Some quips:

[Amittai]

- what do you call the New Evangelisation Regulator? Offmessage.
- what do you call the Transcendental Meditation Regulator? Om-budsman.

 

[Amittai]

The reason there are so many problems in churches, is that leaders don't pay sufficient attention to church order. If you would put infralapsarians on the left of the aisle and supralapsarians to the right, then there will be harmony in your parish! You heard it here first!

I'm going to join the flying spaghetti worshippers. They've got lots of saints in their Collander.

The frogs, who of course believe in total immersion, have announced their "Save The Crocodile Crusade". (Let's hear it for the darlings - "Aaaaah !!!")

 

[Amittai]

Q - What do you call a man with leaves in his hair?
A - Bertrand.

STILL AVAILABLE at the best ever price - "Repatriate Jordan Peterson" T-shirts

 

[Amittai]

The rumble in the jungle this 1st April morning - the monkeys have launched their "Save The Humans" campaign!

Good name for a fusion restaurant (before Covid) - Soy Capitan

Good name for an artisan tea shop (before Covid) - The Infusiast

 

[Amittai]

What language did Jason and his pals speak, when they were after the Golden Fleece? Argot.

It's been revealed - Johnny Major wanted to rename Heathrow Airport - as Loughborough Junction Airport.

My local arthouse cinema has had to stop showing Farmageddon. A spokesman said, "It was becoming dog eat dog."