fact tha you could very easily have done this sin in some measure yourself.
Let me add, that it is not bad to acknowledge sin in others and want to help them, as long as we remove the logs in our own eyes or deal with the sins in our own lives first.

Read 2Samuel 12:1 to about verse 20.

Mt 7:3-5 And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye?
Hypocrite! First get rid of the log from your own eye; then perhaps you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.

 

[rogsr]

Pray, and then let God work through you...maybe God wants to teach her a lesson one on One...or maybe he will put you two into a situation where it comes up and then comes out on its own. Don't forget that as of right now all of this is just speculation...

Love covers many sins and it is in itself hypocritical to call someone out on being a hypocrite because we are all hypocrites in some way...some of us in many ways...but that's a whole other sermon. Good looking out for your sisters in Christ Jesus though, and keep on letting the Lord lead you.