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@ Bella, I reached it afterwards, I've been in a couple of relationships and I was never fulfilled, there was always something wrong, I have found fulfilment in Christ.
@Jamdoc, living a sacrificial life of love will help deal with your loneliness, there's a joyous feeling and peace we get when we are giving ourselves out to others in love. It might not fulfill sexual lust, but it does drive away loneliness regardless of our relationship status. God bless
I don't really get why people are single forever for the most part.
I am in my forties and never been married, or in a long term relationship. Everyone I've wanted never wanted me, and vice versa. The hardest thing is that when I go on dates, I don't fall in love by the third date. Men are expecting to fool around at least, but I don't want that yet. I feel like I would have to get to know a man very well in order to fall in love, and I can't do that with most men because they want instant relationship. I am beginning to think that God wants me to be alone, and it is so sad watching everyone else I know get married.
I sympathize with you. I'm 60 and single. Only God knows if I will marry at this late stage or stay single. It can get lonely. In the meantime, focus on Jesus. It helps with some of the loneliness.
Good advice. I'm a bit concerned about your loneliness, it could also happen to people who are\were married. Their children leave home, they might lose their spouses to death, illness or divorce. As people age, sometimes they find themselves increasingly alone. I encourage you to use your time to bless others, if you still enjoy good health. If you're not actively serving in Church you can become a volunteer, you will meet others who share your interests and this will help reduce your loneliness ( due to covid 19, some people are getting more involved in online ministries as prayer partners) . God bless
Have you been single your whole life, and were you praying all the while and through the years for a soulmate? I never prayed for a husband or a soulmate most of my life, except when I was in my early 20's and then I stopped. I stopped not because I wanted to be single, but honestly, because of fear and a lack of trust which has affected me my whole life since childhood. But I'm thinking it's probably why I have never found him. because I guess, if I never prayed about it, then God cannot answer the prayer. I do regret it now.I appreciate your extremely thoughtful advice.but please dont be concerned about my loneliness. Loneliness can be a very motivating force to step out in faith and seek a soul mate. In fact, I take every God given opportunity to do just that. Any single Christian, even those who claim a strong, mature faith in Christ, gets lonely from time to time. Anyone who says they dont, in my opinion, is being disingenuous.
That's very interesting.. It's just my personal opinion, but I feel like when you reach a certain age of maturity, there really is no point to the whole marriage thing on so many levels, and I feel like that for myself. I feel like if God had someone for me, I should have met him a long time ago. but I was closed off, so he couldn't appear, and of course, I never prayed about it. My will was to stay single, even though underneath I desired and longed intimacy and love just like everybody else. I just tucked it deep inside me so that I couldn't feel it. I know of course, God knew, it was not hidden from Him.God knows the desires of our hearts. It isn't necessary to rise every day seeking a spouse in prayer. I don't. There are periods of supplication and a continuum of intercession for his welfare. I spend more time praying for my husband's well-being than a spouse. I want him to experience the Lord's best now and then. That's what I ask for.
Yours in His Service,
~bella
That's very interesting.. It's just my personal opinion, but I feel like when you reach a certain age of maturity, there really is no point to the whole marriage thing on so many levels, and I feel like that for myself..
I feel like if God had someone for me, I should have met him a long time ago, and so I think it's because I never prayed and my will was to stay single
That is very sweet you pray for your husband's well being and for Him to experience the Lord's best. You are a gem
I will check out the links. It's interesting you didn't want to marry either, when you were younger, yet it sounds like you had so many viable prospects. Maybe my thoughts on not meeting anyone because of not wanting to get married is not true after all.. But you are so right about praying for our future companions in the way you describe.. it's very beautiful, and thank you for sharing. But having said that, I think I am too late onto coming on this forum haha as I am pretty sure I will leave this earth single. Time is up on this planet earth, and we are about to be Raptured out of here at any time. I hope we can have eternal companions in Heaven or in the New Heaven and New Earth, but if not, then I know it will be fine, and it won't be needed.
You should look at the testimonies of Nancy Leigh DeMoss and Mary Whelchel. Both married later in life and have Christian ministries. I know Mary personally. Age is not a barrier for union.
I didn’t want to marry when I was younger. Time and maturity changed my mind. I’ve reconciled my spiritual concerns and grown a lot. Now I’m ready to love and serve.
Thank you. That’s what our future companions require most. We’ve asked for them and must trust the work is done and walk within that truth until it manifests. You never know what they’re going through. Our prayers may ease their burdens. Being a helpmeet is part of the job.
Yours in His Service,
~bella
I will check out the links. It's interesting you didn't want to marry either, when you were younger, yet it sounds like you had so many viable prospects.
But you are so right about praying for our future companions in the way you describe.. it's very beautiful, and thank you for sharing.
Time is up on this planet earth, and we are about to be Raptured out of here at any time. I hope we can have eternal companions in Heaven or in the New Heaven and New Earth, but if not, then I know it will be fine, and it won't be needed.
But having said that, I think I am too late onto coming on this forum haha as I am pretty sure I will leave this earth single.
Men do it to women all the time, expecting to be intimate or close to it, even when you have stated your boundaries. I have not been married and bad experiences with christian men in different ways unfortunately, not saying I drag all over the same comb. I don`t. But I have heard it said by many the most even respectable christians want it. I was in the world a long time and had a relation with a non christian but he was like a christian in many ways and believed in "God" but turned new age, we did not have any intimacy for like 20 years suddenly he wanted and I did not, because I could not without being married and I knew the way he was and abusive too it would not happen. we fit in other ways but he changed, mental health and all. A sad story.It is better to be alone than to be in a toxic and dysfunctional relationship.
And are you dating Christian men appropriate to your age? I too, was surprised at the pressure to be intimate by women who professed to be Christian by the 2nd or 3rd date.
I lived that life when I was young and single and it was damaging and unfulfilling. I gave in to that temptation in a recent relationship and it was awful. Horrible guilt and emptiness immediately afterwards.
Yes, it is sometimes extremely difficult to be alone without the intimacy that comes from being in a relationship with someone that genuinely likes you for who you are and who you genuinely like for who they are. I was married for twenty years and have never experienced that intimacy.
Part of being ready for that deep of a relationship is accepting and loving yourself as God loves and accepts you. That's a tough one for me. My challenge is being happy with who I am and not trying to find someone to make me happy. Your value and self worth is not dependent on whether or not someone of the opposite sex loves you.
I definitely stand for accepting yourself as you are warts and all, your relationship to yourself and God and all. Self acceptance is the key to loving yourself and others. Not trying to live up to how others want you to be. you are okay as long as you are trying to go Gods ways. Not being dependent is important. It is easier for ambivert or introverts. society focus on extroverts and rewards it but that is not how you learn not to be dependent and you cannot really love if you want to "use"others that way. we have to fill our own cup. otherwise we cannot refill it.It is better to be alone than to be in a toxic and dysfunctional relationship.
And are you dating Christian men appropriate to your age? I too, was surprised at the pressure to be intimate by women who professed to be Christian by the 2nd or 3rd date.
I lived that life when I was young and single and it was damaging and unfulfilling. I gave in to that temptation in a recent relationship and it was awful. Horrible guilt and emptiness immediately afterwards.
Yes, it is sometimes extremely difficult to be alone without the intimacy that comes from being in a relationship with someone that genuinely likes you for who you are and who you genuinely like for who they are. I was married for twenty years and have never experienced that intimacy.
Part of being ready for that deep of a relationship is accepting and loving yourself as God loves and accepts you. That's a tough one for me. My challenge is being happy with who I am and not trying to find someone to make me happy. Your value and self worth is not dependent on whether or not someone of the opposite sex loves you.
I`m the same way sista. I have only met one guy that was christian that did NOT want to fool around, but he had other problems and issues. And I have heard most christian men expect "it".I am in my forties and never been married, or in a long term relationship. Everyone I've wanted never wanted me, and vice versa. The hardest thing is that when I go on dates, I don't fall in love by the third date. Men are expecting to fool around at least, but I don't want that yet. I feel like I would have to get to know a man very well in order to fall in love, and I can't do that with most men because they want instant relationship. I am beginning to think that God wants me to be alone, and it is so sad watching everyone else I know get married.
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