Slim pickin's

[NicelyAged]

"HC - You are correct, however, there still are ppl out there that do put in the EFFORT and TIME.
This still gives me and others hope."

** May the Lord be praised!! There are actually Christian singles who believe that finding love and making it work involves putting in effort and time.

Sheez, I thought all the Christian single guys were waiting for that needle in a haystack woman who will come up to them and do all the leading and Christian single women were waiting for "God to drop Mr. perfect in my lap".

 

[hypnotism]

Are you sure your name isn't Tony, as in my ex-bf?

No Tony. Did he feel the same way?

 

[hypnotism]

Really? Did you always use two methods of BC at the same time? For example, iud+foam, sponge+condom, Pill+diaphram, Norplant + bc film.
quote=flnativegrl;36426381] BC is not fool-proof, by the way - I have a beautiful 5 yr old that is living proof of that.[/quote]

 

[ido]

It also means that you have to be ok with "any body is not better than nobody."

I have always been a firm believer of being single and being content rather than just dating someone for the sake of having a warm body nearby. I think that was one of the things that caught me so much by surprise when I became single again. I thought that people would have outgrown that kind of "warm body" mentality as they entered their late 20's/early 30's...but I'm figuring out now that people are either that way or they are not and it's not really something you "outgrow". At least that's the way I'm figuring it.

 

[ido]

Really? Did you always use two methods of BC at the same time? For example, iud+foam, sponge+condom, Pill+diaphram, Norplant + bc film.
quote=flnativegrl;36426381] BC is not fool-proof, by the way - I have a beautiful 5 yr old that is living proof of that.

hypno - in case you haven't realized this yet, the whole point as to why I started this thread was because I wanted to discuss having a relationship that was not focused primarily on the physical nature of relationships. I don't think discussing the various combos of BC that one can use really helps to keep the focus of a relationship away from the physical aspect.

What are some other areas of a relationship that are important to you?

For me, I want someone who can stimulate my intellect not just my body. I want someone who can make me laugh. I find a man who is a good father to be much sexier than a guy with a bunch of muscles. I want to know that a man who is interested in me is mesmerized by who I am on the inside - not focused on getting to see what's under my clothes on the outside.

Don't get me wrong, I think the physical aspect of a relationship is important, too. However, I think that relationships don't have a chance to fully develop if the physical aspect is rushed and becomes a focal point early on.

 

[hypnotism]

Agreed.

You did not answer my question.

 

[dluvs2trvl]

You did not answer my question.

Uhhh...hellooooo - yes she did! And quite frankly - it's none of your business!

hypno - in case you haven't realized this yet, the whole point as to why I started this thread was because I wanted to discuss having a relationship that was not focused primarily on the physical nature of relationships. I don't think discussing the various combos of BC that one can use really helps to keep the focus of a relationship away from the physical aspect.

What are some other areas of a relationship that are important to you?

For me, I want someone who can stimulate my intellect not just my body. I want someone who can make me laugh. I find a man who is a good father to be much sexier than a guy with a bunch of muscles. I want to know that a man who is interested in me is mesmerized by who I am on the inside - not focused on getting to see what's under my clothes on the outside.

Don't get me wrong, I think the physical aspect of a relationship is important, too. However, I think that relationships don't have a chance to fully develop if the physical aspect is rushed and becomes a focal point early on.

 

[ido]

LOL - you crack me up, D!

 

[dluvs2trvl]

What can I say...I just can't resist sometimes!

 

[AirForceTeacher]

I have always been a firm believer of being single and being content rather than just dating someone for the sake of having a warm body nearby. I think that was one of the things that caught me so much by surprise when I became single again. I thought that people would have outgrown that kind of "warm body" mentality as they entered their late 20's/early 30's...but I'm figuring out now that people are either that way or they are not and it's not really something you "outgrow". At least that's the way I'm figuring it.

I think it can be outgrown - but not unless you recognize it and try - at least I hope so for my sake!!

 

[ido]

Good point. A person would have to recognize it to be able to change it. I guess I'm just good at picking the guys that remain in denial. :o

 

[dluvs2trvl]

Good point. A person would have to recognize it to be able to change it. I guess I'm just good at picking the guys that remain in denial. :o

Ahh...you just need to fix your picker...it might be broken

 

[ido]

Girl - my picker is definitely broken! I'm working on making sure I let God doing the picking for me the next (and hopefully LAST) time!

 

[dluvs2trvl]

Girl - my picker is definitely broken! I'm working on making sure I let God doing the picking for me the next (and hopefully LAST) time!

Excellent idea!!!

 

[ido]

Thanks! It's not easy being a work in progress.

 

[dluvs2trvl]

Thanks! It's not easy being a work in progress.

True...but aren't we all!!! I don't think the learning and changing and growing ever ends...there always something we can do better...it's all part of being human!

 

[dluvs2trvl]

Thanks! It's not easy being a work in progress.

True...but aren't we all a work in progress? Learning and changing and growing is a constant part of life...it's what makes us human!

 

[ido]

I definitely don't ever want to stop growing where my faith is concerned! How can I ever be a better me if I don't keep working at it. That's another thing that can be so frustrating - meeting people who are content with who they are and not willing to improve upon what they've already got going on.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

I haven't dated since my husband passed away 2 1/2 years ago. I am worried, well maybe worried isn't the right word, concerned would be better that it is going to be difficult to find someone because of how I now believe. In my past I have lived with my boyfriend and it didn't work out. Then I met my husband and we lived together only a month before we decided to get married because we didn't want to live in sin. IF I were to get into a relationship now, I would NOT want to live with someone or sleep with them without being married because of how I believe now. I would want my marriage to be blessed by God. Unfortunately alot of guys (or people) even though they claim to be Christians don't think twice about sleeping with someone they are not married to. I wouldn't want to have a relationship with those kinds of men. It's not that I am a prude, I just know what the Bible says now, and I want to live for God first. I feel if he wants me to be married again, HE will bring someone into my life that thinks the same as me. My Pastor once said in a message that if someone wants to sleep with you, before you are married, that person really doesn't love you. I believe that to be true.

memoriesbymichelle

 

[ido]

Michelle - Thank you for sharing and for being so candid. I think it's an important point to bring up that someone who truly loves you won't push you to cross the boundaries that you have set for yourself.