Someone Help Me!

[aiki]

1: this goes back to what I said before. I do think its ridiculous to believe the universe came from nothing and that first life came from some soup or what have you. But hears the thing. I know how stupid is to believe those things but yet I actually try to rationalize them. Like I will literally say to myself, okay maybe the soup made a cell, and it split, and then this and then that. Basically, I have the same disease atheists have. We can't see anything else but natural and material things. We don't allow supernatural things to even be possible. And at least with my case its not that I'm being stubborn at all I just can't help it. This is why I have told my mother that I think God has either cast me out or that I really do have a demon living inside me.

"Maybe the soup made a cell"? That's ground enough to think life came from non-life? Thinking this way isn't a disease. If it was a disease, then you could say you weren't responsible for it, which is why, I suspect, many atheists like to talk this way. They carry on as though they are at the mercy of a stubbornly skeptical mind that keeps them from belief, or they just don't have any faith, or there isn't convincing evidence, etc., etc. THey seem to want at all costs to avoid simply admitting the truth: they just don't want to believe there is a God. God hasn't cast you out and you aren't demon possessed. You just don't want to believe that God is and that someday you will have to answer to Him for how you've lived out the life He gave you.

my second thought is what Selah told me. He said until I fess up and accept that my atheistic mindset is not just in my mind but is actually who I am...

Actually, this isn't quite what I said. Or, at least, it wasn't what I intended to say. You were talking as though some part of your mind was working contrary to what you wanted, that it was beyond your control and making you adopt atheistic ideas. My response is that your mind is you; it reflects precisely what you want it to reflect. But this means that you are responsible for what you have chosen to believe and that you have the power to change what you believe. You aren't a helpless victim of some odd atheistic infection. You are choosing to adopt atheistic views and you can just as easily choose not to. It's all basically a matter of what you truly want.

This makes sense because just earlier, as well as other times, I will get into a panic and get anxious and get sick to my stomach, but its not until I relax and tell myself "okay Matthew you don't believe in a spirit or miracles and you see things in a natural way now, now that we know that we can seek truth".

You cannot seek the truth when your first step on the road to truth is to embrace a falsehood. Matthew, do you believe there are such things as virtue, and integrity, or motives, or love? Can you tell me how much love weighs? Can you smell integrity? Can you collect motives and boil them in a test tube? Is virtue soft or hard, flexible or brittle? All of these things exist and yet none of them (and many others besides) can be directly subjected to empirical testing. But if these intangible things exist, why can't a transcendent, intangible God exist? And if these things cannot be assessed and scrutinized by the empirical method but are nonetheless actually existent, why must we be able to prove empirically that God exists? Why can't God exist in the way integrity or love does?

But you see, take it as you will, I remember growing up and I would run into atheists and I would tell myself I could never be like him/her they are horrible/mean/rebellious people. In other words, I look at my current unbelief in the eyes of the Christian boy I once was. And I hate it. God have mercy on my soul

Well, many others have weathered the assault of doubt that you're experiencing and have come through stronger in their faith, not weaker. This time of doubting can be a blessing or curse to you. It all depends upon how you choose to respond to your doubt. God will certainly not be fooled by the argument that you had some uncontrollable urge to be atheistic. He knows better - and I suspect so do you.

Selah.

 

[Harry3142]

Matthew-

Accepting the salvation that God offers to all is a decision that leads to the proper feelings, rather than its being a feeling that leads to the proper decisions. Once you make the decision that you will accept the atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ as the means of salvation, the feelings will come. But the decision to accept God's gift of salvation must precede those feelings, rather than follow them:

Now we know that whatever the law says, it says to those who are under the law, so that every mouth may be silenced and the whole world held accountable to God. Therefore no one will be declared righteous in his sight by observing the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of sin.

But now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood. He did this to demonstrate his justice, because in his forbearance he had left the sins committed beforehand unpunished - he did it to demonstrate his justice at the present time, so as to be just and the one who justifies those who have faith in Jesus. (Romans 3:19-26,NIV)

 

[diamonddove]

Matthew, I have been there. I know exactly how you feel. I wanted to give up so many times, and I have. But knowing the Spirits power and having seen it being worked in and through me, I can say that I would not wish to trade it in for all the riches and worldly desires in this whole world. In those times of wanting to give up, you must understand that God wants a heart, that only longs after, and seeks His face, more than your own life. I had a never felt the Spirit really work in me, when I first came to Christ. But I began to cry out to God, and ask Him for His Spirit. Every night and morning I would do this, asking Him to live through me, and create a clean heart, and renew a right spirit within me. I would wake up in the middle of the night, and feel nothing, but still longing to have His Spirit controlling me, in everything that I said and did. I did this for almost a month straight. Even when I felt like giving up, my sisters in the Lord came to me, and said, do not give up, and God will give you what you ask for. He does not turn a deaf ear on those who ask for pure hearts, and seek His face. So finally, after all that time, one day I woke up, and jumped out of bed with a light shining through me, that everyone could see. When I saw an opportunity to preach to someone, I did, and God spoke through me in a way that left them speechless, and without excuse. What I can say to you is, do not give up, keep seeking God, and ask His to show Himself to you daily, ask Him to give you a pure heart, even if it takes your whole life! God richly blesses us with spiritual blessings, that surpass any other understanding of want we could have. I still go through those moments sometimes where I don't feel the Spirit, but I know that when I persevere, I hear from Him, and He shows Himself to me, what His One Truth is, that saves us from our sinful nature and its desires. Christ Jesus said: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself daily, take up his cross, and follow me." He also said: "Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find, knock, and the door will be opened to you". Read His word, and keep, continue, to ask Him these things, and He will show you. In Christ, Rachel

This is beautiful <3 I believe in god but I have a problem w/ faith and trust.... after reading your story..i realize I need patience and lots of it >___>

 

[MCA]

Ok, see this info is good! Start in the Gospel of John. Keep a book marker, so you go all the way through to the end from there. Mark anything that "jumps out at you," with maybe a highlighter pen or something. (I actually color code things with 4 colors, that are meaningful to me)

Keeping a separate log of questions might help you? but emphasize just reading it, rather than struggling for your own understanding right away.

The first obstacle to tear down is - IT'S OK TO QUESTION!

God is He who says "come, let us reason together." So you are SAFE

This is WAY more important than the video series, but (looking through my youtube stuff) here it is:

I was looking over some old replys of this thread I started a couple months back . I came across this one where you recommended me a youtube video entitled Genesis ancient cosmology. I did not watch it. I think I might have but didn't finish it. Just by looking at the title it sounds to me like Moses was writing what was their cosmos theory back then too. Or am I wrong? There are so many opinions of the Genesis account and admittedly I have been trying to reconcile it with a scientific perspective. I know that belief in God should be primary, but given my position it is the least I can do. Nice day to you

 

[intojoy]

Genesis was not authored by Moses. Unlike the exodus to which Moses is an eyewitness, he was not alive to write what transpires in Genesis. Moses is merely the editor of the family documents called Toldholts (spelling?).

 

[intojoy]

Ok 2 things are on my mind.

1: this goes back to what I said before. I do think its ridiculous to believe the universe came from nothing and that first life came from some soup or what have you. But hears the thing. I know how stupid is to believe those things but yet I actually try to rationalize them. Like I will literally say to myself, okay maybe the soup made a cell, and it split, and then this and then that. Basically, I have the same disease atheists have. We can't see anything else but natural and material things. We don't allow supernatural things to even be possible. And at least with my case its not that I'm being stubborn at all I just can't help it. This is why I have told my mother that I think God has either cast me out or that I really do have a demon living inside me.

2: my second thought is what Selah told me. He said until I fess up and accept that my atheistic mindset is not just in my mind but is actually who I am, then we can get some progress. This makes sense because just earlier, as well as other times, I will get into a panic and get anxious and get sick to my stomach, but its not until I relax and tell myself "okay Matthew you don't believe in a spirit or miracles and you see things in a natural way now, now that we know that we can seek truth". But you see, take it as you will, I remember growing up and I would run into atheists and I would tell myself I could never be like him/her they are horrible/mean/rebellious people. In other words, I look at my current unbelief in the eyes of the Christian boy I once was. And I hate it. God have mercy on my soul

Demons do control believers sometimes. However our sin nature tries to gain control of our will too. If the bible is God's word then you should be getting involved with in depth, intensive bible study groups. If its not God's word then treat it equal to any other book written by men. There are many reasons why the Bible is authenticated as the Word of God, Sunday school teachers and even Christian school teachers evidently didn't do enough to progress you from spiritual milk to the meat of God's Word.

http://www.christianforums.com/t7755840/

 

[MCA]

If Moses edited the Toldholt version when he wrote Genesis, who were they. And doesn't this mean it wasn't divine?

I read your interpretation rules. Makes sense and I will try to apply when I read again. I occasionally read from an ESV Study Bible. And yes my prior christian schooling and my church in general didn't do the best job at teaching any type of apologetics, or intense bible study (could be my fault too for not asking questions). The pastor that I used to speak with to help me out with my faith problem has now added a flare to his preaching. I notice he goes even deeper in the Bible translating it more thoroughly. He explains different ideas and reasons why the Christian teachings are solid. I'm very glad he does this. He loves and cares for his members and has 5 children of his own. If I've given anything through my loss of faith at least his church will now be taught in a way that will enable their faith to be unshakable. I cannot stress enough how much I wish I would have had a good foundation before going to college. I was CLUELESS that college was a place that a good deal of young people lose their faith. I will look at your emailed packet possibly sometime this weekend. I've got to find some comfort through time with my family this weekend.

 

[polkaman]

Hello. Well I am a new poster here, and also looking.
I have not read all the posts.
I would like to suggest looking at some of Gerald Mann's
Writing, such as "you can always begin again"
He also has some other books.

I think God still lives you even tho you have some
Question
To barrow from our catholic friends, some of the
Questions may be "a wonderful mystery". Some things
We may not be able to understand with our
Earthly mind.

I hope I haven't made things worse or muddy the
Water.
I wish you well on your journey and hope you
find your answer soon.
We'll be thinking of you.

 

[MCA]

Another day in pain. Why did this happen to me. For the last 5 months everyday I wake up kind of wishing it was my last. If the Bible prophecied that there would be an era of skepticism, why did God choose me. Why couldn't He had chosen someone else. I obeyed his commandments, I stayed away from alcohol, women, profanity, bad vices, and yet here I am suffering. I come from a good home and I love my family so much. As I drove into work I had to tell my mother I loved her to myself because I don't have enough peace in my heart to tell her in real life. This battle of unbelief has ruined my life. I dropped out of my classes, stopped exercising, and have lost my inner joy. I am trapped in a naturalistic worldview. Why can't I get past the simple truth that our universe could not have created itself. Why do I think the scientist knows the answer or has yet to discover it. What kind of mind did I develop in my college years.

 

[dhh712]

My name is Matthew and I came to this forum in desperate need of help. I will make this as short as I can so I can keep your attention and God willing, someone can save my poor soul.


I grew up in Christian schools all my life. I believed in God with no doubt in my mind. After highschool my Christian friends went away to Christian colleges and I decided to stay home and attend the local university—I didn’t want to leave home. Long story short somewhere or somehow during my years in college, I lost my faith. The kind of loss of faith where you lose 20lbs, toss and turn all night, question every verse in the Bible, and beg God daily for salvation. I searched, read, attended church, talked to my former pastor, and at the end of a hard seeking mode of 2 months or so, I gave up. A stillness came over me and I just didn’t know what I believed anymore.



Four years have passed and due to certain events I am now in the seeking mode once again. Unfortunately, this seeking is coming to a close just like once before—nothing is working. I’ve heard that there is no one apologetic teaching or scripture that can turn the unbeliever because the unbeliever is grounded on his beliefs. Basically the evidence for creation, the Bible, and God himself is viewed from the outside looking in. Not the inside looking out, if that makes any sense. Christians see the world through God eyes, while the non believer sees the world thru secular teachings on natural things and science so its very hard to “get in”. I’ve read several conversion stories where they say that it wasn’t until they found Gods love or started to humble their hearts that they were able to be found by God. For some that would be influenced by a believing spouse, a new born child, a near death experience, and so forth.


At this point in my life I am humbled enough to know that it is only going to be through Gods grace that I am able to walk with Him again. I hope there is something I can do in the mean time that will allow him to send the holy spirit to work in my pathetic excuse for a soul. If any of you have been in my shoes, or have a conversion story you’d like to share, or any type of advice for me, I would really like that.


Thank you


Matthew

It's good that you know that your belief can only be effected by God alone and not from anything you can do on your own. I hope He will not leave you for a long time in this period of doubt--the times like that, at least for me, are the worst ones of my life. I experience what I can best describe as such emptiness, hollowness; something of what I can only imagine Hell will be like (and hope so much that it will always be only an imagination). I feel all the spirit of the world upon me and all of what it can offer, which to me is nothing.

You mentioned something about that believers see through God's eyes, and I would like to humbly express my differing opinion about that. My understanding is that believers understand the world and God only in what God will allow them to understand of it. I feel very strongly that no one at all on this earth alive today can understand God completely, no matter how much they research His word and seek of Him. I feel we are all just a part of Him and only together do we make up that perfect body of Christ.

With my own conversion story, there was no real event I can point to as to why it occurred (as you mentioned, about a loving spouse, birth, death, etc.). I felt drawn to Him--some unexplainable compulsion to study the history of one particular faith and from that more compulsions to find out more about it. Once I found out about that, everything just "clicked" is the best way I can explain it. I really do feel I was called to this faith, there is just no other way I can make sense of it. I just don't think everyone is called to it though, and that is something only He can understand, something which no one can ever know the reasons for.

And like I mentioned earlier, it is just a part. I feel He called me to this because that is what He wants of me. Who knows what He wants of you? I hope that He will make it apparent to you and give you the ability to conform to it. I trust you will not fall away entirely from Him, though if you do it was His will. And His will must be the only one we look to and wish to have done.

Sincerely,
Anne

 

[lesliedellow]

I can't say my experience is exactly the same as yours, but, when I was first becoming a Christian, I went through five or more years of is it true?/isn't it true? Eventually I realised there was going to be no conclusive proof, either way, but I had to jump one way or the other. And, that being the case, I might just as well jump in the direction I felt most comfortable with. I cannot say that transformed me into a fully orthodox Christian, but it set me on the road towards that. Where I am today is the end point of a journey stretching back thirty years, and doubtless God hasn't finished with me yet.

You will need to be patient with yourself. It is easy for me to say let go of your rational mind, and give your intuition a chance, but of course, we are not in full control of our own minds.

 

[MCA]

Thanks Leslie.

Sunday mornings are the hardest for me which is why I'm writing here. If being a believer is a choice we have then I must practice the only 2 things I have control of which is prayer and obedience. I'm still in so much pain but lately I have been wearing a cross medallion around my neck. It just makes me feel like at the least God knows I have no peace without Him.

 

[intojoy]

Thanks Leslie.

Sunday mornings are the hardest for me which is why I'm writing here. If being a believer is a choice we have then I must practice the only 2 things I have control of which is prayer and obedience. I'm still in so much pain but lately I have been wearing a cross medallion around my neck. It just makes me feel like at the least God knows I have no peace without Him.

Man's responsibility in the Dispensation of Grace is obedience to the New Covenant. Obedience to the New Covenant means to accept the gifts of righteousness which God offers to all men through Yeshua the Messiah. The point of Romans 5:15-18 is that man is responsible to accept the gift of righteousness God offers to all men through the Messiah of Israel.

D. Man's Specific Test
The specific test of this dispensation is simply this: Will man accept the gift? Will humanity, as a whole, accept God's offer of the free gift of salvation by the simple act of faith in the person of Yeshua the Messiah? On the basis of faith, this free gift is given.

E. Man's Failure
As with all previous dispensations, the present one will also end in failure, and this can be seen in two ways. First, most men will reject the gift. The majority of humanity will not come to a saving knowledge of Yeshua the Messiah in our own day, any more than it was true before our time, and certainly will not be true even in the future.

 

[MCA]

You guys give some of the most encouraging advice and ideas. Its like it makes me feel good and maybe even a little hope, but I'm starting to think there's no way back. Id love to go out and get all my questions answered but there is no honest man living inside me. I've developed this lack of trust towards God and the Bible. As I progress in my seeking I'm starting to learn who and what I am. I'm convinced that this is very similar to a break up with a woman. You love her, care for her, etc but then she cheats on you and you are unable to trust her again. I've been in this position with a woman and I never was able to feel the same for her. This situation with God is like the same thing. I was somehow convinced that God doesn't exist, the bible is made up and evolution is true therefore losing my trust in the bible and God as I would a woman. This is why when I read the bible I can't help but spot areas that look made up etc. am skeptical. Its extremely frustrating and painful not being able to believe in something. I have considered other religious books, not to see if they are true, but to see how much they lack compared to the bible. I have never once read the quran or any books of enlightenment. Like others have said its like I need to lose my religion before approaching God and the bible with a clean slate. My only problem is that if I lose my religion I fear so much that I will never return. I still pray here and there but I feel like God won't listen to me cause I'm no longer part of his team. I've been looking into demonology and supernatural events but they just scare me and somehow they don't do much for me as far as getting me to believe. From what I read and seen there looks to be another realm around us that we can't see. This should be clear evidence of God, but yet I still stand skeptical.

 

[intojoy]

You guys give some of the most encouraging advice and ideas. Its like it makes me feel good and maybe even a little hope, but I'm starting to think there's no way back. Id love to go out and get all my questions answered but there is no honest man living inside me. I've developed this lack of trust towards God and the Bible. As I progress in my seeking I'm starting to learn who and what I am. I'm convinced that this is very similar to a break up with a woman. You love her, care for her, etc but then she cheats on you and you are unable to trust her again. I've been in this position with a woman and I never was able to feel the same for her. This situation with God is like the same thing. I was somehow convinced that God doesn't exist, the bible is made up and evolution is true therefore losing my trust in the bible and God as I would a woman. This is why when I read the bible I can't help but spot areas that look made up etc. am skeptical. Its extremely frustrating and painful not being able to believe in something. I have considered other religious books, not to see if they are true, but to see how much they lack compared to the bible. I have never once read the quran or any books of enlightenment. Like others have said its like I need to lose my religion before approaching God and the bible with a clean slate. My only problem is that if I lose my religion I fear so much that I will never return. I still pray here and there but I feel like God won't listen to me cause I'm no longer part of his team. I've been looking into demonology and supernatural events but they just scare me and somehow they don't do much for me as far as getting me to believe. From what I read and seen there looks to be another realm around us that we can't see. This should be clear evidence of God, but yet I still stand skeptical.

Nothing looks made up to me. I remember reading a bio on someone who took it upon himself to prove the fallibility of the Bible, this guy spoke over 50 languages. He wound up being a believer. Do you have the same intelligence of someone like him? I don't.

I saw this book that looked similar maybe I'll read it someday. Btw what was silly to you?

Take care.

 

[paul1149]

There is a "way" back, and that Way is Jesus, Himself. As long as your focus is on yourself, your shortcomings and the shortcomings of your faith, you will have little hope. But if you transfer your expectations and hope to Jesus, based on His ALREADY COMPLETED work on your behalf, you will have ground for hope. Is your sin or doubt more powerful than the precious blood of the only-begotten God? No, the Blood has greater power than any created thing. You only have to turn to Him with what little faith you already have.

That woman who cheated on you &#8211; if she truly repented and was horrified at her behavior, if you truly loved each other would you not take her back? The Father feels the same way about you. Do like the father of the demonized boy, and cry out, "I believe, help Thou my unbelief!" you notice he began with what he had, not what he didn&#8217;t have. That's all Jesus requires. Come to Him in good faith, with what little faith you have. He will do the rest.

 

[wintermile]

You guys give some of the most encouraging advice and ideas. Its like it makes me feel good and maybe even a little hope, but I'm starting to think there's no way back. Id love to go out and get all my questions answered but there is no honest man living inside me. I've developed this lack of trust towards God and the Bible. As I progress in my seeking I'm starting to learn who and what I am. I'm convinced that this is very similar to a break up with a woman. You love her, care for her, etc but then she cheats on you and you are unable to trust her again. I've been in this position with a woman and I never was able to feel the same for her. This situation with God is like the same thing. I was somehow convinced that God doesn't exist, the bible is made up and evolution is true therefore losing my trust in the bible and God as I would a woman. This is why when I read the bible I can't help but spot areas that look made up etc. am skeptical. Its extremely frustrating and painful not being able to believe in something. I have considered other religious books, not to see if they are true, but to see how much they lack compared to the bible. I have never once read the quran or any books of enlightenment. Like others have said its like I need to lose my religion before approaching God and the bible with a clean slate. My only problem is that if I lose my religion I fear so much that I will never return. I still pray here and there but I feel like God won't listen to me cause I'm no longer part of his team. I've been looking into demonology and supernatural events but they just scare me and somehow they don't do much for me as far as getting me to believe. From what I read and seen there looks to be another realm around us that we can't see. This should be clear evidence of God, but yet I still stand skeptical.

Are you in a match with Yeshua regarding whether or not you are on His team?

I often take comfort in the replies that are brought forth in this forum. To add to their resourcefulness in this thread, I offer what I keep my heart focused on when I am not 100 percent keeping up with my spiritual duties. My heart does not let me rest; I begin to push again to be focused on His Kingdom. What area of His Kingdom do you focus on?

I focus on VOM's Power and Intercessory Prayer modules. Offered in their free online classroom, I study how to do as I am called. "We are called a kingdom of priests (Rev. 5:9-10) and a holy priesthood (1Peter 2:5), which means that intercession, and more specifically intercessory prayer, is an integral part of our priestly duties (or privileges, if we really consider the gravity of the calling)."

"The Spirit of God needs the nature of the believer as a shrine in which to offer His intercession."-Oswald Chambers

https://www.vomclassroom.com/

Glenn M. Penner's book in the shadow of the Cross puts Yeshua's Kingdom in perspective.

 

[lesliedellow]

Thanks Leslie.

Sunday mornings are the hardest for me which is why I'm writing here. If being a believer is a choice we have then I must practice the only 2 things I have control of which is prayer and obedience. I'm still in so much pain but lately I have been wearing a cross medallion around my neck. It just makes me feel like at the least God knows I have no peace without Him.

I think you have fallen into the trap creationists fall into when they try to project back into the minds of ancient writers the concerns of twenty first century scientists. So Genesis 1 is a scientific account of creation, so far as they are concerned, then the go to college and confront the evidence for Evolution, and that discredits the "scientist" who was living several centuries BC.

They could have avoided that trap by imagining themselves back into the mindset of the ancient author. He wasn't trying to give a scientific account of creation - such a thing was not even within his mental universe - but he was intent upon saying that God is the creator and origin of all things, and in him all things subsist. In particular, Genesis 1 goes out of its way to attribute to Yahweh things which in surrounding cultures were considered the domain of pagan gods. Things such as the sun, moon and agriculture.

 

[dhh712]

I was somehow convinced that God doesn't exist, the bible is made up and evolution is true therefore losing my trust in the bible and God. This is why when I read the bible I can't help but spot areas that look made up etc. am skeptical. Its extremely frustrating and painful not being able to believe in something.

I still pray here and there but I feel like God won't listen to me cause I'm no longer part of his team. From what I read and seen there looks to be another realm around us that we can't see. This should be clear evidence of God, but yet I still stand skeptical.

Referring to your skepticism, why do you have to know? What peace can it bring to your mind? I don't believe that studying God's word will cause anyone to have complete knowledge of Him and His works; it will only be a part, that which He wants that person to understand. Has knowledge of the world ever brought peace of mind to anyone?

I think it such a difficult time now to be a Christian when there is so much knowledge of scientific things and evidence which skeptics and atheists try to shove down believers' and seekers' throats as proof that God doesn't exist. It isn't proof that He doesn't exist. It's proof of His marvelous creation. Proof that we will never understand everything in the world He made completely and perfectly; it will always be flawed, the things we invent, and no one person will ever understand it all. To me, that is all the evidence I need of God.

I will admit I never studied evolution; I've learned about it in school and had accepted it at the time, as an unbeliever, as truth. I'm sure there are lots of facts to back it up. But I've been an atheist for years and nothing fulfills me the way Christ's love does, and I trust in Him more than I hope to ever trust in any invention of man, no matter the scientific proofs it has.

I see you recognize how painful it is to believe in nothing, in the world. Then I ask you, what is it about God's word exactly that is causing you to mistrust it? Don't fear that God isn't listening to you. As long as you pray to Him through Christ, He is always listening. Beg Him to restore to you your faith in Him if it is His will to do so. Perhaps He has willed this time of trial for you, that you will grow in it. If He has called you though, you will never fall away from Him completely.

I've been skeptical of God's word as well. I fear that when I go back to my family who are mostly agnostic and atheist that His presence will depart from me for a time to see how I can do on my own; to see if I will be seduced again by the charms of the world, of how much it all makes so much sense--to throw God out of the picture.

I wonder if it is His will to see how my faith stands up against the onslaughts of people of the world. They say a lot of things which makes much sense to my rational mind; it is only when I began studying the doctrines of the faith I have adopted and thereafter Scripture with these beliefs as a foundation of understanding them, that His word made just as much sense.

But it is so tough to say, "I can't comprehend His work; He made it in such a way that it is incomprehensible to understand His plan," when randomness and having something come from nothing seem to coincide with the coldness and harshness of a world if the morals which He wrote upon the hearts of man were to be taken out of it and people were left to their natural state of self-absorption and consumption; some people are naturally more kind than others, but for the most part, especially in a place which is dim of God's presence, it is a harsh, cut-throat world.

I am terrified for my times of trial. I am so scared I'll fail miserably, and I will on my own if I utilize my own strength to fight against the spirit of the world. I must rely on Him as my strength; only He can sustain my faith. Gosh, it just hurts to know how strongly seducing the logic of the world and scientific knowledge which refutes God's existence is.

 

[MCA]

Nothing looks made up to me. I remember reading a bio on someone who took it upon himself to prove the fallibility of the Bible, this guy spoke over 50 languages. He wound up being a believer. Do you have the same intelligence of someone like him? I don't.

I saw this book that looked similar maybe I'll read it someday. Btw what was silly to you?

Take care.

I get bogged down when I read stuff like "ascended into the clouds of heaven" and "manna from the heavens" and just other things like that. In my mind I see an author who thinks the clouds and everything he sees high above the earth is heaven. He thinks that's where God lives and it makes the rest of what he has to say less convincing.

And I admit it is encouraging to find brilliant people finding God. I will be the first person to tell you that I'm average minded. I'm not even a sophisticate yet I doubt like one unfortunately.

This may be some additional info but maybe you can help me out. I would have to say one of the most cynical positions I take on faith is that I think/know most people follow Christian teachings sheepishly and were just born in it. Not taking anything from them. But I can almost guarantee 9 out of 10 fall into that category. The other 10 percent are on forums like this and actually doing the will of God because He is much more real to them. I know this is debatable, but I can't help but see so many Christians around me who were just born into it. In other words what I'm trying to say is that, there hasn't been as many people as we think that have gone over the facts before choosing. And that discourages me so much. So in real life it's like a 50/50. There's 10 percent of the world atheist/agnostic and a "real" 10 percent Christian. Another idea that is that I am almost certain of is that if Jesus Christ would you have come in this time of day no one would believe in him. He'd be on CNN. He'd be on world news and everybody would be laughing and mocking him. When he did come he came in a time where almost everybody believed in God and no one knew anything of science, technology, etc. What I'm trying to say if it weren't for that nurtured way of Christ in the present day, there'd be a lot more atheists.

There is a "way" back, and that Way is Jesus, Himself. As long as your focus is on yourself, your shortcomings and the shortcomings of your faith, you will have little hope. But if you transfer your expectations and hope to Jesus, based on His ALREADY COMPLETED work on your behalf, you will have ground for hope. Is your sin or doubt more powerful than the precious blood of the only-begotten God? No, the Blood has greater power than any created thing. You only have to turn to Him with what little faith you already have.

That woman who cheated on you – if she truly repented and was horrified at her behavior, if you truly loved each other would you not take her back? The Father feels the same way about you. Do like the father of the demonized boy, and cry out, "I believe, help Thou my unbelief!" you notice he began with what he had, not what he didn’t have. That's all Jesus requires. Come to Him in good faith, with what little faith you have. He will do the rest.

Mark 9:24, I actually had that written down big on my marker board in my office for quite some time. I feel like the man didn't really believe Jesus was God but he loved his little boy so much his heart believed but his mind didn't. When I carry my nephew I think of God and I would say that's the closest I ever feel to God so I understand this man. A priest told me a few weeks ago what I thought was the greatest virtue. I said faith, he said no, love.

Referring to your skepticism, why do you have to know? What peace can it bring to your mind? I don't believe that studying God's word will cause anyone to have complete knowledge of Him and His works; it will only be a part, that which He wants that person to understand. Has knowledge of the world ever brought peace of mind to anyone?

I think it such a difficult time now to be a Christian when there is so much knowledge of scientific things and evidence which skeptics and atheists try to shove down believers' and seekers' throats as proof that God doesn't exist. It isn't proof that He doesn't exist. It's proof of His marvelous creation. Proof that we will never understand everything in the world He made completely and perfectly; it will always be flawed, the things we invent, and no one person will ever understand it all. To me, that is all the evidence I need of God.

I will admit I never studied evolution; I've learned about it in school and had accepted it at the time, as an unbeliever, as truth. I'm sure there are lots of facts to back it up. But I've been an atheist for years and nothing fulfills me the way Christ's love does, and I trust in Him more than I hope to ever trust in any invention of man, no matter the scientific proofs it has.

I see you recognize how painful it is to believe in nothing, in the world. Then I ask you, what is it about God's word exactly that is causing you to mistrust it? Don't fear that God isn't listening to you. As long as you pray to Him through Christ, He is always listening. Beg Him to restore to you your faith in Him if it is His will to do so. Perhaps He has willed this time of trial for you, that you will grow in it. If He has called you though, you will never fall away from Him completely.

I've been skeptical of God's word as well. I fear that when I go back to my family who are mostly agnostic and atheist that His presence will depart from me for a time to see how I can do on my own; to see if I will be seduced again by the charms of the world, of how much it all makes so much sense--to throw God out of the picture.

I wonder if it is His will to see how my faith stands up against the onslaughts of people of the world. They say a lot of things which makes much sense to my rational mind; it is only when I began studying the doctrines of the faith I have adopted and thereafter Scripture with these beliefs as a foundation of understanding them, that His word made just as much sense.

But it is so tough to say, "I can't comprehend His work; He made it in such a way that it is incomprehensible to understand His plan," when randomness and having something come from nothing seem to coincide with the coldness and harshness of a world if the morals which He wrote upon the hearts of man were to be taken out of it and people were left to their natural state of self-absorption and consumption; some people are naturally more kind than others, but for the most part, especially in a place which is dim of God's presence, it is a harsh, cut-throat world.

I am terrified for my times of trial. I am so scared I'll fail miserably, and I will on my own if I utilize my own strength to fight against the spirit of the world. I must rely on Him as my strength; only He can sustain my faith. Gosh, it just hurts to know how strongly seducing the logic of the world and scientific knowledge which refutes God's existence is.

Thank you and I understand you completely. If I wasn't typing on this darn iPad of mine I would write you back gobs of things. I would say don't fret so much. You have a better belief system than your family and it is rational to believe. Evolution nor the Big Bang disprove God, in fact many people say it proves that he is real. My problem lies in the fact that I've been raised so conservatively that when evolution was introduced to me it rocked my world.