Smacking Children

[Electric Skeptic]

One thing that amuses me is people trying to say there is a difference between 'slapping' and 'spanking'. There isn't. They are both physically abusive of children. That's all there is to it. I applaud the social worker who took steps when she saw a child being publicly physically abused.

 

[ebia]

It's obvious to every teacher, but perhaps it isn't obvious to everybody else, that managing children effectively is not something that comes naturally but something that has to be studied, learned and planned.

"I can't manage my kids without using violence" really should be read as "I haven't been taught how to manage my kids effectively". Of course that doesn't mean every parent that avoids violence has learned how to manage their kids, but that doesn't make violence either acceptable or effective.

 

[ottaia]

It's obvious to every teacher, but perhaps it isn't obvious to everybody else, that managing children effectively is not something that comes naturally but something that has to be studied, learned and planned.

"I can't manage my kids without using violence" really should be read as "I haven't been taught how to manage my kids effectively". Of course that doesn't mean every parent that avoids violence has learned how to manage their kids, but that doesn't make violence either acceptable or effective.

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to ebia again.
​

 

[Cerberus~]

One thing that amuses me is people trying to say there is a difference between 'slapping' and 'spanking'. There isn't. They are both physically abusive of children. That's all there is to it. I applaud the social worker who took steps when she saw a child being publicly physically abused.

You've got to be kidding me.

This mentality gets you all those bratty little kids on shows like "the nanny".

Spanking is abuse? Man, you've never been abused.

 

[ebia]

You've got to be kidding me.

This mentality gets you all those bratty little kids on shows like "the nanny".

Hmm, allowing violence against children vs allowing mediocre T.V. Hard choice.

 

[Cerberus~]

Hmm, allowing violence against children vs allowing mediocre T.V. Hard choice.

If you think you can though a kid's childhood without them ever acting up to the point that you have to spank them, then that's just lousy parenting.

Now if you don't need to spank, great. But if you refuse to spank, then you are bad parent, and I feel sorry for your child. Because one day, due to your lack of parenting, someone is going to have to give them the beating you never did.

Bratty kids grow up to bratty adults, unless you do something about it.

 

[ebia]

If you think you can though a kid's childhood without them ever acting up to the point that you have to spank them, then that's just lousy parenting.

Why? There are more effective ways of disciplining than hitting people.

Now if you don't need to spank, great. But if you refuse to spank, then you are bad parent, and I feel sorry for your child. Because one day, due to your lack of parenting, someone is going to have to give them the beating you never did.

Let me see if I've got this right... "everyone needs to be beaten up at least once in their life, so good parents get it over and done with early"

Bratty kids grow up to bratty adults, unless you do something about it.

Violence is not the only (or even an effective) way of doing something about it.

Oh, and just for the record bratty kids don't necessarily grow up to be bratty adults. Some do, some don't.

 

[quatona]

If you think you can though a kid's childhood without them ever acting up to the point that you have to spank them, then that's just lousy parenting.

What actually do you mean when saying "have to spank" them? What, in your view, would constitute this inevitability or necessity?

Now if you don't need to spank, great. But if you refuse to spank, then you are bad parent, and I feel sorry for your child. Because one day, due to your lack of parenting, someone is going to have to give them the beating you never did.

Let alone that I fail to see any logic in this, there is the "have to" again. Please explain under which circumstances someone has no other option than using violence?

 

[quatona]

Bratty kids grow up to bratty adults, unless you do something about it.

I´m not necessarily in agreement with your broad generalization in the first part of the sentence, but concerning the second:
It seems by and large undisputed that its the job of parents (and teachers and adults in general) to "do something" to help their kids find their excellence - the subject of the discussion is merely what this would be.

 

[wanderingone]

If you think you can though a kid's childhood without them ever acting up to the point that you have to spank them, then that's just lousy parenting.

You're just wrong. My kids are 12-19 and 21.. guess what? No spanking needed.

Now if you don't need to spank, great. But if you refuse to spank, then you are bad parent, and I feel sorry for your child. Because one day, due to your lack of parenting, someone is going to have to give them the beating you never did.

I refused to spank.. my young adult children are just fine.

[

Bratty kids grow up to bratty adults, unless you do something about it.

It doesn't need to be spanking, and if you're parenting as opposed to just watching your kids grow up and hitting them every now and then when they mouth off or slip up you won't have bratty kids.

 

[wanderingone]

You've got to be kidding me.

This mentality gets you all those bratty little kids on shows like "the nanny".

Spanking is abuse? Man, you've never been abused.

On most of those shows the parents HAVE been spanking.. the pros come in and show them how NOT to spank and still discipline.

 

[ottaia]

If you think you can though a kid's childhood without them ever acting up to the point that you have to spank them, then that's just lousy parenting.

Now if you don't need to spank, great. But if you refuse to spank, then you are bad parent, and I feel sorry for your child. Because one day, due to your lack of parenting, someone is going to have to give them the beating you never did.

Bratty kids grow up to bratty adults, unless you do something about it.

You are right bro! Let's just smack them little brats into next week!! We may need to kick them if they don't get in line. And a smack across the mouth will keep those sass words right there in their mouths! WE NEED MORE PEOPLE SPEAKING THE WORDS OF REASON!!
Although I would not keep guns in the house and would sleep with the bedroom door locked.

 

[Yusuf Evans]

For me, I use psychological discipline. I rarely use phsyical discipline, i.e. spanking. I never smack my kids. If my son cusses, I put hot sauce in his mouth. If he bad mouths me, I threaten him with the hot sauce and he shuts up. If he and/or my daughter don't listen to me or my wife, I make them stand facing the corner for a good 10 minutes, then I sit and tell them why I made them stand there. If you think I'm cruel for doing such things, deal with it. I'm not abusing them in any way, and I'm not going to curtail to my children and baby them.

 

[christalee4]

For me, I use psychological discipline. I rarely use phsyical discipline, i.e. spanking. I never smack my kids. If my son cusses, I put hot sauce in his mouth. If he bad mouths me, I threaten him with the hot sauce and he shuts up. If he and/or my daughter don't listen to me or my wife, I make them stand facing the corner for a good 10 minutes, then I sit and tell them why I made them stand there. If you think I'm cruel for doing such things, deal with it. I'm not abusing them in any way, and I'm not going to curtail to my children and baby them.

There is a bit of a debate about "hot saucing":

http://www.nospank.net/n-m92r.htm

http://www.religioustolerance.org/spankin9.htm

You mentioned "cussing" and "badmouthing": do you mean that your son used a curse word, or that he disrespected you?

How is hot saucing different from 1) restraining a child with ropes, 2) applying a hot spoon to the hand, 3) pinching them (not hard enough to break the skin, but hard enough to hurt). They said hot saucing has its roots in the south. Slapping children on the face seem to be a common thing to do in Europe in about 50 years ago, or more. In the very, very old good old days, they used to hang children for theft.

The other standing in the corner is a time out, and sounds effective in that you get the child's attention and make them understand what they did wrong.

I saw an article that mentioned Lisa Whelchel, who was a child star in the TV show Facts Of Life, and is now a stay at home mom, who advocates hot saucing as an effective discipline. And she spanks. She had mentioned that she had spanked her daughter for not obeying her grandmother, when the child didn't put a popsicle back into the fridge, after being allowed to eat half of it. The grandmother didn't want her to eat the whole thing, because then she might ruin her appetite for dinner. Is that offense worthy of spanking? I disagree.

I liked an earlier poster's encouragement to insure that punishments, if meted, are appropriate and age-appropriate. If kids do something thoughtless, or forget something, get distracted, constant punishment, IMO, will either numb the child to the lesson, or break a child's spirit.

By the way, if those are your kids on your sig page, they are absolutely adorable.

 

[wanderingone]

For me, I use psychological discipline. I rarely use phsyical discipline, i.e. spanking. I never smack my kids. If my son cusses, I put hot sauce in his mouth. If he bad mouths me, I threaten him with the hot sauce and he shuts up. If he and/or my daughter don't listen to me or my wife, I make them stand facing the corner for a good 10 minutes, then I sit and tell them why I made them stand there. If you think I'm cruel for doing such things, deal with it. I'm not abusing them in any way, and I'm not going to curtail to my children and baby them.

A lot of the kids in the residential program I worked in were "disciplined" by being forced to consume things like hot sauce.. it rarely was the only abusive thing their parents did to them.

 

[wanderingone]

I saw an article that mentioned Lisa Whelchel, who was a child star in the TV show Facts Of Life, and is now a stay at home mom, who advocates hot saucing as an effective discipline. And she spanks. She had mentioned that she had spanked her daughter for not obeying her grandmother,

I haven't figured out yet why Lisa Whelchel is so often given a podium for parenting techniques in Christian circles.. did she do something other than play an actress on TV to become qualified to give advice on parenting to mass audiences?

 

[Yusuf Evans]

There is a bit of a debate about "hot saucing":

http://www.nospank.net/n-m92r.htm

http://www.religioustolerance.org/spankin9.htm

You mentioned "cussing" and "badmouthing": do you mean that your son used a curse word, or that he disrespected you?

How is hot saucing different from 1) restraining a child with ropes, 2) applying a hot spoon to the hand, 3) pinching them (not hard enough to break the skin, but hard enough to hurt). They said hot saucing has its roots in the south. Slapping children on the face seem to be a common thing to do in Europe in about 50 years ago, or more. In the very, very old good old days, they used to hang children for theft.

The other standing in the corner is a time out, and sounds effective in that you get the child's attention and make them understand what they did wrong.

I saw an article that mentioned Lisa Whelchel, who was a child star in the TV show Facts Of Life, and is now a stay at home mom, who advocates hot saucing as an effective discipline. And she spanks. She had mentioned that she had spanked her daughter for not obeying her grandmother, when the child didn't put a popsicle back into the fridge, after being allowed to eat half of it. The grandmother didn't want her to eat the whole thing, because then she might ruin her appetite for dinner. Is that offense worthy of spanking? I disagree.

I liked an earlier poster's encouragement to insure that punishments, if meted, are appropriate and age-appropriate. If kids do something thoughtless, or forget something, get distracted, constant punishment, IMO, will either numb the child to the lesson, or break a child's spirit.

By the way, if those are your kids on your sig page, they are absolutely adorable.

I've only used hot sauce on my son twice in his five years of existence, and both times the amount of hot sauce was the amount on my fingertip. I put it on his tounge. Since then, I just threaten him with it, not actually do it. He's afraid of the hot sauce technique.

As for the kids, yep, they're mine. I wouldn't put someone else's kids up, that's just creepy. Thanks though.

 

[Yusuf Evans]

I haven't figured out yet why Lisa Whelchel is so often given a podium for parenting techniques in Christian circles.. did she do something other than play an actress on TV to become qualified to give advice on parenting to mass audiences?

I guess it would be the same as Jane Fonda giving pertinent information on the "truth" of POW camps in Vietnam. Hollywood is the last place I look to for sound ethical and responsible decisions governing everyday life. Morals in that world are questionable at best.

 

[Cerberus~]

Why? There are more effective ways of disciplining than hitting people.

Ok, but a slap on the ass is just as effective and quick as any other method. And when a child won't listen, it makes them listen.

Let me see if I've got this right... "everyone needs to be beaten up at least once in their life, so good parents get it over and done with early"

No, it's like snowball effect. When a child is young, is never get spanked, they don't always have a healthy understanding that the consequences of certain actions are indeed painful. A spanking is all that is needed to teach a child this lesson. When that kid's 20, it takes more than a spanking.

Violence is not the only (or even an effective) way of doing something about it.

Rape is violence, ok. Spanking may by technical definition, qualify as violence, but to equate it with real violence, is an insult to those who have experience real violence, and to those parents who have had to spank.

just for the record bratty kids don't necessarily grow up to be bratty adults. Some do, some don't.

Well at some point they stop being brats. And the older they get, the bigger that "something" has to be.

ne that I fail to see any logic in this, there is the "have to" again. Please explain under which circumstances someone has no other option than using violence?

When the child will not listen to you is about the only time I'ld use "violence", as it is being so aptly mislabeled.

s by and large undisputed that its the job of parents (and teachers and adults in general) to "do something" to help their kids find their excellence - the subject of the discussion is merely what this would be.

If you spank them while they are young, they will understand the power of words and reason because they same some understanding of what inevitably happens when words and reason break down.

It's like one of those, life lessons, man.

just wrong. My kids are 12-19 and 21.. guess what? No spanking needed.

There was never a time when they just wouldn't listen and you or your husband, or the grandparents, or anyone had to slap their ass to get their attention?

My mom didn't spank me for the first 6 years of my life. In first grade, I was Brat Numero Uno. Fortunately my parents divorced and my step father (a Marine) wasn't into the "Ophra" parenting style and kicked my ass. I've seen violence, and the occasional swat on the ass isn't it.

It doesn't need to be spanking, and if you're parenting as opposed to just watching your kids grow up and hitting them every now and then when they mouth off or slip up you won't have bratty kids.

I smoke pot, and I curse like a sailor. What the hell makes you think I'm advocating slapping your kids if they curse?

You have to understand that there is a pretty big middle ground between beating the s*** out of your kids, and refusing to ever hit them at all.

On most of those shows the parents HAVE been spanking.. the pros come in and show them how NOT to spank and still discipline.

And I could have little brat minding in 20 minutes.

"let's to go to bed honey"
"Screw you, mommy!"
"hun, let's to bed now, or I'm gonna make you go to bed"
"Shove it up your ass, mommy!"

Spank em, carry them to bed, and let them cry it out. If they come back of their room, spank them, and take them back to bed. Eventually, they'll stop coming out when their ass starts hurting enough.

It's simple.

You are right bro! Let's just smack them little brats into next week!! We may need to kick them if they don't get in line. And a smack across the mouth will keep those sass words right there in their mouths! WE NEED MORE PEOPLE SPEAKING THE WORDS OF REASON!!

Sarcasm noted, but I really think you people need to grow up and realize that spanking does not equal beating your children. That's an ignorant assuption, and one I was hoping ya'll were above.

 

[Gomez]

"let's to go to bed honey"
"Screw you, mommy!"
"hun, let's to bed now, or I'm gonna make you go to bed"
"Shove it up your ass, mommy!"

Spank em, carry them to bed, and let them cry it out. If they come back of their room, spank them, and take them back to bed. Eventually, they'll stop coming out when their ass starts hurting enough.

It's simple.

I agree with Cerberus. Some kids don't need to be spanked, but there are kids that try to walk all over their parents because they know they can get away with it. Those are the kids that can use a spanking(by spanking I don't mean kick the crap out of them).