Single Guy with raging desire…..

[eleos1954]

Hi everyone,


Many here may remember a similar post to this,but if not I’d like to ask the community a question.I’m 19 and a male,and right now I’m my life I’m very sad being single,my sister who is younger and not a very fruitful producing “Christian” has a boyfriend.

I’m 19,never had a girlfriend,the only thing close to that was what I now consider a close friend while I was in middle school,and it wasn’t even a very atypical relationship.Now 19,I desire to marry,although I am not prepared for it I must confess,I keep praying to God to please trust me with one of his daughters,yet I still live day in and out with raging sexual/romantic desire.And it’s very hard for a single guy like me,which men are visually stimulated,to bounce my eyes,discipline the chin up policy when speaking with a girl,and being unable to release in any pure and appropriate manner.

can someone offer advice?

Seek friendship ... focus on that. Alter your focus.

 

[DragonFox91]

Eh, you're still young. I know plenty of people like you who ended up getting dates. Get some goals & dream & ambitions, & work on meeting & talking to women, & it'll just hit you.

When you've done all that & hit 30 & never dated like me, let me know.

 

[Norbert L]

It depends on the place or country.

If money or financial security is difficult to have (or conversely, easy to lose) in a certain nation, it breeds a behavior where citizens do anything to find financial security.

It's bad, evil setup and you could as well blame your leaders and politicians for it.

In countries where money is easy to have or you don't end up homeless for losing all your money, love is easier to find. You'll find this in the Nordic countries or even in Canada or New Zealand, w/e. Ironically, these are the values of our Lord Christ - to make things easy, NOT hard.

The love of money is the root of evil indeed because it makes everything a lot harder for all of us. It makes getting help difficult, getting proper healthcare, education, and even romance. It's very anti-Christ.

How is all that helpful to Blaise N? He's not asking to solve world poverty.

 

[Ceallaigh]

Eh, you're still young. I know plenty of people like you who ended up getting dates. Get some goals & dream & ambitions, & work on meeting & talking to women, & it'll just hit you.

When you've done all that & hit 30 & never dated like me, let me know.

I'm 30 years ahead of you on that. I've come to realize it's just not for me and never was. And also that I would have saved myself a lot of unnecessary angst if I had just accepted things for what they are earlier on. I overall I have been quite comfortable and happy with my life. Such experiences are only a temporary earthly thing anyways.

 

[timewerx]

How is all that helpful to Blaise N? He's not asking to solve world poverty.

Just my way of saying it's not OP's fault, nothing wrong with him.

In problems like this, people tend to blame themselves, it's unhealthy when the truth is probably not their fault.

You don't have to bend to the principles of our (corrupt) society to get you want. Just be yourself no matter how awful you are to the corrupt lens of society. If evil sees you as abhorrent, you must be doing something right!

 

[Norbert L]

Just my way of saying it's not OP's fault, nothing wrong with him.

Nothing in the comment you gave me centers around saying that. It's a glass half empty and blame the world analysis. This is useless to any man or woman who have a raging desire.

It's bad, evil setup and you could as well blame your leaders and politicians for it.

Blaming the world for your problems is not a recipe for success. If anything it will work against a person and produce failure.

Besides no matter what the politics or place, there are some men who begin poor that become successful and accumulate wealth even in despotic countries. Find out how they did it in every way possible and incorporate the values that agree with the LORD.

"Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people." Colossians 3:23 NLT

 

[DragonFox91]

I'm 30 years ahead of you on that. I've come to realize it's just not for me and never was. And also that I would have saved myself a lot of unnecessary angst if I had just accepted things for what they are earlier on. I overall I have been quite comfortable and happy with my life. Such experiences are only a temporary earthly thing anyways.

I hope that doesn't happen for me. But I am curious when your interest went away.

 

[Ceallaigh]

I hope that doesn't happen for me. But I am curious when your interest went away.

I don't think the interest was ever truly there. It was more like something I was supposed to have, because everyone else does and that's the way life is supposed to play out. Also I have autism, so that played a role of course.

 

[timewerx]

Blaming the world for your problems is not a recipe for success. If anything it will work against a person and produce failure.

Even the married have almost %50 divorce rates. Many married couples are unhappy. Financial success/stability can't solve the problem.

Our concept of beauty is not ours, it's an image defined by the media and corporate giants - to divide us from one another so the devil can conquer.

 

[Norbert L]

Even the married have almost %50 divorce rates. Many married couples are unhappy. Financial success/stability can't solve the problem.

Our concept of beauty is not ours, it's an image defined by the media and corporate giants - to divide us from one another so the devil can conquer.

You know what's funny about using the 50 percent divorce rate stat? If gamblers and a lottery had 50/50 odds at winning that million dollar lottery, billions of people would buy that ticket. Proverbs 31:10

 

[timewerx]

You know what's funny about using the 50 percent divorce rate stat? If gamblers and a lottery had 50/50 odds at winning that million dollar lottery, billions of people would buy that ticket. Proverbs 31:10

The cost of a losing bet with such lottery ticket is negligible against potential profit.

The cost of a bad marriage is a lot. I'm imagining if divorce rate is almost %50, the percentage of bad marriage would even be higher.

I'm not suggesting to avoid getting married but at least very carefully choose who you will marry. Don't let hormones and emotions guide you but a sound mind and maybe a bit of research.

 

[Norbert L]

I'm not suggesting to avoid getting married but at least very carefully choose who you will marry.

Which is obvious for the living but does this change anything you previously mentioned?

 

[ReesePiece23]

I've been single since I found my faith aged 22 (which was around... Errr. Let's say 2012/2013 - ish?)

In that time I have travelled the world five, maybe six times.
I wrote two books.
I ran a dairy herd
Managed a farm
BUILT and established a farm
Left farming and moved into the art world.
I became good enough at painting to make decent money and form it into a reliable side hustle
Became known in the world of electrical wholesaling within a VERY short space of time (I know, random)
Earned five college certificates
Made a fortune, spent a fortune, made it back, etc...
Made celebrity friends (actually, they're really quite boring compared with the folks you meet sleeping out on the streets)
Developed an emotional callus, an interesting character AND empathy for others.
Progressed to a point in my faith where I feel as if I know God as well as my own parents

This isn't just to flex - I do have a point. And my point is in the post itself. I was THREE years older than you when I started on all of this, and I am still a very young man myself.

So get your head down, find what you enjoy and hustle. Not only will time absolutely fly over the next five years, but I doubt you'll find a relationship worth having at this age. The years from 18 to 25 just vanish like smoke pouring through a keyhole, and you will evolve rapidly over the next eighteen months - and you'll WANT to as well. Getting involved with marriage and romance now will just stifle your growth and waste your time.

That said, don't avoid girls entirely. Go on the odd date and get confident talking to them. But don't get super invested.

 

[.Mikha'el.]

Hi everyone,


Many here may remember a similar post to this,but if not I’d like to ask the community a question.I’m 19 and a male,and right now I’m my life I’m very sad being single,my sister who is younger and not a very fruitful producing “Christian” has a boyfriend.

I’m 19,never had a girlfriend,the only thing close to that was what I now consider a close friend while I was in middle school,and it wasn’t even a very atypical relationship.Now 19,I desire to marry,although I am not prepared for it I must confess,I keep praying to God to please trust me with one of his daughters,yet I still live day in and out with raging sexual/romantic desire.And it’s very hard for a single guy like me,which men are visually stimulated,to bounce my eyes,discipline the chin up policy when speaking with a girl,and being unable to release in any pure and appropriate manner.

can someone offer advice?

Focus on putting your life together so that you'll be ready when the opportunity does present itself.

 

[Soyeong]

Hi everyone,


Many here may remember a similar post to this,but if not I’d like to ask the community a question.I’m 19 and a male,and right now I’m my life I’m very sad being single,my sister who is younger and not a very fruitful producing “Christian” has a boyfriend.

I’m 19,never had a girlfriend,the only thing close to that was what I now consider a close friend while I was in middle school,and it wasn’t even a very atypical relationship.Now 19,I desire to marry,although I am not prepared for it I must confess,I keep praying to God to please trust me with one of his daughters,yet I still live day in and out with raging sexual/romantic desire.And it’s very hard for a single guy like me,which men are visually stimulated,to bounce my eyes,discipline the chin up policy when speaking with a girl,and being unable to release in any pure and appropriate manner.

can someone offer advice?

Hello,

Generally speaking, women tend to be looking for older men and men tend to be looking for younger women. So there are often men in their 30's or older are looking for a woman in her 20's, which means that woman in their 20's tend to have the easiest time finding a suitor, while men at 19 tend to have the hardest time finding a woman because they are also competing against older men, who may be more mature, who may be established in their careers, and who may have a house. However, when women gets to their 30's, they are starting to get to an age where it is less likely for them to be able to have children, so they might start to be thinking more seriously about settling down, but now they are finding themselves competing against women in their 20's, so it starts to become harder and harder for them to find a suitor as they get older.

Now, if you go to trade school for something like being a plumber, electrician, or welder, and if you spend the next 10 years focused on becoming established in your career, then you are probably going to become more financially well off, you are probably going to be able to own a house, you are probably going to become a catch, it is probably going to become easier and easier for you to attract women, you are probably going to be more mature and prepared for marriage, and you are probably going to have a better idea of what you are looking for in a woman.

This is not to say that you won't find a woman until your 30's or that you should try to find one now, just that things are currently less likely for you to find a woman, so you should primarily focus on getting established in your career rather than on trying to pursue women. If you keep focused on your career, it will become easier for you to find a woman as you get older while it becomes harder for women to attract a man as they get older, especially if they have a kid. Men tend to value youth and fertility in women, while how much women make in their career tends to not be as important to men. This probably doesn't make your raging desire any easier to deal with, but if you make wise choices now, it will probably pay off later.

 

[timewerx]

In that time I have travelled the world five, maybe six times.
I wrote two books.
I ran a dairy herd
Managed a farm
BUILT and established a farm
Left farming and moved into the art world.
I became good enough at painting to make decent money and form it into a reliable side hustle
Became known in the world of electrical wholesaling within a VERY short space of time (I know, random)
Earned five college certificates
Made a fortune, spent a fortune, made it back, etc...
Made celebrity friends (actually, they're really quite boring compared with the folks you meet sleeping out on the streets)
Developed an emotional callus, an interesting character AND empathy for others.
Progressed to a point in my faith where I feel as if I know God as well as my own parents

Congrats! Who doesn't want to be successful. I agree it's a good utilization of opportunities as single.

I also tried to get rich but mental and phyical problems stand in the way. I am slow in thought, lacking spontaneity which is a major problem in both work, learning/memory, and social interactions. I had few accidents as a child which resulted to permanent damage to the head which worsened the problems I'm already having prior to those accidents. I was even lucky in a sense, good opportunities have come my way but my deficiencies have managed to ruin it every time.

I am only very mildly successful in areas with zero or very minimal social interactions, no deadlines but they don't make a lot of money, just enough to survive but not enough to live

 

[I AM CONTENT]

I think that Jesus maybe teaching you something. It is best to be content where ever you are in life and also your season in life as well.

 

[timewerx]

I think that Jesus maybe teaching you something. It is best to be content where ever you are in life and also your season in life as well.

Talking about numbers. If divorce rates are about 50%, the percentage of bad marriages is going to be over 50% (if also including bad marriages where the couple is avoiding divorce). Christians are not exempt from this and many are simply lying about how good their marriage is. A bad marriage is a slow torture 'til you die.

That makes contentment in being single a good thing if you don't like to gamble.

On the other hand, if you got married and the marriage ends up good, that makes you special as that isn't the norm in this world anymore.